Am313 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 What kind of woman is my ex. I know it sounds like a dumb question, but she's put me through so much and I've dumped her because of it. I hate how much I miss her, and the angst I feel right now. I'll try to make this brief... We started seeing each other last November. It was casual as I didn't want a relationship. I'm 24 no kids, she's 26 divorced for one year with 2 children. In December we agreed we wouldn't mess with people in front of each other. Mid January we became exclusive, mid-February we split and in March we got back together. I dumped her last week. I honestly love this woman more than anyone I've ever been with. I care about her very much, and she is important to me. She tells me she loves me, she's never felt this way about someone before, she needs me in her life, and that she's scared because with me it will be forever. Here are some bullet points Bad: -Goes to the bar at least 4 nights a week, sometimes 6 -Frequent foul language -Claims to be a Christian* -When we were seeing each other she picked some guy up, brought him to he bar where we were, and then left and went home with him.* - Goes to Cleveland to see her ex-husbands friend, of whom she has a half naked picture of. -Begged me to be with her, to let my guard down and commit. As soon as I did, she dumped me and went on a date with someone, who she also went home with.* -I find out about the date and ignore her. Finally I tell her I know, and she begs, cries, pleads, drives by my house and waits for me to get off work.* -We become exclusive, break up a month later. -Get back together after weeks of me not chasing her and generally acting like I don't care.* -Within two weeks she asks for space. I don't let it bother me, then within a couple hours she asks me to come over -Her mood swings (or fake emotions, I'm not sure) bug me, so I write a break up letter telling her how much I love but she needs to figure herself out. -2 days no contact, we see each other again, sleep together, and stay the night. -Next day she asks me to hang out with her at the bar. She then proceeds to ignore me, flirt with other guys in front of me, etc. -Then I dump her, block all her calls, go NC* -two nights ago she texted me calling me every name in the book, telling me I'm putting her through so much. We talked briefly, but I kept the door open to the future. -Last night she draws attention to herself, friends let me know she was with some guy, and she went home with him -This morning texted her that we're better off as friends. No response. Good: -She's usually fun to be around -INSANE chemistry -Can be very sweet -Can be caring -Went out of her way for me in a big way once, I'll always appreciate it Sorry, very long-winded. Clearly this woman is not for me. Why do I still miss her? Why do I want her attention? I'm honestly afraid of being without a woman right now, and I've never felt that way before.
Chi townD Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 DUDE!!!! Just look at your Pro's and Con's list and that should answer you questions for you! She is extremely toxic and involved in behaviors that is going to put your health and life at risk. Not to mention the mental cruelity she seems to love to inflict on you! Go NC on this nutjob. Heal and move on. Unfortunately this won't be the last time you hear from her. When you do hear from her next, post here instead of responding to her.
Author Am313 Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 Thanks Chi, that's what I'm trying to do. I remember when I first started having feelings for he. I was seeing her at the time she was very sad about things in her life. I felt the pain she was feeling. I think that maybe something to do with all this. Man am I trying, though. I'm staying away from our mutual hangouts, not checking her Facebook (don't have the urge), rarely talk about her. I know the games she plays, and I refuse to play them. Next time I see her, I know she'll try to bring some guy around. I know that I need to be completely over her. The only thing I don't like about that, is that I know I won't care about her anymore. I don't know why that bugs me, but it does. I'd like to tell myself I wouldn't go back. I know I'll end up her doormat, her insurance policy, like I'm a toy or something. I know I'm not there now, but if I keep going back I will become those things.
Chi townD Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Then don't become those things! Hell, you already SEE them for what they are. Don't become a victim to them. You get your revenge. The ultimate revenge is to live a damn good life. Change yourself. Change your hairstyle and change your wardrobe. Work out at the gym, great way to work out your frustrations. Go back to school and get a better paying job so you can upgrade everything in your life. Awesome townhome and an awesome new car. Then take trips, anywhere and everywhere. She'll probably keep tabs on you and it's gonna piss her off to no end knowing that you're capable of moving on without her.
Author Am313 Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 That's the thing, otherwise life is going great! She actually said to me "I hope you're miserable without me". I'm miserable when I'm with you!! I'm in the gym daily (have been for years), I'm on the deans list at school, I have a huge promotion coming up, and Im healing from a knee injury and hopefully I'll be back playing hockey again after months of being out. It's bull**** this woman is ruining my good times. 1
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