NC for 7 Days. I know she's sad too, should I contact her?

[hellodearest]

My ex and I broke up a week ago, we haven't talked since. Essentially, she felt like she didn't love me as much as I loved her, and felt like she was always letting me down. She actually hadn't initiated the breakup, things were going really great, but I really dug deep into her during a lazy afternoon while we were lying around talking. She said that she wishes she loved me more, and though her love has been growing, she's afraid she would never be one hundred percent in love with me.

 

I was upset, clearly, and initiated a breakup. She didn't want to break up, but I told her she would have to let me go. She cried for a long time and eventually agreed.

 

The next day, I called her because I realized I may have made a rash decision. Her love for me was growing slowly, and I just expected too much too soon. While together, we never fought and were extremely affectionate and sexual. Unfortunately, she stuck with her guns and thought that our decision was for the best. She was slightly indecisive though, and said that although her initial answer is no, it would probably be yes, one day.

 

I know it's bull**** to sit around and wait for her. It's not like we didn't love one another, if I hadn't seen her for one or two days she would hug me for a long time when I saw her and tell me how much she missed me. We were such a huge part on each others lives.

 

Since our breakup, it's been 7 days, and I haven't contacted her at all. She knows I want to get back together, but I fear that unless she becomes sure she will be completely in love me, she probably won't call me because she knows it would break my heart.

 

I, on the other hand, know we were making progress and I want her to know that perhaps I asked for too much commitment too soon, and that I want to stay together and see where we end up.

 

Knowing her nature, I know that she is moping around and sad. Should I contact her and give her my proposal? Or contact her with something lighter? Or (I know you will all want to say this one) keep NC?

 

If you say the NC, please give me a good reason, I know were both hurting right now and I don't want to drag it out. In addition, I have the panicky feeling that someone else might come in the picture (though unlikely), since whenever were out, guys seem drawn to her.

 

She had given me a farewell letter which ended in a quote from a book we both read.

 

“She was gone, and all that was left was the space you'd grown around her, like a tree that grows around a fence. For a long time, it remained hollow. Years, maybe. And when at last it was filled again, you knew that the new love you felt for a woman would have been impossible without Alma. If it weren't for her, there would never have been an empty space, or the need to fill it.”

 

I was thinking about responding with another quote from the same book

 

“And if the man who once upon a time had been a boy who promised he'd never fall in love with another girl as long as he lived kept his promise, it wasn't because he was stubborn or even loyal. He couldn't help it.”

Edited April 1, 2012 by hellodearest

[Berlington Bob]

I see no one has replied to this so ill give it a shot.

 

No. Don't contact her. NC isn't just for 7 days. Its until you can both safely get back into a relationship. For most people that is never. At least a month but usually 6 months for those who can. I was in your same shoes not 6 months ago. Have been NC for about 4-5 months. I've gotten to the point where I only think about her a few times a week and when I do its usually a feeling of relief that I got out of the relationship when I did.

 

But... having said that it's been 4 days since your post so I'm sure having not had any replies you went and contacted her. Took me a few times breaking NC to figure out that its never a good idea too... Just pick yourself back up and go watch Forgetting Sara Marshal.