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What are the chances of getting back together with my ex?


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Posted

I went NC for the first two weeks of the break up and then he broke NC and we've been doing LC for the past two weeks and now have begun NC again.

 

We broke up because we started to constantly argue over pointless things and he got tired of it. Also his most of his friends do not have girlfriends and they always liked to joke around and call him "whipped" and I think he finally got tired of it. He really wanted to continue being friends and still talk and hang out. He told me he still loved me but he just loved me as a friend and nothing more. But I made it clear we couldn't be friends and he seem disappointed.

 

We dated for a year and a half and only towards that last months did we start arguing. Also, we never argued in person, it was always when we texted, I guess because you tend to say things through text that you wouldn't normally say in person. He kept saying we needed to stop arguing are we were going to have to break up but neither of us put the effort in because we never took it seriously, we never thought we would actually break up. During one of our arguments over texting we decided to just stop talking to each other because we were both so frustrated. He ended up texting me a couple hours later saying that not talking to me gave him the worse feeling and he felt like something was missing and he doesn't want to ever feel like that again.

 

Finally one day after having a normal argument he decided that it would be better off to take a break from each other. I talked to him that night and he admitted he didn't really want to break up and we went back to normal. That next week he started acting really strange and distant and whenever I asked what was wrong he said he just had a bad feeling. He called me saying this feeling has been bothering him and he thinks that we really should break up this time and not get back together. The day we broke up he had gone to a game with his friends and blew up my twitter with tweets about how much fun he was having which I found a little supicious because he has never used his twitter before until that day. The next day it finally sunk in what had happened and I of course broke all the rules and cried and pleaded to get him back but he refused.He told me he HAD to do this. He came by to pick up some of his stuff and gave me one last hug. After two days of trying to change hismin I decided to start NC. I broke NC during the first week bringing up the relationship to my ex (huge mistake I know now) where he said he didn't want to get back together with me and he doesn't miss me.I sent the seed letter a week after that day. A week after the break up he was asking his friends about me and my birthday was during that week and he sent me a simple text very early in the morning saying happy birthday. One of his friends has a slip and accidenly told me that my ex had told him to ask me how my birthday was and what I did so he could tell my ex.

 

We were each others first serious relationships. During LC he started asking me if I missed him and saying I was looking good today or I looked nice at school when he saw me. Whenever we talk in person things are great, just like we are dating and I've noticed he started to put more effort in texting. But as soon as the conversation gets good he will pull back and reply with one word like yeah or okay. I still have to see him almost everyday around campus and whenever we pass eachother he usually smiles or waves and I just smile back.

 

Its been over a month since we have broken up and I decided to ask him to a quick lunch which he said maybe. I told him its nothing big, just lunch and he said i'll see. We are planned to go on a Sunday. He told me he would let me know. He never got back to me, even on the day we were suppose to go. I guess he could of forgotten but I don't know. I have started strict NC since last tuesday and now I am on Week 1 of NC. Now his best friend has been contacting me asking me about the relationship and whether or not I still have feelings for my ex.

Posted

"maybe", "we'll see", "I'll let you know", and no reply. He brushed you off. Stop talking to his friend, also; that friend isn't your friend; he just wants to have things to tell your ex. Remove yourself from this equation. There are other fish in the sea.

Posted

Dignity, all about dignity ... take your power back and be silent ... we are here for you.

  • Like 3
Posted

my ex did almost the same things. I tried to save "us" and kept asking to do things and he gave the "maybes" "we'll see" blah blah blah. I was dumb enough to keep going along with it up until the point my ex said "i am getting into a possible relationship with someone else, but I would still like to be friends and hang with you". at that point I walked away and never turned back. Sure, I would love to be with my ex now, but he is in the honeymoon stage of a new relationship and there would be noway. Im telling you this because I dont want you to go through the same thing I did. I would stay NC and stop asking for "small lunches", because then if you get a "maybe" you'll look forward to it all week and then he ditches last minute to hang with his new toy (what my ex did to me).

 

Nobody can answer whether we will get back with our ex's. But from what I have read and what my heart tells me is that the best way to get them back if your heart tells you that our ex has moved on... is to move on. If you start rebuilding yourself again and can find happiness without him then after a long time of NC your ex may see that spark that you once had -and by this time you may have moved on and your ex may have to chase you (this is atleast my tactic/hope)

  • Like 1
Posted

you don't want to be friens with your ex whilst you still have feelings=say he says, sure!let's have lunch! Then at lunch, where you think there is hope, he is telling you about his new love interest..and randomly texts her. NC is the best. I would love to say out of sight out of mind, but at least you won't have to deal with him right now. You need to not bother with these people; you are hurting right now and they are not going to help you heal.

  • Like 1
Posted

Why do people so desperately want to get back with their ex. I don't get it. I was in a great relationship for +- 9 years.. we broke up.. I felt terrible however I've never once put my mind on trying to get her back, trying to give it another go etc.. you know why? Because in your (and her/his) current state of mind.. it has zero chance of succeeding..

 

You've both checked out of the relationship.. focus on yourself.. be the greatest you you can ever become and you'll certainly find someone along the way. The irony of it is that this indeed can be your ex however if this 'is meant to be' then it will come naturally.. not with you waiting at the phone..

 

Man the F up is what I'm basically trying to say.. it does you no good in being so submissive / needy (this is specific to males ;-)

  • Like 2
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Posted

Okay today I learned one of the reasons my ex dumped me was because he thought I had feelings for someone else? This is not true at all, I am guessing he is referring to the guy I tutored for calculus. Should I try talking to him explaining the misunderstanding or keep on with nc. One of my exs friend is who told me that reason.

Posted
Okay today I learned one of the reasons my ex dumped me was because he thought I had feelings for someone else? This is not true at all, I am guessing he is referring to the guy I tutored for calculus. Should I try talking to him explaining the misunderstanding or keep on with nc. One of my exs friend is who told me that reason.

 

Why are your ex's friends the go=betweens??? This is none of their business. Unless you hear it from your ex, then don't listen to these nosey bodies.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

This is my ex's best friend though and we were good friends too so I know this isn't a rumor

Posted
This is my ex's best friend though and we were good friends too so I know this isn't a rumor

 

I don't give a flying hoo haaa if it's his Mother. If you didn't hear it from your ex himself to your face, then it means nothing. This person is your ex's BEST friend, which means ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING you say gets reported back and that is where the loyalty lies.

 

Your ex lacks in the communication department. When I was in high school, this is how we behaved. Back then there was no texting and such; we passed notes between friends. "Tell him I think he's cute", etc. Immaturity at its finest. If your ex has something to say, he needs to say it to YOU. He owes you that respect. You are not being respected here. Your ex for some reason is afraid to face you with this information himself.

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Posted

So just stick to NC and continue to heal?

  • Author
Posted

And he promises me that he doesn't tell my ex anything to say and for some reason I believe him and I really don't think he does. We were good friends before my ex and i dated

Posted
And he promises me that he doesn't tell my ex anything to say and for some reason I believe him and I really don't think he does. We were good friends before my ex and i dated

 

Stay NC. Don't tell this 'friend' anything more. He probably forwards all your texts to this ex. I reiterate, the ex should be telling you these things, you don't need a go between.

  • Author
Posted

Alright thanks for the advice. My exs friend also keeps telling me to text my ex because he probably isn't going to initiate contact with me. I sticking to NC though, its only been 2 weeks and it has helped so much

Posted
Alright thanks for the advice. My exs friend also keeps telling me to text my ex because he probably isn't going to initiate contact with me. I sticking to NC though, its only been 2 weeks and it has helped so much

 

Sounds like they are trying to lure you in an uncomfortable situation. If he wants you, he will text you. don't listen to these friends.

  • Author
Posted

My ex's friend told my ex that we were talking lately because my ex was unaware and my ex told him "ha idc. go for it. if you want. i dont care" what do you think he means by that?

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