tameee Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 About a year ago I began dating my boyfriend. Things are going great. The only problem is that I have become interested (not in a dating kind of way) in his ex-girlfriend. I looked her up on facebook and found that she is really beautiful. She is beautiful in a unique way, not the typical common kind. I have noted her amazing fashion sense. She has three or four best friends who all have amazing fashion sense as well. They all seem to have so much fun and really enjoy life. I, on the other hand, have a few friends in an extremely small town. I crave meeting more people and leading an energetic and fun night life with an awesome wardrobe to match. My friends and I rarely go out and only hang out when it is convenient. I began saving pictures of her on my laptop. This may seem creepy, but I really it makes me happy to observe her makeup techniques and what kind of clothes she wears. I guess I think of her as an idol, but nothing more. Is this "girl crush" getting out of hand?
pureinheart Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 No, I don't think this is weird. I remember watching the "soaps" back in my early 20's. I appreciated how well they took care of themselves and wanted to take care of myself as well as they did. I have been jealous in the past, but it's not my nature, so I was open to many changes that helped my appearance ...I am the one that benefited:D 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I don't find that odd at all. Although the curious part of me would like to measure the amount of spare time you have, vs. that of what is 'normal' for persons of your age and gender. Beyond that, you and that ex-GF already have something very significant in common (your boyfriend)... and why shouldn't you continue to have more regard for her and her seeming taste in guys with every new day you spend with your boyfriend? It sounds quite healthy in fact. Don't forget, most of the "ex girlfriends" we hear of are those who said or believed to by "crazy" or "psychotic". The 'good' guys in this world tend to attract the 'good' women... and they don't tend to make giant waves along their paths. Relax !! 1
SSexySSadie Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 About a year ago I began dating my boyfriend. Things are going great. The only problem is that I have become interested (not in a dating kind of way) in his ex-girlfriend. I looked her up on facebook and found that she is really beautiful. She is beautiful in a unique way, not the typical common kind. I have noted her amazing fashion sense. She has three or four best friends who all have amazing fashion sense as well. They all seem to have so much fun and really enjoy life. I, on the other hand, have a few friends in an extremely small town. I crave meeting more people and leading an energetic and fun night life with an awesome wardrobe to match. My friends and I rarely go out and only hang out when it is convenient. I began saving pictures of her on my laptop. This may seem creepy, but I really it makes me happy to observe her makeup techniques and what kind of clothes she wears. I guess I think of her as an idol, but nothing more. Is this "girl crush" getting out of hand? To be honest with you doll, I think you're right, it IS a little weird..sorry. I'm not saying that you're weird or that you have a crush on this girl, I'm just saying that it may have more to do with your boyfriend. It sounds to me like you're comparing yourself to her....and you need to ask yourself why. 1
CC12 Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I don't think it's creepy, as long as it's not an obsession for you. I wouldn't go around telling anyone about it, though. 1
Author tameee Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 Thank you all! I appreciate the serious feedback.
SSexySSadie Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Thank you all! I appreciate the serious feedback. You're welcome doll;) 1
gaius Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I don't think it's as weird as it sounds on the surface. I usually keep my hair very short but when I was dating one of my ex's I found out her ex's all had longerish hair. So I started growing mine out. Wanting to be what your partner desires is a natural instinct I think.
darkmoon Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 youtube has hours of advice on fashion and make-up - come to think of it, who taught the person that taught the fbook stunners how it's done - am only worried about OP's esteem as in thinking these women are it and she is sh...well, i'm sure you get the idea
Saxis Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 It's only kind of creepy because it is his EX... and you storing photos of her. Almost like you're jealous and trying to measure yourself up?
darkmoon Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 It's only kind of creepy because it is his EX... and you storing photos of her. Almost like you're jealous and trying to measure yourself up? jealousy is painful
Lauriebell82 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I agree with some of the posters who have said that you may be unconsciously feeling threatened or intimidated by her, therefore you are fixating on her physical attributes to ensure you "measure up." I'm guessing your boyfriend isn't aware that you are doing this behavior. But I would suggest exploring your feelings and whether this is actually healthy for you and your relationship.
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