What does 'normal' communication look like during first few weeks of dating?

[happiness0421]

I'm probably being a paranoid female, but I figured I'd get some other opinions. I've been seeing someone for about 2 1/2 weeks. All seems to be going well - we've been on 3 official dates, he's been to my place, and I've been to his place (I've spent the night there twice). By all accounts, he seems interested; however, he can be REALLY slow with communicating. He has called a few times, but our communication is mostly via text (I'm 24; he's 28). There have even been a few days where he doesn't talk to me at all.

 

I'm trying to not be a needy b*tch and be the one to reach out to him all the time, but I find myself left wondering if he really is interested in me. I can only say from experience that every other guy I've dated has been very upfront with me, and I never had to wonder whether or not the interest level was there. Maybe this guy is just shy or something, but I don't like not hearing from him and being left to ponder whether or not this is going somewhere.

 

Any advice to ease my brain? Thanks!

[Leigh 87]

Gernerally speaking, a guy who is interested in you, and is not thinking much about other women, would text most days, just to see what your up to. However, some people are busier than others. Furthermore, very guy is different, and some guys, when they are really into a girl, do not want to SEAM too interested until they know your also just as into them.

 

Basically; because every guy is different in how they approach and deal with women, it would be best to just take it easy, have fun when you see him, and not expect too much at this early stage. Ultimately, only time will tell if your both a good match, and your both in a real relationship, with keen interest on both sides.

 

Of course, there are red flags, but in the early stages I would not think too much, unless there are really obvious signs of disinterest or rude behaviour on his part; such as flakey date arrangements where he cancells at thelast minutes, signs that he does not value your time, and him being busy weekends ( perhaps indicating dates with other women).

Really, though; it is barly 3 weeks, so unless he is blatantly a jerk, and your happy seeing him, just take each day with him as it comes; take things day by day!!

You really never know what is around the corner, until your both serious and you both have extablished things are solid. Until then please have fun, and do not think too much about it until you have really strong feelings; then u should establish if your exclusive, etc...

 

Good luck, and have fun:) my boyfriend was not busy with a career so much when we began dating, but he is not needy either and loved his independance and liked to be able to dissapear for a day or two witgout having to answer to my texts/respond...

He would text every day, albiet the odd day he missed, I could count on one hand the times he did not next every day, prob only ones or twice he didn't.

 

He liked me and had a feeling about me, but he had no idea if we had a future, and was even averse to settling down in a serious relationship, and wanted to go travelling soon ( without me), and just have fun with me int he meanwhile.

Even so, he texted every day to see how I was, and whenever he was not busy with friends or work or engaging in his own hobbies, he would see ask to see me.

[cerridwen]

I'm probably being a paranoid female, but I figured I'd get some other opinions. I've been seeing someone for about 2 1/2 weeks. All seems to be going well - we've been on 3 official dates, he's been to my place, and I've been to his place (I've spent the night there twice). By all accounts, he seems interested; however, he can be REALLY slow with communicating. He has called a few times, but our communication is mostly via text (I'm 24; he's 28). There have even been a few days where he doesn't talk to me at all.

 

I'm trying to not be a needy b*tch and be the one to reach out to him all the time, but I find myself left wondering if he really is interested in me. I can only say from experience that every other guy I've dated has been very upfront with me, and I never had to wonder whether or not the interest level was there. Maybe this guy is just shy or something, but I don't like not hearing from him and being left to ponder whether or not this is going somewhere.

 

Any advice to ease my brain? Thanks!

 

Communication (not just how but also how often) is one part of compatibility.

Why is it "needy" if you want it daily?

Would that make him an a**hole for wanting it less?

Not in my book.

 

You can:

-Initiate more contact and see how he responds.

-Talk to him and see what his opinion is.

-Decide this doesn't feel good and the his effort feels lacking, and you're feeling neglected, so you'll keep your options open and not invest too heavily.

[happiness0421]

Thanks guys. I just know that during these past few weeks, he's only ever gone a day or so without talking to me. Sometimes I've been the one initiating contact, too.

 

I think at this point, I want to take a step back and have him step up. He should know I'm interested - I wouldn't spend time with you, sleep over, etc. if I wasnt into him. Maybe I'm being old-fashioned, but I think that if a guy likes a woman, he will make it known to her and pursue her. I shouldn't be left to wonder whether or not he's interested.

 

Thoughts? Agree/disagree?