stu1234 Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 together for 18months then broken for 3-4 months with NC for about 2. She met another guy and they broke up after 2 months together. She told me she regretted ever leaving when we met and things escalated I took her back because I do love her. Unfortunately she knows so she has me by the balls really. Anyway. So we have been back together for about 2weeks and whenever we are together its fine but her ex is always in the background. She had previously deleted him on Facebook as well as the mobile number etc but he's a troublesome guy, regularly in fights etc. Think she thought she could change him, I know that appeals to some people. Now he's in trouble on bail lalala seems to be causing mayhem and he's ringing her saying he needs her back and such things. She's a nice girl and the last few days she's been in contact with him. They've only been split up 3-4 weeks I find it really hard to take that she keeps in contact with him. She says she's worried what he will do but its eating away at me and I don't know what to do. I've asked her to be blunt with me and tell me if she wants me and she says yes, but her reassurance has never been the best. She says yes and leaves messages on my laptop such as: "You mean so much to me and I love you. I never should have left and I literally can't imagine my life without you" It's heart warming to read but she is going to see the guy tonight and its difficult for me to take. She says its to have a heart to heart with him and get it over and done with but they've been broke a while it seems unnecessary. Any advice?
EgoJoe Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 You took her back too easy. Dump her when she gets back from talking to this dude (if she even comes back tonight) and go ninja-nc, do not get used. If she really "regretted it" all then she wouldn't be in contact with this dude. Anything they could have said could have been said over the phone. She is playing the both of you. 1
moba59 Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I would have to agree with Joe. It must be difficult since you seem to love her, but it's a bad sign that you can tell she's manipulating you. Her words aren't meaningful so my advice would be to dump her and not mess with her and don't associate with her at all as long as she's still hanging around her ex. She is clearly taking advantage of you and most likely him too. 1
Whisky1981 Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Just dont be naive!!! She aint a nice girl and she aint innocent. She damn knows what shes doing! Be careful!
Exit Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 She shouldn't need to see him in person, she could get it "over and done with" through a stern email where she says she realizes who she needs to be with and it's inappropriate to stay in touch any longer. I'd like to believe that she's gonna go talk to him and tell him to get lost and then focus on you but I'd be concerned about it. It's a really tricky situation, if you tell her to leave you alone until she starts acting like she is 100% decided, she could just take the opportunity to go back to other guy or who knows what else, but you can't keep living like a doormat like this either. I think going to see the guy is BS though. I've previously gotten back together with an ex who had dated someone else in the meantime but she deleted him from her life in every way possible. If the day had ever come around that she told me she wanted to go see him for a little bit, there's no way I would have put up with that.
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