Whisky1981 Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 1. 9 years relationship (Break up full of lies afterwards discovering that I`ve been cheated on for 6 months and left for that guy) 2. Crazy pain and suffering for a month 3. Subscribed to dance classes 4. Met a girl at dance classes that fits everything I always wanted from a girl (looks and behaviour) - love at first sight you can say 5. Girl seems to throw some signals at me 6. I make a move inviting her out bringing my hopes up because of the signals 7. She says she`s back with her ex 8. Feeling destroyed again going back to the desperation from before I met her 9. Although the fact she has her (ex)boyfriend back I have to dance for another month with her couse the lessons are prepaid for 12 dance classess over 3 months 10. Ask her if she will continue the dance classes and she says yes but with her (ex)boyfriend. 11. Feeling even more desperate 12. Tomorrow I have dance class N.11/12 and she says she will come with her (ex)boyfriend for a trial half an hour before the dance class meaning I will have to see them together for a short while 13. I know this is pathetic and this girl dosen`t owe me anything but still I am in pain 14. Really wish to continue the dance classes but have to ask the instructor to find me another girl... 15. If the instructor finds another girl for me I will have to watch her and her boyfriend dance together... 16. Don`t know if I can take this...on the other end I am telling myself that second chances rarely last especially if they were apart for 2 months and then return together. 17. Really don`t know what to do...or continue the dance classes or to cease going on them and try to forget that girl...or maybe stay in the vicinity and (wait) if things go wrong between them and make a move afterwards... 18. Really drunk today so....I don`t know...I lean on LS because this is the only place I can get some comfort for this f*cked up situation... Sorry for bothering ya alll but I guess like the title says I am venting my feelings after drinking 0,5l of whisky with a friend. Thank you for the advices and the comforting words that you`ll leave...if you want to...thank you.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 1. 9 years relationship (Break up full of lies afterwards discovering that I`ve been cheated on for 6 months and left for that guy) 2. Crazy pain and suffering for a month 3. Subscribed to dance classes 4. Met a girl at dance classes that fits everything I always wanted from a girl (looks and behaviour) - love at first sight you can say 5. Girl seems to throw some signals at me 6. I make a move inviting her out bringing my hopes up because of the signals 7. She says she`s back with her ex 8. Feeling destroyed again going back to the desperation from before I met her 9. Although the fact she has her (ex)boyfriend back I have to dance for another month with her couse the lessons are prepaid for 12 dance classess over 3 months 10. Ask her if she will continue the dance classes and she says yes but with her (ex)boyfriend. 11. Feeling even more desperate 12. Tomorrow I have dance class N.11/12 and she says she will come with her (ex)boyfriend for a trial half an hour before the dance class meaning I will have to see them together for a short while 13. I know this is pathetic and this girl dosen`t owe me anything but still I am in pain 14. Really wish to continue the dance classes but have to ask the instructor to find me another girl... 15. If the instructor finds another girl for me I will have to watch her and her boyfriend dance together... 16. Don`t know if I can take this...on the other end I am telling myself that second chances rarely last especially if they were apart for 2 months and then return together. 17. Really don`t know what to do...or continue the dance classes or to cease going on them and try to forget that girl...or maybe stay in the vicinity and (wait) if things go wrong between them and make a move afterwards... 18. Really drunk today so....I don`t know...I lean on LS because this is the only place I can get some comfort for this f*cked up situation... Sorry for bothering ya alll but I guess like the title says I am venting my feelings after drinking 0,5l of whisky with a friend. Thank you for the advices and the comforting words that you`ll leave...if you want to...thank you. I would drop the classes. Period. It's not worth the agony. 1
Author Whisky1981 Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 I would drop the classes. Period. It's not worth the agony. Yo are right I should stop going bu then again I will surrender and I will leave something that can improve my further dating capabilities. In our country if you know how to dance you can have a really good excuse to initiate contact with a girl. Now after 12 classes I`ll know the basics...and probably that is not really enough to invite girls dancing on the dancfloor...at least my self-esteem is not that high ...as I said on the other hand I will haveto watch my "dream" girl dance with somebody else...damn life, why cant one get something he/she really wishes for...for once ... Thank you for your advice!!! Maybe I will follow it...we`ll see how hard of an impact will tomorrow encounter leave on me...
CopingGal Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Hmmm, you were in a 9 year relationship and only suffered for a month? I think you should stay away from women and heal. Heal. It takes time. Don't try to heal but jumping into another relationship. Just heal.
Author Whisky1981 Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 Hmmm, you were in a 9 year relationship and only suffered for a month? I think you should stay away from women and heal. Heal. It takes time. Don't try to heal but jumping into another relationship. Just heal. I know what you mean...it is just that I came to hate my ex. Its now been 4 months since this happened. But you know when I met this girl at dance classes things turned much better for me. I just wasnt thinking about my ex anymore...the problem is that now I am thinknig of her (co-dancer) all the time. It is strange for me too but it just seem that I wasnt so much in love with my ex I just didnt realize it before she left me. People grow on each other and in time they just become use to each other and it is easy to mix that with love...you experience the true feelings when you lose someone...in my situation when I met this new girl it just struck me and from that moment on I dont think of my ex anymore. I dont know what all this means maybe it is connected with the cheating...i blindly trusted her and she took advantage of that screwing somebody behind my back for 6 months...then I cought her lying and she left me...never admited she had somebody else although I directly asked her...figured out all by myself what was really going on. All this flipped a switch in me and that switch went from caring to not caring at all about my ex. And probably this is the thing that makes me want to build a new relationship somewhere else.
CopingGal Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 You know what, build a relationship with yourself. Seriously, explore your likes and dislikes and do some soul searching. Heal and cleanse your soul. 1
Author Whisky1981 Posted April 3, 2012 Author Posted April 3, 2012 Probably will. Thank you for the advice. Maybe I really should chill for a while and stop chasing after dreams hoping to overcome fears. Its kind of hard when all your close friends are in relationships, thinking about bringing up family and have children. And you are alone like a dog...hm...makes your process of healing even more agonizing. Thank you again!
CopingGal Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 You are welcome. I am alone too, but I know I need to heal. Why don't you do some volunteer work for a worthwhile cause? Alone like a dog? Hmmm, dogs are very social animals. Maybe you should try getting one or a cat and love that. IF I could get a pet to help me through this tough time, I would. 1
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