Is this how one normally feels after being the dumper? Am I GIGS?

[cherries1]

Hi all. I am totally broken up and I need to talk to someone.

 

[i erased lots. I felt that it was too long]

 

I read about GIGS out of curiosity and I feel identified with the dating him since a young age (since I was 17 y/o, he was 22), cold feet, barely no dating experience before (he did have 3-4 girlfriends, I only dated Jake for a year)... BUT NOT THE DATING OR PARTYING PART! I don't want to drink or randomly kiss guys! I'm scared, I just want to be his but I don't want to force it, just feel it! There is nobody better than him for me, and I feel very confused I feel so identified with many parts of this (GIGS post), does it mean we have a chance? Please give me advice on how to deal with this. Thanks a lot for reading.

Edited April 5, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[cherries1]

Bump, erased stuff to make it way more readable. I promise.

[gibson]

You have GIGS and you are doing what most GIGS people do... Trying to fight it, try to reason with yourself, try to convince yourself to stay, etc.

 

You are confused, torn, conflicted, have a lot of questions, etc. and although you do not mean any harm... you end up stringing / torturing your ex along while you try and sort yourself out.

 

If you go back... you will end up resenting your ex (no fault of his own) for not doing what you think you should / want to do and end up breaking up in usually a bad way.

 

If you leave... you still are torn, conflicted, confused, have a lot of questions and doubt, etc. and will most likely want to keep him around as a friend, drop a TON of breadcrumbs and all the usual stuff a GIGS dumper does. Again, not because you are mean or wanting to hurt him, just because you are you, immature and simply lost.

 

What you think and feel is VERY, VERY, VERY common at your age. Some go through it in HS, some in college and some even after that. The problem for you and your ex is... More than likely, you will come to the conclusion that you need to work through this "time", feelings and emotions outside of this relationship even though there is nothing wrong with it or your BF.

 

I don't envy you. I remember going through what you are now when I was your age. Although in the end, I did grow, learn and mature into the man I am now... I made a lot of mistakes, hurt some people, did some dumb things while going through that "process" / "time".

Edited April 2, 2012 by gibson

[cherries1]

Thanks for answering but I have been thinking all day and I've realized something. The fact that I am so lonely, friendless and that I have such a monotonous life, added to my chronic disease which makes my life limited, and a sudden fear of compromise has made me focus in negative thoughts which I had in the past.

 

I mean, in the last weeks I've been all OCD about it, but before that, I wasn't lying when I told him I loved him so much. I think feelings would take longer to disappear. I think I'm just confused and need a bit of time to get over depression and be able to enjoy life like before, and not having such boring plans with him...