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Frightened to enter into a new rlshp.


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Posted

I am 28 years old now and finally at a place where I am emotionally stable and academically focused. It took me 2.5 years to get to this point after my majorly traumatic break up with my first real boyfriend of half a year (we knew each other for 2.5 years)

 

Now a new guy really adores me but I after 5 weeks together with him things just seem so smooth, healthy and perfect but i've found myself trying to break up with him FOUR times already...he keeps being patient and trying to discuss things...I don't want to be selfish and punish him inadvertently for things his predecessor did. I thought after 2.5 years of major healing/therapy life work on myself that I would be at an emotionally healthy place to enter into a new relationship...but I recently began to feel emotionally dysregulated tearful and afraid of falling in love...these feelings over a guy are so foreign b/c I protected my heart so much after the last episode.

 

2.5 years later am I destined to never enter into a healthy new relationship ever again? This new guy is really lovely :'( please provide any suggestions/thoughts about the issue...

 

Thank you,

DF

Posted

Hi. Some things I can suggest are counseling and soul searching. I had a traumatic experience with my boyfriend and I imagine that I will be very afraid too when I start dating again.

 

I think counseling will be the best thing for you. Also, journal your feelings.

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Posted

thank you CG for your reply

Posted

 

2.5 years later am I destined to never enter into a healthy new relationship ever again? This new guy is really lovely :'( please provide any suggestions/thoughts about the issue...

 

 

You are "destined" to do one thing: die someday. You can handle everything else.

Posted

I can understand if you dont know what youre doing, why you would be afraid of falling for someone again. So you have to examine what part you played in the demise of your last relationship, and why you are so untrusting of the new guy.

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