starla33 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 The is from online and he called me yesterday about it. He came off insanely nervous and was even stuttering (TURN OFF) And he also thought we were going to hang out ALL DAY I haven't even met the guy yet and am already turned off.
ThaWholigan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Thus is the curse of the nervous guy.....I feel sorry for the chap
oaks Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 If you have an open mind then you should go. If you've already decided that you'll have a bad time then that's what you will have and you should cancel to avoid wasting his time.
Dust Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Well you shouldn't give out pitty dates. If you liked him you'd enjoy the stuttering and his ineptness in dating.
Author starla33 Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 Well you shouldn't give out pitty dates. If you liked him you'd enjoy the stuttering and his ineptness in dating. I've never met him so I don't know if I like him. This is also why I NEVER talk on the phone before an online date, but he kept calling me.
Dust Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I've never met him so I don't know if I like him. This is also why I NEVER talk on the phone before an online date, but he kept calling me. well if you've never met then its just a meeting. So if you like him enough to meet him for coffee go ahead and take it from there. more of a first meeting then a real date.
Author starla33 Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 So are a lot of men. Ladies shut guys out before even giving them a chance. It doesn't matter what advice we give you because you're going to screw him over whatever we say. screw him over? excuse me? How exactly can I screw the guy over?
RedRobin Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I agree with most of the others. It's just a first meeting. Something must have compelled you to agree to meet him. Why not go and give the guy a chance? Anyway, canceling at the last minute is bad form and just creates bad mo-jo in the dating world. I don't like it when it is done to me and I won't do it to other people. Unless you feel there is some personal risk or the person has been rude to you in some way, I don't see any reason to cancel.
Author starla33 Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 As a guy who's neverous and who has had dates canceled on him left on right I know what's going to happen. Ladies make decisions before they even meet. Planning a date and canceling is not nice and not respectful to him. I never cancel unless I"m pretty sure it would be a waste of time, in which case it is possible this date will be. I do not like to be the man in the relationship.
mortensorchid Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Having an open mind is one thing, but listening to your gut is another. Don't be a push over, if you feel as if this isn't what you should be doing then it's ok to cancel. You've already said you are not feeling comfortable, if you were comfortable you wouldn't be posting on this, would you?
Author starla33 Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 Having an open mind is one thing, but listening to your gut is another. Don't be a push over, if you feel as if this isn't what you should be doing then it's ok to cancel. You've already said you are not feeling comfortable, if you were comfortable you wouldn't be posting on this, would you? Nope and on top of that I have to drive to him not the other way around. So lazyness is also playing a part. I guess I don't want to make that much effort for someone that has already turned me off?
Author starla33 Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 Why do ladies play games with guys? If you didn't want to date him, why make the date? Why is nervousness a crime? DUDE get over yourself. It is a FIRST DATE. NOTHING about it is playing games.
ThaWholigan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 DUDE get over yourself. It is a FIRST DATE. NOTHING about it is playing games. I feel his pain, as someone who was very anxious around women, we've been on the receiving end of quite a few cancellations. Who knew it was such a turn-off? He's just angry. Like I said, you'll probably cancel anyway, so I feel sorry for the chap in question. You're probably the 100th girl to do this to him.
Author starla33 Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 I feel his pain, as someone who was very anxious around women, we've been on the receiving end of quite a few cancellations. Who knew it was such a turn-off? He's just angry. Like I said, you'll probably cancel anyway, so I feel sorry for the chap in question. You're probably the 100th girl to do this to him. Well I don't cancel last minute so I'm going to have to go, but if he is like this in person there will definitely not be a 2nd date.
RedRobin Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 ok, OP. Please don't come here and complain if a guy flakes on you then, if you can't offer some respect in return. If you do cancel, then at least be honest about why. Just tell him something like 'after our phone call, I felt that maybe we aren't as compatible as I'd hoped we'd be. I'd prefer to cancel our date rather than waste either of our time. I hope you understand. " Don't be a douche and make up some phoney-baloney reason like so many other people do. You can do that of course, but you won't be getting any sympathy from me in the future when a guy does that to you.
ThaWholigan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Well I don't cancel last minute so I'm going to have to go, but if he is like this in person there will definitely not be a 2nd date. That's cool. Sorry about the chastisement you seem to have got so far in this thread, I get that the nervousness probably turns you off a great deal. I would actually advise you to be honest with him on the date and try to explain that if he's nervous it's OK.
Author starla33 Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 It is all about playing games. Guys DON'T LIKE LYING and you are lying here and you will come up with some lie to get out of the date. You're long lost grandmother is sick. Tell hm that. There's a cocky good looking charmer who's not nervous at all waiting for you. Go for him. Man you really need to get that stick out of your ass. You sound so bitter. How about taking some classes or bettering yourself so people stop flaking out on you because you come off as nervous? Don't act like that wouldn't improve your dating life because I think it would. Stop taking it out on women. It's not my fault people flake on you. I rarely flake, I just know when it's not going to go anywhere that it's kind of pointless to go on the date. 1
irin Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 aww give him a chance you never know, once he becomes comfortable around, you see a different person. sometimes people take their time.
mostlyclueless Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Go out for drinks with the guy; if he's still awful after 2 drinks, his nervousness is incurable and you've spent enough time hanging out that you can comfortably bail. 1
Author starla33 Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 Go out for drinks with the guy; if he's still awful after 2 drinks, his nervousness is incurable and you've spent enough time hanging out that you can comfortably bail. Thats the plan except I'm having one drink.
Jane2011 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I say go on the date. You never know. I talked to a guy from OLD who didn't stutter, but sounded really muffled on the phone, such that I could barely understand him. When I met him in person, I liked him. His muffled voice was just a phone thing. I'm not saying that's going to happen with your person, but you just never know. There are small differences some people have on the phone vs. in person. Also, always make the date for coffee at some place you'd go to anyway. And keep it short, if necessary.
fishtaco Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 That's right boys, heed this thread. This, is dating. This is why practice is absolutely necessary. You show weakness, lack of confidence, and you are immediately ruled out. Your success would be dependent on the good will of the women who decide to give you a chance, or the nice LS people that talk them into it. Quite an ignoble way to go even if you succeed. I vote for starla33 to drop this guy. He doesn't deserve a date until he gets his act together. The phone is actually my weakest area as well. I don't stutter, but I'd sound nervous. If I were to become single again, that's what I'd need to work on. I'd either have to just keep getting new numbers and making that call until it's no big deal, or learn to control my voice better. Or both. I wonder if taking public speaking classes would help. Anyway, dog and pony show. Do it and do it well.
turt Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I never cancel unless I"m pretty sure it would be a waste of time, in which case it is possible this date will be. I do not like to be the man in the relationship. He's not a man because he is nervous?
lso802 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 lol. i used to be like that. don't go on pity dates. if you're already turned off by the guy as much it sounds, just let him go. as for the other fellas, don't sweat being nervous. it's a numbers game. it may be a turn-off for this chic from the get-go, but the next one won't care.
Kuen Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 If am on your situation I would still go out with the guy because it doesn't matter why not try and after meeting him if you really don't like. Then i think that's the best time you decide. Just give him a chance...
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