Barrsitter Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 (edited) I'm starting a new thread to separate out this discussion which keeps coming up in my threads about how I am feeling. For the record - here are my thoughts. You will have your own. Hopefully this discussion will be respectful. I read a book about this and the premise was that we have many soul mates, each fulfilling a different role. Some soul mates are romantic, some are not. But each has a purpose for entering our lives, whether briefly or for a long time. So it is possible, according to the author I read, to have for example, three spouses whom you "recognize" as a soul mate. The concept of soul mate requires a belief in the unseen, spiritual world. If one does not have such beliefs, that is fine with me. I'm not here to sell you my beliefs and conversely, am not here to buy the theory that soul mates do not exist. Edited April 2, 2012 by Barrsitter 2
beenburned Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 It is a myth! Never believed in it, since I'm a realist who deals with facts. I am also an optimist who views her glass half full, and I always look for the positive in any given situation. There will be many people who we share a deep connection with along life's long journey!! Think of all the many people that lose their spouses early in life due to disease, war, accidents, etc. These people will find love and happiness again, and even a deep meaningful connection with another. To think otherwise would make life and love a hopeless case. The more things people have in common, the more they connect while sharing their lives.
JoeyArnold Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 We have many soul mates... three spouses?I disagree with that book to some extent. I believe it is better for a male husband to be married to one female wife for life. However, I believe that different people have different roles in our lives. I believe God wants what is best & knows what is best but that we don't. You could have three really close friends in your lives. I strongly believe that finding a soul-mate is less about compatibility & more about choice. In other words, love is about commitment: love means caring so much about the other person that you choose to make sacrifice in order to care for the other person no matter what. I believe that if we think we found our soul-mate but then we lose that soul-mate somehow, then it is still possible to find a replacement, another soul-mate somehow: so in a way there could be three or more soul-mates in one's lives over a course of one's lives. 1
frozensprouts Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 personally, i don't believe in soul mates, but i know some people do.. but i wonder if it's possible to create our own "soul mates" who somehow fill a void in our lives ta that particular point in time? ( i don't think i worded that well at all...i'm sorry, and i hope you understand what i meant)... i have heard people say that they met someone in passing or had an acquaintance , and never gave it much thought at the the time. then they run into them at a later time when their lives have changed, and they are "soul mates"... their lives are different, and now there is a void they can fill. maybe i'm wrong, i don't know, and i guess sit all depends upon your definition of what a soul mate is...i suppose different people define it in different ways... i have met a few people in my life who, at the time when we were together, i thought of as soul mates...but my feelings changed, and i stopped believing in that...maybe i'm too jaded, i don't know.. and if there is such a thing as soul mates, does this mean that they have to be together? that the people will nevr be happy with anyone else?
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I do not believe in "soul mates" in the way it's commonly used, particularly in this forum. I do believe that there are people who we instantly connect with and "know." Sometimes this is mostly giant sexual attraction. It's mysterious. I believe that people we connect with instantly are important to us for a myriad of reasons. Sometimes what we are going to learn with them is not positive. I don't believe that "each one fulfills a different purpose" or that because you feel that connection, you are supposed to have a romantic liaison or marriage with that person, though I think that marriage to a person with whom you DON'T have such a connection would be less than ideal. 1
JoeyArnold Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 (edited) Soul-mates are not born: it's not love at first sight: they're developed over decades.... Edited April 2, 2012 by JoeyArnold 2
wannabdone Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I do believe in "soul mates", or whatever we wish to call it. I do think they can be often used to prolong an A as Alice mentioned, and sometimes make it justifiable. When they speak of "soul mates" they do say that there are often multiple. Can be romantic and non-romantic. Essentially it is any one who has touched your life and feel a connection with. There are some on LS that I feel a stronger connection to than others. Simply because of the way they right or what they say, my soul has been touched by theirs. Or friends that I had an instant connection to (btw, FEW and far between and so agaisnt my nature), that I can not see for 6 months and then pick up the phone and its like a day hasn't passed. And the list can go on and on. There is a difference between what they speak of as "soul mates" and "twin souls/flames". And in fact MANY times when you meet your "twin soul/flame" it states often times they are already M. It specifically states that you are not to distrupt the M, as their journey is not to be with you at that moment. Twin flames should not be together until both of their journey's are complete. The fact is, whether you believe in soul mates or not, if you meet someone who you feel in heart of hearts is the person you belong with, walk if they are in another R. IF they are truly "meant" to be with you, they will be. And nothing should ever make you think it is okay to settle for anything less than what you are worth. Which is loving, noursing relationships. Which we all can say (from both ends of the spectrum) A's are not. Whether you believe in God, Buddha, whatever your choice is... we can all agree upon these higher beings want us to be at peace and happy and healthy. To which A's are none of the above. 4
seren Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I can honestly say that for me, my H completes me and I him. I cannot describe the feeling, I just know, that all those many years ago when I saw him I knew we would be together and he me. We met in Germany and while we are both from Wales, lived hundreds of miles away from each other and yet we found out that 200 years ago, his gt gt whatever lived with my gt gt whatever. That is coincidence, not a mystic sign or anything like that, just geography. I can see how someone might think WOW, we are meant to be, we must be soulmates. I say in my tagline that H is my soulmate, I don't view the term as spiritual, mystical, but I know with absolute certainty, that if anything happened between us I couldn't feel for another as I feel for him. I don't count the early days, new relationship limerance feelings as signs of 'soulmate ness' rather the long haul, the good times, the fantastic times, the propping up, the forgiving, the hard work and the tears all go to make us, our life, our history and the love just grows, despite his A. Had H chose to be with the OW, I would still have loved him, still have wanted him to be happy, been extremely sad (understatement) and I am no doormat. I just think that it is only through hard times, tough decisions and testing a relationship can anyone truly measure its strength. Not that I am advocating A's!! there were plenty of other tough times abounding without that. So, the airy fairy term of soulmates, no, I don't believe in it, the long term us against the world and not really needing anyone else, the little unseen acts that he does quietly, and I do for him, then yes. had I not thought this way then I sure as hell wouldn't be here now. 1
JoeyArnold Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 There is a difference between what they speak of as "soul mates" and "twin souls/flames". And in fact MANY times when you meet your "twin soul/flame" it states often times they are already M. It specifically states that you are not to distrupt the M, as their journey is not to be with you at that moment. Twin flames should not be together until both of their journey's are complete. The fact is, whether you believe in soul mates or not, if you meet someone who you feel in heart of hearts is the person you belong with, walk if they are in another R. Who is the M & who is the R?
jwi71 Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 (edited) Soulmates do not exist. In fact, I find the concept a dangerous one as it can, and perhaps often does, lead one to search for better. A never ending search. I think the concept mires people in what they don't have in a partner rather than what they DO have. A built in justification to stray - or st least window shop, looking for that one special person. And when that connection is found, and people DO find it (aka infatuation, limerence, phermonal sexual attraction), it only highlights all that is "missing" in their current partner. Or, as mentioned above, provides a handy excuse to accept the role of OW/OM. What better reason to stay than true, destined, and meant-to-be love? It all be worth it in the end. Except. What kind of cruel, demented, sick and twisted "universe" deems that soulmates NOT find each other first? WTF? I would think, that if the "universe" we're kind enough to create soulmates, at the very least they could meet young and spend MORE time together, not less. Or spending their time, as soulmates, watching the other be married to their non-soulmate. Seems like a cruel joke played by the universe really. I also think the concept of a soulmate keeps one from accepting great partners in pursuit of this so-called soulmate. That never ending search for more or better. A continuous state of not enjoying what one HAS in a mate vs the lack of "soulmate intensity". A real impediment to happiness. Edited April 2, 2012 by jwi71 2
wannabdone Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Who is the M & who is the R? Sorry, I meant M=marriage, and R=relationships.
JoeyArnold Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Soul mate to me means a person that your soul chooses to anchor itself into for life. 1
scatterd Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I dont believe in a soul mate I believe in chemistry,Newness and infatuation. I have been in love several times in my life and had a deep connection with each one.If there is a soul mate we would all be with that person forever.We are here to learn to love and what it means because in heaven thats all we know.we all have different ways at looking at things mine maybe different but its from my own experience in life. 1
Owl Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Soul-mates are not born: it's not love at first sight: they're developed over decades.... The "depth" of a relationship is in direct proportion to the amount of energy and effort both parties are willing to invest in it. You can invest in a relationship with someone for decades and feel as though they are your "soulmate". Then either or both of you can stop investing in that relationship, and over time that connection WILL fade. Resume feeding the relationship...the connection will grow again. It's not mystical nor spiritual. Frankly...it's biological and not at all amazing when you look at it. 2
wannabdone Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I'm another that doesn't necessarily believe in soulmates but I've always wondered if it really is possible but now that I'm middle-aged and experienced many hard knocks, I've become less likely to buy into anything but reality. I have a Christian background, so I do believe that there are divine interventions or meetings and that we can meet and interact with people who have a special significance and leave an imprint on us forever. Some of these meetings can only be but for a few minutes, some can be over many years........HOWEVER I do NOT believe in any shape or form that these meetings are from God if they inflict pain or deceit upon anyone else. I can not tell you how many times I have literally been rolled up in a ball on my floor whaling, asking God why he would ever allow me to meet this man if I was only going to be hurt and cause so much hurt.
findingnemo Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I think it depends on your definition of "soulmate". To me it's not the "one and only". It's someone who gels with you, who gets you and whom you get and gel with. Of course there can be more than one. Let's admit though that the love we feel for different people is ...well different. As for thinking the Universe sent me X to love.... Well, I don't believe that. If it was so then I should have been with X from day one to day last. I believe that it's a contradiction to call a MM a soulmate when he doesn't leave to be with you. Your "soulmate" can't be so if he's loving someone else. You can't feel Mr. X is your soulmate and he doesn't feel the same way...and think you're right. Aren't soul mates supposed to feel the same way, ie. feel like the other party is the soulmate too? If an older woman told me her H of 50 years was her soulmate, I'd be inclined to believe her. If a 30 something woman claims a MM is a soulmate, I will disagree. It's a paradox. It makes no sense. 2
Author Barrsitter Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 Many responders seem to equate soul mate with life-long romantic partner, but from my reading, it could be a friend or co-worker or boss etc. (as I stated at the outset). At this point, I believe it is merely someone that your soul "recognizes" from a past life. I don't think it means much more than that. And it certainly doesn't mean in respect of a romantic soul mate, that one has to act on it or is even in a position to act on it. Such is the concept of the star-crossed lovers. Pass the poison, Juliet. One can be someone's soul-twin or soul-connected person or soul-mate but not do anything about it. For me the definition is now restricted to "someone your soul recognizes from a past life". 1
casanovadude81 Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I know there are people in this world who would die for eachother. They love the other person more then their own life. Is this a soul mate?
Author Barrsitter Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 Maybe. Could be a form of insanity too. Who's to say?
Gentlegirl2 Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Many responders seem to equate soul mate with life-long romantic partner, but from my reading, it could be a friend or co-worker or boss etc. (as I stated at the outset). At this point, I believe it is merely someone that your soul "recognizes" from a past life. I don't think it means much more than that. And it certainly doesn't mean in respect of a romantic soul mate, that one has to act on it or is even in a position to act on it. Such is the concept of the star-crossed lovers. Pass the poison, Juliet. One can be someone's soul-twin or soul-connected person or soul-mate but not do anything about it. For me the definition is now restricted to "someone your soul recognizes from a past life". I worked with a woman for 4 years and then she left the job and I didn't seen her for a long time. I do have contact with her now. I believe there is an indefinable quality to our relationship that I have never had with another person. Maybe she is a soul mate. GG
bentnotbroken Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Nope, I don't beleive in soul mates. My soul belongs to only one and he isn't here yet. 1
KeepMeInMind Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I'm starting a new thread to separate out this discussion which keeps coming up in my threads about how I am feeling. For the record - here are my thoughts. You will have your own. Hopefully this discussion will be respectful. I read a book about this and the premise was that we have many soul mates, each fulfilling a different role. Some soul mates are romantic, some are not. But each has a purpose for entering our lives, whether briefly or for a long time. So it is possible, according to the author I read, to have for example, three spouses whom you "recognize" as a soul mate. The concept of soul mate requires a belief in the unseen, spiritual world. If one does not have such beliefs, that is fine with me. I'm not here to sell you my beliefs and conversely, am not here to buy the theory that soul mates do not exist. I believe exactly this, though I doubt I would call a good girlfriend that is helping me through this a soul mate. Just sounds weird to me. But the meaning behind it is all the same to me. A person (soul) who was meant to be in my life for a specific purpose. Yes, I wholeheartedly believe in that.
KeepMeInMind Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I think it depends on your definition of "soulmate". To me it's not the "one and only". It's someone who gels with you, who gets you and whom you get and gel with. Of course there can be more than one. Let's admit though that the love we feel for different people is ...well different. As for thinking the Universe sent me X to love.... Well, I don't believe that. If it was so then I should have been with X from day one to day last. I believe that it's a contradiction to call a MM a soulmate when he doesn't leave to be with you. Your "soulmate" can't be so if he's loving someone else. You can't feel Mr. X is your soulmate and he doesn't feel the same way...and think you're right. Aren't soul mates supposed to feel the same way, ie. feel like the other party is the soulmate too? If an older woman told me her H of 50 years was her soulmate, I'd be inclined to believe her. If a 30 something woman claims a MM is a soulmate, I will disagree. It's a paradox. It makes no sense. The part in bold, I tend to disagree. Let's say you were married for 10 years. Person B was also married for 10 years. You both divorce. You meet. It is entirely possible that the universe sent you that person, but that you both needed those prior years elsewhere..either to grow, to heal from a childhood or early adulthood trauma, to "find your place" in the world. I think most things happen for a reason. Everything is a learning experience. Just because you meet someone you are meant to be with doesn't mean you should've been together sooner. Could just mean you weren't ready for each other yet, for whatever reason. 1
MissBee Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Many responders seem to equate soul mate with life-long romantic partner, but from my reading, it could be a friend or co-worker or boss etc. (as I stated at the outset). At this point, I believe it is merely someone that your soul "recognizes" from a past life. I don't think it means much more than that. And it certainly doesn't mean in respect of a romantic soul mate, that one has to act on it or is even in a position to act on it. Such is the concept of the star-crossed lovers. Pass the poison, Juliet. One can be someone's soul-twin or soul-connected person or soul-mate but not do anything about it. For me the definition is now restricted to "someone your soul recognizes from a past life". That is my definition as well. For me it is not about romance and I believe the idea of a soul group....i.e. a group of people that your soul recognizes. My two bestfriends I believe are two of my soulmates....it's obviously not romantic, but they understand me on a level more than most people I interact with, we have had our ups and downs but have been friends for quite a while and there is just this sense of familiarity and comfort...best of all...they allow me to grow in the BEST way possible and have my best interest at heart. I always say that the man I will spend my life with needs to "feel" the same way they do to me. That level of comfort, recognition and freedom to be one's self, coupled with healthy circumstances. That's my definition and it exists...because I live it.
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