CopingGal Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 This is what I want. I want a man who: -Is nice CONSISTENTLY -Makes me a priority in his life -I can trust -I feel safe with -Does not put my down -Is intelligent -Is funny -Is full of life -Respects me -Will stick up for me -Will emotionally support me -Is a nice kisser -Is a good lover -Welcomes me into his life -Has a large, warm heart -Is willing to look at his behavior when he behaves badly and admit it when he is wrong -Is not perfect...no one is -Has good qualities that outweighs the bad qualities -Is NOT selfish -Is NOT self-centered -Is NOT a compulsive liar -IS NOT a champion manipulator
9Lives Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Compatibility is the thing for me spiritual compatible emotionally compatible character compatble communication physical/sexual compatible financial compatible goals sense of humor affectionate music education fun neatness cooking I want to be COMPATIBLE!!! I am weighing all this out. some are way more important than others.
Author CopingGal Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 Compatibility is the thing for me spiritual compatible emotionally compatible character compatble communication physical/sexual compatible financial compatible goals sense of humor affectionate music education fun neatness cooking I want to be COMPATIBLE!!! I am weighing all this out. some are way more important than others. YES! COMPATIBILITY- very important!
9Lives Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 YES! COMPATIBILITY- very important! alot of people dont even KNOW what they want or what TO BE LOOKING FOR. They go on feelings. he makes me feel this way or that way but they dont look for what is most important in order for it to last. By the way, I just learn about this in January. I have made the same mistake over and over..and it has gotten me no freaking where. You have to weigh it out pass those feelings.
Author CopingGal Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 I made mistakes more than once too. I'm so glad I read self-help books and did the exercises. I think next time around I will take a longer time to get to know someone and drop them quickly if they start with the bs, instead of giving the person chance after chance after chance. I want someone who is GOOD to me the next time around. If he is not. I'm gone...quickly!
lilyblue Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Someone I can trust. But I don't know how you know you can trust someone.
jennisfora Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 i want someone loyal, trusting, romantic, and who is willing to communicate and work on problems. someone that i can be myself around, and is comfortable being themselves around me.
Exit Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Someone who tries as hard as I have tried in my relationships. It hit me like a ton of bricks one day thinking about my last failed relationship, "damn I gave her such thoughtful gifts on holidays, damn I took her to some cool places, damn I came up with some great memories for us to share together", wait a second -- if I ever had anyone who ever did those things for ME I'd feel like a million bucks.
Author CopingGal Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 I know that next time, I will not just give, give, give! That's what I did in this relationship. I gave him so many nice little gifts, and he gave me nothing the first year...nothing...not even for my birthday! My therapist told me to make sure he reciprocates my gestures. OF course, I give because I love to give. But when I gave, not only did I give presents, I gave of myself, I gave my patience, my affection, etc. He gave VERY little. So next time, I give a little and see what I get in return first. I want someone who is giving. Little presents are nice, but what is really important is someone who gives time, patience, and caring. My ex did those things in little drips and drabs...and then there was nothing but lies and horrid behavior.
Greekman Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Someone more honest with me and herself. I can deal with a lot of things but that's number one. It always been but it's sometimes hard to spot when someone is being less than honest. It's also easy to ignore it in the moment - along with a lot of other redflags.
Follower Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 and is comfortable being themselves around me. This for me is a real big one next time round, i have to say it just a pain in the ass when they have 0 confidence when around me , makes day to day tasks just daunting...
Mack05 Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 This is what I want. I want a man who: -Is nice CONSISTENTLY -Makes me a priority in his life -I can trust -I feel safe with -Does not put my down -Is intelligent -Is funny -Is full of life -Respects me -Will stick up for me -Will emotionally support me -Is a nice kisser -Is a good lover -Welcomes me into his life -Has a large, warm heart -Is willing to look at his behavior when he behaves badly and admit it when he is wrong -Is not perfect...no one is -Has good qualities that outweighs the bad qualities -Is NOT selfish -Is NOT self-centered -Is NOT a compulsive liar -IS NOT a champion manipulator Really like this list. Large warm heart and true compatibility would be awesome..
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I have been thinking about this a lot since my breakup as it's important to know *what* I want if I ever hope to find it....no hurry right now but eventually: Honest Intelligent Confident No drugs Has her act together financially (doesn't have to be well off, just responsible) Not stuck in the past Has an easy laugh Shares my views on life, morals and faith. Likes to get silly once in a while
Author CopingGal Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 Those are good qualities. I didn't realize it until a few months ago...YES, I need someone who shares my morals. In the past when I dated men with screwed up morals and didn't like their morals, I thought I was being too judgemental so I didn't leave. Forget that! I need a man with good morals. It's important.
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