Benedictatu Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 My husband left me four years ago after we had been happily married for almost forty years. Of course I was devastated and begged him to stay for the sake of the children but he left anyway and remarried with undue haste. I thought it was in very poor taste that they wed days after the divorce was finalised, on the anniversary of the day he left me. Today was crisp and clear and I knew he would be out walking, so I drove past his house. They were working in the garden. The garden that was mine. I always worked in the garden on days like today, and he went walking. They were laughing and fooling around and i just hurried past before they could see me and came home. I had hoped to take a few cuttings to grow in pots on my windowsill as my garden is very small and shaded and the cats lie on everything I plant there. But instead I came home and cooked a big lunch in case the children came to visit. This season was always my favourite. But the children have left and the house feels so empty and everything reminds me of how things were, before. My friends are all married with families of their own and grandchildren Everywhere are reminders of what was. How does one ever move on?
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 My husband left me four years ago after we had been happily married for almost forty years. Of course I was devastated and begged him to stay for the sake of the children but he left anyway and remarried with undue haste. I thought it was in very poor taste that they wed days after the divorce was finalised, on the anniversary of the day he left me. Today was crisp and clear and I knew he would be out walking, so I drove past his house. They were working in the garden. The garden that was mine. I always worked in the garden on days like today, and he went walking. They were laughing and fooling around and i just hurried past before they could see me and came home. I had hoped to take a few cuttings to grow in pots on my windowsill as my garden is very small and shaded and the cats lie on everything I plant there. But instead I came home and cooked a big lunch in case the children came to visit. This season was always my favourite. But the children have left and the house feels so empty and everything reminds me of how things were, before. My friends are all married with families of their own and grandchildren Everywhere are reminders of what was. How does one ever move on? You have 40 years of memories with this fellow; it is only natural that even after 4 years, it will creep up on you. If I left, I would have taken the garden with me/dug up my plantings and planted them at my new place. I kid you not. I am an avid gardener and I would be damned if a new lover would have her hands in it. But that is neither here nor there. You say your kids are grown/moved out===you will have grandkids some day and your family will be bigger:) No worries about that:) Right now you are suffering empty nest and lamenting over your ex. Time to live for YOU. Since you can't very well go over to that house for new clippings, get some tulip bulbs, daffodils, hyacinths...anything that will spruce things up for you. Put them in pretty pots; the scent of the hyacinth will make you feel happy:) Also, try not to drive by there:( It will only trigger sad feelings and after all you have been through, you don't need that anymore. It's time for you to heal and be for YOU. This is all about you now; doing fun things, maybe take group bus trips; see the sites and have fun. You deserve this. Make new memories:)
Author Benedictatu Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 I have to sell my house now because I am being downsized and will only have a parttime job and can't afford my house anymore so I will have to move to a small house without a garden or maybe even a flat. I bought a big house so the children could stay but they have left and when they visit they don't stay over they mostly don't eve have lunch they just drop by and then go off again quickly as if they don't really enjoy being there. I spent a lot of money on the garden here even though I knew I would have to sell and my son told me I was being very stupid wasting money when I should be saving up because I am going to be downsized but I needed to make the garden look beautiful because I was feeling so unhappy about everything and I wanted it to look nice. Now I am just sad that I have made it nice and I will have to leave it and someone else will be getting the pleasure from it. I am also going to have to sell my car which is good because I wont be able to drive past their house anymore and see them all happy in their garden but I will still think about it and I will ask the children to steal cuttings that I can grow in pots on the windowsill in a new house or flat when I have to move but right now I would rather spend money on my garden even than fixing the roof which I know I have to do otherwise no one will buy my house but then I don't really want to sell it and it's one of the few pleasures I have to work in my garden and remember how happy we use to be.
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