Thought I saw him, weird reaction

[lilyblue]

I haven't seen my ex in many months. With spring/summer coming up, the chances that we may run into each other will go up. I was out today and thought I saw him. As he got closer I realized it wasn't him and felt fairly calm. He passed and I started shaking and couldn't catch my breath for a couple minutes. Crazy what the body does. This makes me kind of anxious about how I might respond if I do in fact run into him. Anyone else have experiences like this?

[budley12]

I see my ex on campus from time to time and each time it tears me up. I love him, but i hate him. I want to talk, but I never want to say a word. Its a weird feeling. So i usually do the immature thing and just ignore him and pretend not to see him. I hope that one day I will be able to at least acknowledge him (espcially since I still love him and would love to be back with him).

[jennisfora]

yes, i do, i get a nervous anxious feeling whenever i see a white truck, usually as soon as I see it isn't a GMC, it goes away, if its a GMC, it goes away when i realize it isnt him. i havent run into him unplanned yet. the two times we talked post breakup, it was planned, so i was prepared, still felt anxious, but i hid it well, and seemed confident and in control.

 

i didn't cry, both times he teared up though. but, we still have love on both sides, he is just convinced i wont be happy with less than marriage. and, he gets sick and anxious just thinking about it. im sure he is eyeing other women, i wasnt born yesterday, but i know his commitment anxiety is real, because i suffer social anxiety,and his description fits what i feel in a crowded room. running into him unprepared would be tough. luckily, he works at night, and sleeps during the day, so chances of me running into him without arranging it arent great.

[lilyblue]

Thanks both of you for your replies. I do the same things with the cars too... only he has two unfortunately, and they are very common so it happens a lot!!

 

I think thinking that I saw him threw me off. I've had a really bad day today after feeling kind of ok for a couple.

 

The anticipation of what I'd do if I did see him is difficult for me I think. I never got a chance to tell him anything (he vanished without a word and ignored me) or have a conversation with him so the scenario in my head plays out as running into him being my one chance to get out everything I have wanted to say for 6 months. Which of course is way too much. It just feels like chaos in my brain.

 

I hate that I'm still not over this after this much time! But I think the way that he did it makes it even worse.

[jennisfora]

i'm having a rough day too. i was feeling almost normal, and thinking i can do this, but today, since he hasn't reached out, im feeling low, and missing him, wondering if he is with someone new, or if he is thinking of me at all. but i know i cant reach out right now.

[lilyblue]

i'm having a rough day too. i was feeling almost normal, and thinking i can do this, but today, since he hasn't reached out, im feeling low, and missing him, wondering if he is with someone new, or if he is thinking of me at all. but i know i cant reach out right now.

 

I'm thinking of doing it soon. I've written the email. I just have to send it. I don't know how it could be any worse. I'm not really expecting a response, but do feel the desire to express myself. How long have you been broken up for?

[DisGai]

I'm thinking of doing it soon. I've written the email. I just have to send it. I don't know how it could be any worse. I'm not really expecting a response, but do feel the desire to express myself. How long have you been broken up for?

 

Just to make sure, was he the one who broke things off? If so, I strongly advise against not sending that email.

 

I, myself, have written a letter that I was most definitely going to send (at the time), but I'm so glad I didn't. Don't be the one to give in and initiate contact. This will not only help you move on and grow yourself, but it will also drive your ex insane with curiosity. Sending that email will only push your ex further away from you, if you have any hope of getting him back (but don't be so hopeful).

 

I'm trying not to be hopeful about any of this, but my ex was the one to try to contact me in the past couple of weeks (after 2 months of NC). And boy does it feel good to know that she was the one who gave in and tried to get my attention. I ignored her attempts each time, but the next time she tries, I'm considering sending a quick text that will make her uneasy: "Is there something you need? I'm not ready to talk to you."

[nature]

Lily, I'm sorry you are hurting. I quickly looked back at your past posts, and see what this guy did to you. Very hurtful. To go from being friends for a few years, to dating for a month, to nothing. But you have to see it for what it is. You said in some of your past posts that you want answers and an explanation. But the answer and explanation is as plain as day. He went back to his ex wife. What more do you need to know? He clearly had unfinished business with her, and was not over her, no matter what he said to you. Remember, actions speak louder than words. His actions have shown you that he wanted to try again with his ex. So forget all of the words he said to you. You need to leave this guy alone and let him do whatever he is doing. Unfortunately, you were a rebound fling, no matter if he had been split wtih his wife for 2 years. He was not over her and still had feelings for her, regardless of how much he convinced you he didn't.

 

Because he still had feelings for her, you were a rebound to soothe his hurt. I'm so sorry you got caught up in the mess of it all, but this guy is still hooked on his ex, and dating him for a month may have meant so much to you, but it didn't to him. You have to try to accept the facts here. You have all the answers you need in front of you. Now you just need to accept them. That is the hard part. Because you don't want to accept the facts. No letter to him and no words to him are going to change this fact I'm sorry to say. And at the most, you may get a response with an "I am sorry" but do you really need that? Find the closure inside yourself and realize you got entangled with an emotionally unavailable man who was still stuck on his ex wife. You can't change this fact, no matter what you say to him.

 

sometimes we need to chalk things up as a painful learning experience and do our best to move forward from them, and not try to hash things out over and over again. You deserve to heal from this.

[jennisfora]

Lily, if you are asking me how long we have been broken up, it happened on january 22nd, so so a little over two months. but i stayed LC for awhile, and we kinda mutually agreed to do NC on each other. so, last message i sent was on midnight the 24th of march. i felt bad, because i vented at him, asked him why he hurt us. and the last text was that i wanted him to think of us as we were back in the beginning. whats worse is my phone acted glitchy, so it sent like 5 texts some of which was one letter. anyway, i havent heard anything since then, and i dont expect to. so, it has been a little over a week. we had a pretty tranquil relatonship for 13 months, and then he suddenly decided he couldn't be in a relationship anymore. he was still single last i knew, but, who knows. im sure he had his eye on someone. either way, i feel like im serving time. marking days off the calander. some days, are easier than others.

[fificremefarben]

Lily, I had a very similar experience last month. I was in the nearest big city to our town (where he has moved to since the break up), walking to the train station and I was convinced at one point that the guy in front of me was him. It wasn't, but my reaction really worried me. My heart started beating like a train and I couldn't breath. Proper panic.

 

Plus, I'm not a big car buff, I just know that his car is red. So, naturally, to me every red car seems like it could be his.

 

This is the sucky part when you are just cut out of someone's life. You know you'll probably bump into each other again at some point and it'll be more awkward than if you'd just ended it amicably and rationally (ie. conversed like adults). x

[lilyblue]

Just to make sure, was he the one who broke things off? If so, I strongly advise against not sending that email.

 

I, myself, have written a letter that I was most definitely going to send (at the time), but I'm so glad I didn't. Don't be the one to give in and initiate contact. This will not only help you move on and grow yourself, but it will also drive your ex insane with curiosity. Sending that email will only push your ex further away from you, if you have any hope of getting him back (but don't be so hopeful).

 

I'm trying not to be hopeful about any of this, but my ex was the one to try to contact me in the past couple of weeks (after 2 months of NC). And boy does it feel good to know that she was the one who gave in and tried to get my attention. I ignored her attempts each time, but the next time she tries, I'm considering sending a quick text that will make her uneasy: "Is there something you need? I'm not ready to talk to you."

 

He kind of broke things off. Yes in that he stopped talking to me, you know, like any mature person would do.

 

I don't really feel like I'd be giving in. I think it's more for me at this point. If I thought there was any chance he was curious about me and that might bring him back I might think differently, but I don't think he is.

 

Glad you're feeling positive about your situation. Hopefully it goes well.

 

Lily, I'm sorry you are hurting. I quickly looked back at your past posts, and see what this guy did to you. Very hurtful. To go from being friends for a few years, to dating for a month, to nothing. But you have to see it for what it is. You said in some of your past posts that you want answers and an explanation. But the answer and explanation is as plain as day. He went back to his ex wife. What more do you need to know? He clearly had unfinished business with her, and was not over her, no matter what he said to you. Remember, actions speak louder than words. His actions have shown you that he wanted to try again with his ex. So forget all of the words he said to you. You need to leave this guy alone and let him do whatever he is doing. Unfortunately, you were a rebound fling, no matter if he had been split wtih his wife for 2 years. He was not over her and still had feelings for her, regardless of how much he convinced you he didn't.

 

Because he still had feelings for her, you were a rebound to soothe his hurt. I'm so sorry you got caught up in the mess of it all, but this guy is still hooked on his ex, and dating him for a month may have meant so much to you, but it didn't to him. You have to try to accept the facts here. You have all the answers you need in front of you. Now you just need to accept them. That is the hard part. Because you don't want to accept the facts. No letter to him and no words to him are going to change this fact I'm sorry to say. And at the most, you may get a response with an "I am sorry" but do you really need that? Find the closure inside yourself and realize you got entangled with an emotionally unavailable man who was still stuck on his ex wife. You can't change this fact, no matter what you say to him.

 

sometimes we need to chalk things up as a painful learning experience and do our best to move forward from them, and not try to hash things out over and over again. You deserve to heal from this.

 

Thanks for taking the time to look back through my posts and reply Nature. I know I have my answer in what actions he took, but I also want him to have to own up to it, not be able to get away with it in such an cowardly, immature manner. I know that no matter what I do I can't MAKE him own up to anything, but it still would give me a bit of satisfaction to remind him.

 

I agree that actions speak louder than words, but actions change depending on circumstances too. All his actions up to that point told me he wanted to be with me. I wasn't just falling for words without anything to back them up. I don't think that I was a fling. We had actually kind of done that the summer before, but this time was totally different. He approached it differently, it was just... different.

 

If all I get is a sorry from him, that will be better for me. And if not, I will be in the same place that I am now, except heard. I don't think there's closure inside me to be had at this point.

 

I've tried to figure out what to learn from this, but the closest I can get is "don't trust anyone". There's really nothing else here.

 

 

Lily, I had a very similar experience last month. I was in the nearest big city to our town (where he has moved to since the break up), walking to the train station and I was convinced at one point that the guy in front of me was him. It wasn't, but my reaction really worried me. My heart started beating like a train and I couldn't breath. Proper panic.

 

Plus, I'm not a big car buff, I just know that his car is red. So, naturally, to me every red car seems like it could be his.

 

This is the sucky part when you are just cut out of someone's life. You know you'll probably bump into each other again at some point and it'll be more awkward than if you'd just ended it amicably and rationally (ie. conversed like adults). x

 

This does sound similar to me - right down to the car identification Anything black in my case...

 

I totally agree with your last paragraph. I know I need to stop thinking "why couldn't he have just TOLD me" because he didn't. But wow, this could have been so much easier if he had just been mature about it.

[mike588]

I'm thinking of doing it soon. I've written the email. I just have to send it. I don't know how it could be any worse. I'm not really expecting a response, but do feel the desire to express myself. How long have you been broken up for?

 

Lily we have talked before..you know my story.

 

Don't do it! How would you feel if you didn't get a response...I'm sure you want one as I did!

 

I looked for every excuse to contact her...to express myself too and am sooooo glad I didn't!!!

 

She finally contacted me...stay strong...don't send it.

[lilyblue]

Lily we have talked before..you know my story.

 

Don't do it! How would you feel if you didn't get a response...I'm sure you want one as I did!

 

I looked for every excuse to contact her...to express myself too and am sooooo glad I didn't!!!

 

She finally contacted me...stay strong...don't send it.

 

Hi Mike,

Thanks for replying.

 

I think I'd feel ok if I didn't get a response. It can't really be much worse than it is right now. It'd just be another non-response, not something new or different. Just the usual, with the benefit to me of being heard.

 

I don't feel like he's ever going to contact me at this point, so it's silly for me to hold out that hope. I think that part of the reason that you're probably glad you didn't contact her is because she did get in touch with you. I can see how that would be validating (it certainly would be for me!) and make you glad you didn't contact her.

 

They're still together which makes me think they're doing well. At first I thought it'd likely be short-lived. But 6 months later, I guess not so much. Maybe 3rd time is a charm.

[M2155]

Ok send the letter. You have been talking about sending something for 6 months now to "remind" him what he did. You don't think you will feel worse, but yet you feel the need to remind him (half a year later) that you haven't moved on. You probably will feel better for a very short period but you will probably wish you hadn't done it because whatever it is you think you will get from it, you won't. There is no payback as much as we wish there was. Whatever he says, however he responds or not, it won't be just like any other lack of response because now things are different than when you didn't know why he wasn't responding. As you are hoping, it won't happen. It's just like that . But it seems like you are determined to send it.

 

I had the car reminder issue and everything else for months. I still get it. I actually saw my ex and his GF on TV and it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. But we've buried the hatchet as I know he and I could never be. I have come too far. You have too. You may not think so, but you have.

[mike588]

Hi Mike,

Thanks for replying.

 

I think I'd feel ok if I didn't get a response. It can't really be much worse than it is right now. It'd just be another non-response, not something new or different. Just the usual, with the benefit to me of being heard.

 

I don't feel like he's ever going to contact me at this point, so it's silly for me to hold out that hope. I think that part of the reason that you're probably glad you didn't contact her is because she did get in touch with you. I can see how that would be validating (it certainly would be for me!) and make you glad you didn't contact her.

 

They're still together which makes me think they're doing well. At first I thought it'd likely be short-lived. But 6 months later, I guess not so much. Maybe 3rd time is a charm.

 

I'm at 8 months now and I gave up any hope of her contacting me several months ago....I just had to let go and to do my best to move on...it wasn't easy!!!

 

Everytime I drafted up an email to her...some just to say hi others excuses to "talk" to her hoping and praying I'd get a response....I wanted her to know that I was still thinking about her and wanted her to know that the door was still open without actually saying it... well I walked away from sending it...slept on it and was soooooo glad later I didn't.

 

I too wondered and wondered....well I haven't heard from her so they must be doing ok together....they've broken up before several times so I'll wait till it happens again.....I look back on that time now and realize I was just wasting my time..my life...putting myself second...it's not worth it.

 

Even though I was over her and had put the b/u behind me when she did contact me it hurt..it set me back and open that awful wound I worked so very hard to put behind me...I'm finally over that now too...it was like losing her again.

 

I'm enjoying being single now...really...I'm spoiling myself...doing what I want to do....spending all that money I'd spend on her on ME!!

 

Of course I think about her on ocassion but it doesn't hurt anymore I just take what I learned from the relationship (red flags..others) and will apply them to my next relationship which I know will happen in time.

 

Please don't send it...focus on yourself now.

 

Keep posting if you feel you need to...I've been there...been in your shoes and it's so nice not to be there anymore!!!

 

You will get there too.

[HollyBolly]

I run into my ex quite a lot as she lives right across the street from me. Every time I would feel better, I would see her, which would set me back. The worst time was one Friday evening when she passed me in her car as I was going home. I almost had a full blown panic attack! Cold sweat, shakes, the works. I was convinced she was going out on a date but I, of course, had no way of knowing that. Worst night of my life! Had to stop myself ALL night from looking out my window to see if she had come home. Didn't look the whole weekend and then saw her car Monday morning. THEN I convinced myself that she had been away the whole weekend. Torturous!

 

I'm moving next month.

[lilyblue]

Ok send the letter. You have been talking about sending something for 6 months now to "remind" him what he did. You don't think you will feel worse, but yet you feel the need to remind him (half a year later) that you haven't moved on. You probably will feel better for a very short period but you will probably wish you hadn't done it because whatever it is you think you will get from it, you won't. There is no payback as much as we wish there was. Whatever he says, however he responds or not, it won't be just like any other lack of response because now things are different than when you didn't know why he wasn't responding. As you are hoping, it won't happen. It's just like that . But it seems like you are determined to send it.

 

I had the car reminder issue and everything else for months. I still get it. I actually saw my ex and his GF on TV and it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. But we've buried the hatchet as I know he and I could never be. I have come too far. You have too. You may not think so, but you have.

 

I know it's been a repetitive pattern. It's been swirling around my head for 6 months as well. At times I spit it out here I was just reading through some of your old threads because oddly I never have before, even though you have been so supportive to me. Looks like the couple times you contacted your ex it went alright. So perhaps there is something to be gained for me, and I'm not just saying that because of your isolated incidents, but it seems as though people on LS think it's bad to break NC 100% of the time, and I don't think that's true. I've tried adhering to this NC thing, but maybe when it has proven itself not that beneficial then it's time to try something different.

 

I don't mind that he will see that I haven't moved on. I don't think anyone would expect it to be easy. I don't think it makes me look weak, just like a human who got totally shafted.

 

 

 

 

I'm at 8 months now and I gave up any hope of her contacting me several months ago....I just had to let go and to do my best to move on...it wasn't easy!!!

 

Everytime I drafted up an email to her...some just to say hi others excuses to "talk" to her hoping and praying I'd get a response....I wanted her to know that I was still thinking about her and wanted her to know that the door was still open without actually saying it... well I walked away from sending it...slept on it and was soooooo glad later I didn't.

 

I too wondered and wondered....well I haven't heard from her so they must be doing ok together....they've broken up before several times so I'll wait till it happens again.....I look back on that time now and realize I was just wasting my time..my life...putting myself second...it's not worth it.

 

Even though I was over her and had put the b/u behind me when she did contact me it hurt..it set me back and open that awful wound I worked so very hard to put behind me...I'm finally over that now too...it was like losing her again.

 

I'm enjoying being single now...really...I'm spoiling myself...doing what I want to do....spending all that money I'd spend on her on ME!!

 

Of course I think about her on ocassion but it doesn't hurt anymore I just take what I learned from the relationship (red flags..others) and will apply them to my next relationship which I know will happen in time.

 

Please don't send it...focus on yourself now.

 

Keep posting if you feel you need to...I've been there...been in your shoes and it's so nice not to be there anymore!!!

 

You will get there too.

 

I've slept on it many many times and the desire is still there which makes me think I should just do something about it already It's kind of like how they say about craving a food - wait 10 minutes and if it's still there go ahead and eat whatever you were wanting. I've waited 6 months. And I still want to.

 

I'm glad you're enjoying being single! I'm definitely not at that point yet. But I'm also not happy dating.

 

Do you really think in your case it set you all the way back? You seem to have recovered MUCH more quickly this time.

 

I'm tired of focusing on myself! I want someone else in my life

 

I run into my ex quite a lot as she lives right across the street from me. Every time I would feel better, I would see her, which would set me back. The worst time was one Friday evening when she passed me in her car as I was going home. I almost had a full blown panic attack! Cold sweat, shakes, the works. I was convinced she was going out on a date but I, of course, had no way of knowing that. Worst night of my life! Had to stop myself ALL night from looking out my window to see if she had come home. Didn't look the whole weekend and then saw her car Monday morning. THEN I convinced myself that she had been away the whole weekend. Torturous!

 

I'm moving next month.

 

That sounds like a torturous weekend, and I can definitely see myself doing the same thing. Glad you are moving!

[mike588]

I still wanted to contact her around the 6 month mark also....I just didn't.I didn't think it would do any good and I'd come across as needy or forgiving her for the awful cruel way she dumped me.

 

I wanted her to feel bad...to feel guilty and possibly regret it..contacting her I felt would of made her feel better...like I was ok with it.

 

I also want someone in my life again some day but I'm in no hurry and am not going to settle for anyone just to have someone.

 

No it didn't set me all the way back! but it did bother me for weeks!!

[M2155]

I'm not a NC preacher, I'm a "don't do something that doesnt add value to you" preacher. Seriously, if you are determined to do it, we can't stop you. But when I contacted my ex it was within a couple weeks of the breakup and I never brought up the incident or my feelings. The second time I never brought up the incident or my feelings.

 

The first contact I do regret because I probably came off as either hurt or unaffected- either way his guilt was probably relieved knowing I could still crack a joke and wasn't dying from misery (we were actually chatting so if he had ignored me it would have ended with hi or whatever i said). Anyway, I wish I had left him to his memories. I wish i had my own advice back then;). The second time though, there really wasn't anything to it. I wasn't hurting or terribly affected, I had come far in moving on. I think it's ok to be in contact when you are over them-although I don't know why you neccessarily would want to anymore. I KNEW his relationship wouldn't work and at the very least, i was determined he and I would be friends. Today...Nope! I honestly am starting not to like him. For months all I thought about were good times and how great we were together. Now, even though i do believe he is an ok guy and I'm willing to say happy birthday and stuff, i make myself recall the last time I spoke with him, how he acted like we were great, how stupid and hurt I felt when he was sitting there ignoring my calls:mad:. That's really not someone who deserves to be a special part of my life anymore.

 

I will just caution you to think about what you say if you decide to contact him and what you hope to gain from it at this point in your healing. When it's said and done, you're still in the same position and he's still with her. Keep us posted

Edited April 7, 2012 by M2155

[mike588]

I'm not a NC preacher, I'm a "don't do something that doesnt add value to you" preacher. Seriously, if you are determined to do it, we can't stop you. But when I contacted my ex it was within a couple weeks of the breakup and I never brought up the incident or my feelings. The second time I never brought up the incident or my feelings.

 

The first contact I do regret because I probably came off as either hurt or unaffected- either way his guilt was probably relieved knowing I could still crack a joke and wasn't dying from misery (we were actually chatting so if he had ignored me it would have ended with hi or whatever i said). Anyway, I wish I had left him to his memories. I wish i had my own advice back then;). The second time though, there really wasn't anything to it. I wasn't hurting or terribly affected, I had come far in moving on. I think it's ok to be in contact when you are over them-although I don't know why you neccessarily would want to anymore. I KNEW his relationship wouldn't work and at the very least, i was determined he and I would be friends. Today...Nope! I honestly am starting not to like him. For months all I thought about were good times and how great we were together. Now, even though i do believe he is an ok guy and I'm willing to say happy birthday and stuff, i make myself recall the last time I spoke with him, how he acted like we were great, how stupid and hurt I felt when he was sitting there ignoring my calls:mad:. That's really not someone who deserves to be a special part of my life anymore.

 

I will just caution you to think about what you say if you decide to contact him and what you hope to gain from it at this point in your healing. When it's said and done, you're still in the same position and he's still with her. Keep us posted

 

I couldn't of said it any better! Listen to her!

[zanzi]

yup, my heart beat super fast, my breaths became short, and my hands sweated. My pupils probably dilated, and my hands shook violently.

ahhh, getting over people...feels great. (not)

[HollyBolly]

yup, my heart beat super fast, my breaths became short, and my hands sweated. My pupils probably dilated, and my hands shook violently.

ahhh, getting over people...feels great. (not)

 

The key = Do NOT let them know how you are feeling!

[lilyblue]

I'm not a NC preacher, I'm a "don't do something that doesnt add value to you" preacher. Seriously, if you are determined to do it, we can't stop you. But when I contacted my ex it was within a couple weeks of the breakup and I never brought up the incident or my feelings. The second time I never brought up the incident or my feelings.

 

The first contact I do regret because I probably came off as either hurt or unaffected- either way his guilt was probably relieved knowing I could still crack a joke and wasn't dying from misery (we were actually chatting so if he had ignored me it would have ended with hi or whatever i said). Anyway, I wish I had left him to his memories. I wish i had my own advice back then;). The second time though, there really wasn't anything to it. I wasn't hurting or terribly affected, I had come far in moving on. I think it's ok to be in contact when you are over them-although I don't know why you neccessarily would want to anymore. I KNEW his relationship wouldn't work and at the very least, i was determined he and I would be friends. Today...Nope! I honestly am starting not to like him. For months all I thought about were good times and how great we were together. Now, even though i do believe he is an ok guy and I'm willing to say happy birthday and stuff, i make myself recall the last time I spoke with him, how he acted like we were great, how stupid and hurt I felt when he was sitting there ignoring my calls:mad:. That's really not someone who deserves to be a special part of my life anymore.

 

I will just caution you to think about what you say if you decide to contact him and what you hope to gain from it at this point in your healing. When it's said and done, you're still in the same position and he's still with her. Keep us posted

 

Thanks for sharing. I agree, I read all the time that it's ok to contact only when you're over them. Why would anyone want to then?

 

Clearly I'm hesitating sending it, because it's been written for a couple of weeks and I still can't pull the trigger. I think I feel somewhat comforted by the fact that right now I have the potential to take action (sending it) and then after I do that I have played my only card, besides showing up at his work or house or something (which I won't do).

 

My email to him just basically outlines how I feel, how his actions affected me, how he lied to me. It's calm and well-written.

 

It's amazing to me that they're still together. But nothing I can do about that.

[mike588]

Thanks for sharing. I agree, I read all the time that it's ok to contact only when you're over them. Why would anyone want to then?

 

Clearly I'm hesitating sending it, because it's been written for a couple of weeks and I still can't pull the trigger. I think I feel somewhat comforted by the fact that right now I have the potential to take action (sending it) and then after I do that I have played my only card, besides showing up at his work or house or something (which I won't do).

 

My email to him just basically outlines how I feel, how his actions affected me, how he lied to me. It's calm and well-written.

 

It's amazing to me that they're still together. But nothing I can do about that.

 

After my ex. contacted me several times mentioning her regrets and how sorry she was I was torn about replying or not...well I finally did and so regret it.

 

My response was outlined too on how I felt...how her actions affected me ...how she betrayed me and how she hurt me...I don't know how she took it...if she was glad I responded or if it made her continue to feel guilty(that was the reason she contacted me) I don't know and I really don't care anymore!

 

I regret it because it showed I responded to her even after the hell I went thru....that I took the time to acknowledge her...that I may still be affected by her actions.

 

Even though I DON'T EVER want her back I now wish I would of kept silent...kept her guessing about my feelings and NOT have responded.

[HollyBolly]

 

It's amazing to me that they're still together. But nothing I can do about that.

 

There you go! Nothing you can do about that. Stop obsessing. Move on, doll.