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Why is Sex all taboo and hidden if that's one of the main attractions men have ?

quietGuy13

By quietGuy13
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quietGuy13 Established Member

quietGuy13

Posted
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Men are attracted to women and that's what they want to do. That's why men want women aside from the other stuff but yeah .

 

Who actually made it so that SOciety tells us that we can't say nothing about how we want sex.

 

Like in dating. Who made it bad to say in a serious way but still say "hey you look so beautiful and sexy I would like to have sex with you"

 

I'm just wondering why that is bad to say if that's actually the truth. Who in society said that we should hide anything we want to say about sex?

 

Is it a religion thing or a manners thing.

And if it's manners, why is it bad manners to express one of the main human feelings(sex)..

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

Posted
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Its a little of both also throw in some mixed messages. I notice both genders have pros and cons to this whole sex issue in America. They often get discussed on here. The bad thing is I see people in America wanting it to be like Europe but have so many hang ups about sex. Some are hypocritical attitudes towards sex. For instance women down sex workers and porn but don't want to be seen as "sluts" for their sexual practices or talk about women being objectified but will go out in an outfit that has their breasts and butt out. Isn't that objectifying? Men having issues with women's number of sex partners. Until men and women in America really discuss these issues nothing will really change. Not argue but discuss.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
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Who actually made it so that SOciety tells us that we can't say nothing about how we want sex.

 

Like in dating. Who made it bad to say in a serious way but still say "hey you look so beautiful and sexy I would like to have sex with you"

 

I'm just wondering why that is bad to say if that's actually the truth. Who in society said that we should hide anything we want to say about sex?

 

Is it a religion thing or a manners thing.

And if it's manners, why is it bad manners to express one of the main human feelings(sex)..

 

It's a religion thing definitely because it oppresses society. Just look at all the conservative/religious and frustrated guys on this board. In more secular countries people are more forward. I've had guys tell me that without hesitation and I thought it was hot when it came from the right person.

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

Posted
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Like in dating. Who made it bad to say in a serious way but still say "hey you look so beautiful and sexy I would like to have sex with you"

 

I say that and i also have said " I want to corrupt you because you look so innocent." It merely depends on the woman you say it to. I would rather be straight forward and honest rather than make small talk. Small talk = friendzone.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

Posted
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In our society, sex is in our faces continually, we are very sexualised as a culture.

 

 

In the USA, we are indeed sexualized as a culture while at the same time being deeply puritanical and hypocritical about sex compared to European countries, for example.

 

Yes, we use bodies to sell everything, and pre-teens are dressed up like hookers and doing the "booty dance," but when Janet Jackson's boob came out of her costume or the President had an affair - oh! The outrage!

 

I happened to be in Europe during the whole Bill Clinton scandal. People there were laughing their heads off at us for making such a huge deal of it. Sure, it was beyond sleazy. And many, many people in power have often abused in similar ways all over the world. He got caught.

  • Like 1
Kamille Established Member

Kamille

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Men are doing themselves a disservice if they think their sole contribution to society is to sex up as many women as possible.

 

Surely, the gender is worth more than that?

  • Like 1
Disenchantedly Yours Established Member

Disenchantedly Yours

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Men are attracted to women and that's what they want to do. That's why men want women aside from the other stuff but yeah .

 

Who actually made it so that SOciety tells us that we can't say nothing about how we want sex.

 

Like in dating. Who made it bad to say in a serious way but still say "hey you look so beautiful and sexy I would like to have sex with you"

 

I'm just wondering why that is bad to say if that's actually the truth. Who in society said that we should hide anything we want to say about sex?

 

Is it a religion thing or a manners thing.

And if it's manners, why is it bad manners to express one of the main human feelings(sex)..

 

Because women don't just want to be wanted for sex. And a lot of men out there will have sex with women they don't really care about. Men don't always have a lot of balance when it comes to matters involving sex. Which is why it isn't as cool as you think it should be for men to, without any respect, jsut walk up to a woman and ask her for sex. It shows that that is all he cares about. Would you like to live in a society where women opennly demanded and requested men for money and made comments about what was so bad about wanting men for money?

 

And as Kamille said, aren't men better then their sexual desires? Isn't masculinity about more then that.

 

Our society hides very little about sex. Men are pretty open already about their sex drives and what they like sexually. Infact, our society operates heavily on what appeals to men mostly.

  • Like 2
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Like in dating. Who made it bad to say in a serious way but still say "hey you look so beautiful and sexy I would like to have sex with you"

That's called going direct.

 

Some men can and do use it and the women eat it up.

 

Other men will just get laughed at if she doesn't get pissed off.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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And as Kamille said, aren't men better then their sexual desires?

 

I think she said that men are "worth more" than just trying to have sex with the most women possible.

 

You might think I'm splitting hairs, but I believe that in a discussion about this subject, people should pay attention to whether they are using pejorative language when talking about sexuality.

 

Saying that they are "better" than their desires does imply that there is something negative about men's sexual desire.

 

 

Isn't masculinity about more then that.

 

 

YES, it sure is.

  • Like 2
Kamille Established Member

Kamille

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That's called going direct.

 

Some men can and do use it and the women eat it up.

 

Other men will just get laughed at if she doesn't get pissed off.

 

SD, the belief that it is some inherent characteristic of some men that make all women want to "eat it up or not" is doing you a disservice.

 

That belief is paralyzing you. Time to nuance it.

 

Women are not machines. We're individuals with our own individual preferences. What makes one woman attracted to one guy might not be the same for another.

Els Established Member

Els

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Nobody says that you can't.

 

Nobody also says that women can't slap men for saying that and turn away in a huff ;)

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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SD, the belief that it is some inherent characteristic of some men that make all women want to "eat it up or not" is doing you a disservice.

 

That belief is paralyzing you. Time to nuance it.

 

Women are not machines. We're individuals with our own individual preferences. What makes one woman attracted to one guy might not be the same for another.

Give me a break.

 

French model......................

 

(Yes I know you were not part of that thread)

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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Meanwhile, back to the OP:

 

I think you have some basic work to do on your own life before you need to worry about being forthright about your desire to have sex when you're talking to a woman.

Els Established Member

Els

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Give me a break.

 

French model......................

 

(Yes I know you were not part of that thread)

 

I'm fairly sure the guy in that thread did not go up to the OP and literally say '"hey you look so beautiful and sexy I would like to have sex with you".

irin Established Member

irin

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taboo? are you kidding we're consistently bombarded with sex everywhere!

Kamille Established Member

Kamille

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I was originally not going to respond to SD's comment. Then I realized it was perfectly relevant.

 

As far I can tell, PUA approaches define masculinity purely in terms of "sexual conquest". And while a relevant part of their output is based on teaching men to "be their best selves", their essentialization of the female gender makes them make the kind of assertions that are actually a disservice to some of their primary market.

 

One such assertion is that there are men out there who all women find irresistible.

 

Here, my specific reply to SD.

 

 

Give me a break.

 

French model......................

 

(Yes I know you were not part of that thread)

 

I saw that thread.

 

What you're doing there is confirming your own bias. It's fine SD. You don't have to believe me. But just one question: how is your current understanding of how women feel attraction working for you?

Edited by Kamille
Kamille Established Member

Kamille

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I'm fairly sure the guy in that thread did not go up to the OP and literally say '"hey you look so beautiful and sexy I would like to have sex with you".

 

Not to mention, being a model does not get you into every women's bed. I, for one, am not interested in sex when there isn't any form of intellectual or emotional connection.

  • Like 1
Oxy Moronovich Established Member

Oxy Moronovich

Posted
Posted
Men are attracted to women and that's what they want to do. That's why men want women aside from the other stuff but yeah .

 

Who actually made it so that SOciety tells us that we can't say nothing about how we want sex.

 

Like in dating. Who made it bad to say in a serious way but still say "hey you look so beautiful and sexy I would like to have sex with you"

 

I'm just wondering why that is bad to say if that's actually the truth. Who in society said that we should hide anything we want to say about sex?

 

Is it a religion thing or a manners thing.

And if it's manners, why is it bad manners to express one of the main human feelings(sex)..

You can walk up to a woman and ask directly for sex and get it. It's called prostitution. And it's one of the most popular inventions man has created.;)

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
I'm fairly sure the guy in that thread did not go up to the OP and literally say '"hey you look so beautiful and sexy I would like to have sex with you".

But he could have, and most likely still slept with her.

I was originally not going to respond to SD's comment. Then I realized it was perfectly relevant.

Glad that you see it now, but why would not have before?

 

That's exactly what quietguy wanted to do go up to a girl and say "hey you look so beautiful and sexy I would like to have sex with you" and have it work.

 

I was saying that there are some men who can actually do that and it would work on a large number of women. Versus if QuietGuy or I did it, it would have zero percent chance.

 

 

As far I can tell, PUA approaches define masculinity purely in terms of "sexual conquest". And while a relevant part of their output is based on teaching men to "be their best selves", their essentialization of the female gender makes them make the kind of assertions that are actually a disservice to some of their primary market.
Laymans terms?

 

One such assertion is that there are men out there who all women find irresistible.
Obviously not all, but a large majority yes. More irrestiable that Quietguy and I, absolutely.

I saw that thread.

 

What you're doing there is confirming your own bias. It's fine SD. You don't have to believe me.

Sadly, it's extremely hard to not confirm my own bias. I'd have to turn a blind eye to everything that might look like it would. And right now, I actually look for things that confirm.

 

But just one question: how is your current understanding of how women feel attraction working for you?
It doesn't work for me at all because I know what my value is at. Granted I probably underestimate how attractive I am, but I know I'm nothing compared to Pierre.
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
You can walk up to a woman and ask directly for sex and get it. It's called prostitution. And it's one of the most popular inventions man has created.;)

Wow, does that work for everything?

 

I can just walk into Best Buy, ask for a TV and they'll give it to me just like that?

  • Like 1
Els Established Member

Els

Posted
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But he could have, and most likely still slept with her.

 

Uhhhhhh... no. I know a few very good-looking men (doctors, too) who do the whole night club NSA thing, and really, none of them would approach women with THAT line.

blueskyday Established Member

blueskyday

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I can't believe how many men have said this to me, and think it is a compliment.

 

Sure, it's great to hear that from someone you are in a relationship with. Otherwise, it's creepy. I'm not a hooker. Come at me with something better that shows I have more value to you than my body.

 

It's not a compliment. It's an insult.

 

I assume every guy who wants to date me is attracted to me and wants to have sex with me. It's simply best to lead for a guy to lead with a romantic foot. A few sexual comments are fine, as long as it's flirting and is within bounds, and is balanced with some romantic/emotional stuff, too.

 

I don't mind a guy saying I have a nice body, or a nice booty. I DO mind a guy saying it all in a crude way that only concerns his pleasure or his sex drive. Like my mind and heart don't matter at all.

 

I'm a total woman who loves to have sex with a total, complete man. I don't sleep with a guy's wallet. Same feeling.

fucpcg Established Member

fucpcg

Posted
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It's only taboo if you see it that way. I don't. In fact, it comes up within a week or two of me meeting someone. I don't sleep around, I look for someone I can have a relationship with, and I can't have a relationship with someone I am not sexually compatible with. I would describe my sex life as chocolate, and definitely can't date a vanilla girl. There is no way I'm going to hang out for months to find out if compatible with a girl, and I certainly am not going to bury my sexual interests internally. If I talk about it quickly, and a girl is turned off by it, I already know she isn't the one I'm looking to date. If you don't understand that sexual compatibility is as crucial in a relationship as any other level of compatibility, then that girl and I are definitely NOT a match.

blueskyday Established Member

blueskyday

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How does it come up? I'm curious. Are you just checking to see if a woman is sexual?

 

Does that mean having sex within a week or two?

 

I tend to let a guy know I'm attracted to him by telling him, touching him, kissing him. But I don't want to hop in bed within a week or so...I have had guys dump me after a third date if I don't go to bed with them..I don't generally worry about those guys...

 

I love sex, and have a high drive when in a relationship.

 

I think one can tell a lot about attraction simply by kissing. That's my test. If the kiss is smokin', then the rest always is, too!

verhrzn Established Member

verhrzn

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That is why Quiteguy loses friends on Plenty Of Fish(or wherever that was) and otherwise creeps girls out all the time. You just cannot to that shiat.

 

Women are different....Men would LOVE for a woman to come up to them and say "I want to have sex with you" The guy would be like "BOY HOWDY! YAHOO! LET"S GO, MAD MARTHA!"

 

Do that to a woman....and she'll kick your nuts off

 

I disagree that guys would enjoy it, if it was a woman they found unattractive or disgusting in some way.

 

I really don't understand why guys have such a hard time emphasizing with the fact that someone whom you are not romantically attracted to, saying this is creepy/insulting.

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