9Lives Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 You know, sometimes YOU KNOW: They are not thinking about you. They are not talking to you They look to b enjoying their life(facebook) They didnt treat you well when you was together Why cant you just let go and move on? Why do you keep thinking about that person? Why cant you just let go just like they did and go on? It is just crazy to hold on to someone who is gone on. I wonder that because i broke up with this guy and I still think about him. He is not talking to me AT ALL. I think about him all the time. I want to be friends. I just dont understand why some people cant let it( ie me) There is no reason for me to be still thinking about him. I just dont understand. 2
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 You know, sometimes YOU KNOW: They are not thinking about you. They are not talking to you They look to b enjoying their life(facebook) They didnt treat you well when you was together Why cant you just let go and move on? Why do you keep thinking about that person? Why cant you just let go just like they did and go on? It is just crazy to hold on to someone who is gone on. I wonder that because i broke up with this guy and I still think about him. He is not talking to me AT ALL. I think about him all the time. I want to be friends. I just dont understand why some people cant let it( ie me) There is no reason for me to be still thinking about him. I just dont understand. Because you are a sensitive, compassionate person. It still hurts, I get that. I posted a thread in Coping "questions swirling around my mind"; you will see what I was dealing with. 18 months later, I still wonder why I was treated this way and now he has someone new that he is showing off (on FB) and he is sooooooo in loooooove, LOL. Permission to be a little catty; I believe I have earned the right after the debacle I have been through. If anyone ever tells you to let it go, they are wrong...do so in your own timeline, not to satisfy someone else. Healing takes time and it's different for different people. The thing that I am doing to myself is analyzing the **** out of his behavior toward me. It's only hurting me. I want to get this toxic man out of my system for good. 1
stillafool Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I guess it takes time to heal especially after being rejected. It is not a good idea to fool yourself into thinking you can be friends with them when you know you are still in love. The fact that they do not feel the same will only frustrate you and prolong the healing process. Sometimes I think that people who are struggling would do best to get off this forum for a while and actually get out and get involved with things that won't keep their mind on their exes. It seems that staying around LS too long just keeps them wallowing in pain. 2
Author 9Lives Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 I guess it takes time to heal especially after being rejected. It is not a good idea to fool yourself into thinking you can be friends with them when you know you are still in love. The fact that they do not feel the same will only frustrate you and prolong the healing process. Sometimes I think that people who are struggling would do best to get off this forum for a while and actually get out and get involved with things that won't keep their mind on their exes. It seems that staying around LS too long just keeps them wallowing in pain. i wasnt inlove with him. I just like him alot and wanted to be friends. I feel like I need to stop thinking about him but I cant stop for some reason. It is no reason for me to even care. You get with Im saying? My questions is WHY DO WE HANG ON TO THOSE GONE INSIDE OUR HEADS? Why why why...it is done and over! 1
Author 9Lives Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 I guess it takes time to heal especially after being rejected. It is not a good idea to fool yourself into thinking you can be friends with them when you know you are still in love. The fact that they do not feel the same will only frustrate you and prolong the healing process. Sometimes I think that people who are struggling would do best to get off this forum for a while and actually get out and get involved with things that won't keep their mind on their exes. It seems that staying around LS too long just keeps them wallowing in pain. I broke up with him. He was all over the place so I had to. I just wish I could get him out of my head.
CopingGal Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I suggest books that foster self-growth and help you heal from a relationship. They really, really, helped me. If it wasn't for those books, I probably would have jumped into another relationship to ease the pain. I did not. My ex is with someone, but I'm happy to be on my own, learning, and growing, and not pushing my baggage on someone else. 2
Author 9Lives Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 I suggest books that foster self-growth and help you heal from a relationship. They really, really, helped me. If it wasn't for those books, I probably would have jumped into another relationship to ease the pain. I did not. My ex is with someone, but I'm happy to be on my own, learning, and growing, and not pushing my baggage on someone else. how come some people can JUST move on better than others? it just like what is it inside of me that keeps me attached to someone who could care less? Dont get me wrong. Im not going around mourning or down and out. Im just like why bother, why care, why think about him. What is that inside that keeps you caring about someone who is gone? that bothers me about myself. Im just trying to understand that. Alot of people do that and it doesnt make sense. I need to release him for good. but I still like him....I just do! good grief! 1
CopingGal Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 how come some people can JUST move on better than others? it just like what is it inside of me that keeps me attached to someone who could care less? Dont get me wrong. Im not going around mourning or down and out. Im just like why bother, why care, why think about him. What is that inside that keeps you caring about someone who is gone? that bothers me about myself. Im just trying to understand that. Alot of people do that and it doesnt make sense. I need to release him for good. but I still like him....I just do! good grief! My ex was not emotionally invested in the relationship. He only pretended to be. He said he stopped loving me when I left him. Yet when I was with him, he ran around behind my back, cheated on me, lied to me all the time, and pushed me away. My ex said if I had just stayed with him 2 more weeks, I would have noticed a changed in him. Because 2 weeks later was when his ex-fiancee "came down from the mountaintop" to give him closure. He said he changed after that and would have been a better boyfriend. What he neglected to tell me was that while I was with him, he was cheating on me. And after his ex-fiancee "came down from the mountaintop" and he supposedly changed, he HARASSED me and told me my emotions were irrelevant. My ex is a very cruel and selfish man who calls himself a martyr and a good person. I never had a chance because his heart is too full...it's full of himself. He never loved me. He used me. He abused me...and THAT is why he moved on so quickly...in fact, he moved on BEFORE we broke up. 1
Author 9Lives Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 My ex was not emotionally invested in the relationship. He only pretended to be. He said he stopped loving me when I left him. Yet when I was with him, he ran around behind my back, cheated on me, lied to me all the time, and pushed me away. My ex said if I had just stayed with him 2 more weeks, I would have noticed a changed in him. Because 2 weeks later was when his ex-fiancee "came down from the mountaintop" to give him closure. He said he changed after that and would have been a better boyfriend. What he neglected to tell me was that while I was with him, he was cheating on me. And after his ex-fiancee "came down from the mountaintop" and he supposedly changed, he HARASSED me and told me my emotions were irrelevant. My ex is a very cruel and selfish man who calls himself a martyr and a good person. I never had a chance because his heart is too full...it's full of himself. He never loved me. He used me. He abused me...and THAT is why he moved on so quickly...in fact, he moved on BEFORE we broke up. Well it wasnt that deep for us. i never fully trusted him ever. i just like him but I knew he wasnt right. I wanted to keep in touch and be friends but I dont necesarry need the sexual connection. maybe become emotionally invested and didnt realize it. That could be why and why it makes sense at this point. This could shed some light on it now. hmmmm
Nohbody Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 YOU ARE A WOMAN. I HATE WOMEN. So I HATE YOU. I lold. few more characters should do it.
krissy1989f Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 it is hard and i cant understand....i look at the last guy i was talking tos facebook and its so hard to see him happy and not caring.....it just takes time....and sometimes alot of it :/
Author 9Lives Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 it is hard and i cant understand....i look at the last guy i was talking tos facebook and its so hard to see him happy and not caring.....it just takes time....and sometimes alot of it :/ Well first thing is quit fb for a second or defriend him and if you cant handle that...block him for now until you get yourself together or hide him in the newsfeed. You have to do. Nobody can do this part for you. Secondly, as long as you are emotionally attached to him. You are not going to be able to move on for real. I just found that out. You got to get him out your system emotionally. That is what keeps you tied in. i have to do the same thing.
krissy1989f Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 yes and not to bore you but his status today said something like "innocent until proven slutty" and i felt like it was about me because we had been hanging out/hooking up for 6 months but he didnt want to commit and be "with" me so i got a little too much alcohol in me on new years and ended up going home with someone else...which i feel was an awful mistake but he has forgiven me since and we have hung out but i finally told him we need to stop hanging out because i now want him more than just friend with benefits with him...and i felt like his status was about me...when it probably wasnt....its sooo hard to not text him and just say "i miss you" .. ughh..hate this ...idk if i should try one more time since this was my decision to stop talking...or if i should just keep going thru the pain and regrets...
blindesided Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I suggest books that foster self-growth and help you heal from a relationship. They really, really, helped me. If it wasn't for those books, I probably would have jumped into another relationship to ease the pain. I did not. My ex is with someone, but I'm happy to be on my own, learning, and growing, and not pushing my baggage on someone else. Any titles you would like to share?
Nohbody Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Any titles you would like to share? The Resiliency Factor Prometheus Rising
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