Brokenheart90 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 So I am my boyfriend (I'm gay) of 2 years and I broke up about 3 months ago. He broke up with me but the breakup was relatively mutual. We were fighting all the time and we just decided that we should be best friends. I went on a few dates shortly after we broke up but none of the guys were even comparable to my ex. We also hooked up on and off and even got back together for a short period of time but my ex had recently become friends with this new guy and he really seemed like he was into him so I broke up with him again. We stopped hooking up about a month ago and one of my friends from home tried setting me up with this guy from her school. We started texting all the time and he just seemed like a really awsome guy. We finally met about 2 weeks ago and I had an amazing time and so we hung out the next week and I spent the night. I really feel like I'm getting over my ex but I still have feelings for him and theres a small part of me that wants to get back together and I know he wants to get back together with me too. I really like this new guy though hes cute funny and sweet and theres no drama. I talked about him with my ex and he was like just make sure he isn't a rebound. This got me so angry. But I really started to think about it. Could he have been right? Am I just trying to mask the pain? I feel like thats kind of what he did with his friend and I'll be honest it doesn't seem like hes into him anymore. Also. Physically he sort of slightly reminds me of my ex. Hes about the same height (i like shorter guys around my height I'm 5'6") has darker hair and has facial hair.
Confusedguy1988 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Eh it doesn't sound like you should pursue this new man. Not just yet. I've always been one who thinks that you should never jump from one relationship to another. You're obviously sad about the breakup and are unsure if you want to remain broken up with your ex. Do you guys live together?
budley12 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 my relationship was with another guy too (im a guy) and he was my first love. We dated for 2.5 years and he broke it off around the same time you did. I still love him for who he was but I know its time to try and move on. I tried dating twice so far and both times was a fail. The first time the guy was very attractive and showed interest but then I realized he was just using me to buy things so I dropped that. The second date the guy started to touch my leg and be very flirty and I immediately missed my ex. For me I know dating someone else isnt the right move. It just sucks seeing that my ex is dating already and has moved on so fast. If I was you I would just take some more time off, because it could lead to more hurt :/ If you are truly over your ex you should be able to go NC with him and stick with it and not think about him. That will be when you know you are not rebounding. Personally, I am at 8weeks of NC and i think about my ex every single day so therefore I know that I am not ready.
Chi townD Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 If you have to ask yourself if your entering into a rebound relationship, then you probably are. This is where you have to have "the talk" and slow things down and be honest about everything. I think he'll respect you more for it in the end, and all the cards will be out on the table. And if he still wants to go out and have a good time. Great! But be honest and tell him that you want to take things extremely slow. But, also point out that you enjoy his company and being around him and that you would enjoy spending more time with him. But, you're noty looking for a relationship, but you are interested in having fun with him. At this point, you're putting him in the driver's seat and he can make the determination if HE wants to continue or not. You're giving him the choice.
Author Brokenheart90 Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 I know that I really should do the whole no contact thing but I really don't want to lose him as my friend which is probably my biggest fear. I still currently live with him for another couple months. We were actually going to get another apartment together and be roommates. That changed as of a couple weeks ago. I totaled my car and had to borrow a lot of money from my mom and we me and my ex got into a huge drunken blowout about the new guy i've been talking to. He begged me to take him back and part of me wanted to but I really liked this new guy so I told him no. Then the next day I told him that we wouldn't be getting an apartment together. I felt bad because he had originally told me that it wasn't a good idea to get an apartment together and I pretty much begged him.
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