blueskyday Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Take it from someone who has been there. He IS abusive. He will get worse. You are in danger. You will continue to be in danger, and more of it as time goes on. Abuse ALWAYS escalates. It never gets better on its own. It's something you must nip in the bud. Every time. Abuse gets worse the more commitment you have with him. He probably first showed abuse AFTER you moved in. It will get worse if you marry him, have children with him, etc....because...He will know he has you. Abusers don't care about how you feel. They look at you as an OBJECT. They lack empathy, and must always be RIGHT. Being RIGHT is more important than anything else to them. They will assassinate your character in order be right. Reasonable people who care about their relationships don't cross this line. Get. Out. Now. That's it. It will get worse. If you want to think about it another way, think that if you leave, he may go get help. He may see he can't treat you like that. But you have no chance while you are there with him. He will get you to move your boundaries further and further away from normal until you won't know what way is up. It helps to understand that the nice part of him isn't the whole. It doesn't cancel out the horrible weight of his abuse. Don't make any excuses for him, nor think he's a good guy. That attitude will keep you there, and will absolutely enable him to get worse. You don't want that. Help yourself, and take yourself out of the equation. Don't tell him you are going to do this. Simply move out when he is gone. Abuse escalates when the abuser loses control of his/her victim. Leave and tell him later that you have left and you don't think the relationship dynamics are healthy.... Google the "abuse" cycle. See where you are in it. He is abusive. If you want to know from someone who can see it clearly with what you have said, then you've got it. But I think you already know it. Abuse is that feeling of being knocked off balance, and that something is deeply wrong....BUT, that feeling will go away if you ignore it, and normalize what is happening.... So, take action. Leave. Sorry to be so strong, but that is your only option. Do it for the kids. Protect them.
dispatch3d Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I was in this situation before. 6 months in an abusive relationship will do an unbelievable amount of emotional damage that takes some time to get over. I would just get out right now. Once you go through this once your tolerance for abusive behaviour basically goes to 0.
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