blindesided Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I want to contact him so bad.....I got some information from a friend of mine about a place that we both know. And I have a juicy story that relates to this place (kind of like an inside joke) It totally sucks that I cant just shoot him an e-mail telling him the story!!!! Thats what I hate most about this - all the little moments I wont have anymore - someone to share stuff with. Ugh - I wasnt doing so great this morning anyway & then this just makes me feel even worse.... I am absolutely miserable - I can honestly say this is the hardest breakup from the shortest relationship I have ever gone thorough. I question over & over again why this one is so hard.... I wasnt sure I was "in love" or maybe I was just telling myself I wasnt. I am just so discouraged right now Thanks for letting me vent here & let it all out - I know you guys understand
cflowers32 Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 *sigh* I know what you mean, and that does suck, the whole not sharing anything. You want to talk to them and tell them stories, but no... Sorry this is so rough for you, but you know we get it. I woke up just sick, sick, sick this morning. The anxiety was so overwhelming. It's a horrible feeling. I don't want to feel this way any more either. *HUG*
Author blindesided Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 Thanks!! I know you guys get it - I love that I have a place to come and vent & get it all out - I cant even imagine what I would do with these feelings if I didnt have this place to post to. - Probably wouldve emailed him & then felt terrible. Its funny most all of my friends are in their "blissful" stages of their relationships right now - so its hard for them to relate to me right now (even though I have seen them through break ups of their own) & I dont want to be the debbie-downer of doom & gloom - We cant all seem to be in the same place relationship-wise at the same time! Plus it hurts more to be around them right now - knowing they are happy & I am suffering Misery loves company - lol 1
Author blindesided Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 [quote=cflowers32;3913361 I woke up just sick, sick, sick this morning. The anxiety was so overwhelming. It's a horrible feeling. I don't want to feel this way any more either. *HUG* I am so sorry - I know exactly how you feel - mornings are the worst! Like you - I have such anxiety for some reason. At least this week I have my son with me - so I can focus on getting him ready for school. Though sometimes I feel like I am short-changing him because my mind wanders to the Ex & I hate myself for that. And I am basically faking it until I make it - actually everywhere - work, out with friends.... I wish time would speed up a bit so I dont actually have to "fake it"
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 The little things...there is nothing bigger. I know this feeling, and I will just pass along what people have been telling me; it will pass. At least that is what I am clinging to.
cflowers32 Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I am so sorry - I know exactly how you feel - mornings are the worst! Like you - I have such anxiety for some reason. At least this week I have my son with me - so I can focus on getting him ready for school. Though sometimes I feel like I am short-changing him because my mind wanders to the Ex & I hate myself for that. And I am basically faking it until I make it - actually everywhere - work, out with friends.... I wish time would speed up a bit so I dont actually have to "fake it" Yep, you sound just like me. I feel the same with my son too, and he's such a great kid. He's going to be 12 this month, I tell him I'm sad, and he feels for me, he understands that feeling. I am taking him with me to the gym this weekend, and we'll probably go hit the green market as we usually do. I do try, but I get how you feel with the whole "fake it 'til you make it", I'm pretty sure I used that exact same thing last week, but my feeling was, I'M TIRED OF FAKING IT!!! Hang in there Girl.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I want to contact him so bad.....I got some information from a friend of mine about a place that we both know. And I have a juicy story that relates to this place (kind of like an inside joke) It totally sucks that I cant just shoot him an e-mail telling him the story!!!! Thats what I hate most about this - all the little moments I wont have anymore - someone to share stuff with. Ugh - I wasnt doing so great this morning anyway & then this just makes me feel even worse.... I am absolutely miserable - I can honestly say this is the hardest breakup from the shortest relationship I have ever gone thorough. I question over & over again why this one is so hard.... I wasnt sure I was "in love" or maybe I was just telling myself I wasnt. I am just so discouraged right now Thanks for letting me vent here & let it all out - I know you guys understand if you call him, he will make you feel like an arse for having done so, followed by awkward silence and him acting like he doesn't get the inside joke.
Author blindesided Posted April 3, 2012 Author Posted April 3, 2012 Yep, you sound just like me. I feel the same with my son too, and he's such a great kid. He's going to be 12 this month, I tell him I'm sad, and he feels for me, he understands that feeling. I am taking him with me to the gym this weekend, and we'll probably go hit the green market as we usually do. I do try, but I get how you feel with the whole "fake it 'til you make it", I'm pretty sure I used that exact same thing last week, but my feeling was, I'M TIRED OF FAKING IT!!! Hang in there Girl. My son is going to be 12 too at the end of this month! I am hoping by the end of this week - my mornings will have gotten a little easier so when I dont have him next week - I will have learned to cope a bit better - its funny I was talking to my son in the car today about his girlfriends and if he gets sad when they break up with him & we started talking about me being his age & having my heart broken. I havent really filled in him too much about my ex (thankfully I kept separatation a bit - he was around my son for certain events but not everyday so there is nothing unusual for the ex not to be around - I cant imagine how hard it has to be on yours knowing you guys were together longer & I'm sure they formed a bit deeper relationship than mine & my ex)...and yes - I am looking forward to another day of "faking" it tommorow...not...
jennisfora Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 i'm struggling tonight in a big way. the lack of contact is deafening. it makes me sad and frustrated at the same time, but mostly very sad.
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