Sad Cupid Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 just last night. it was tough, i even had to burn everything they ever got for me. she is the mother of my unborn child but shes a bpd narcissist and doing nothing with herself but blaming me. i was the only one that supported her with anything and all she did was put me down all the time and attack me. she cheated on me, gave me herpes, asked me to marry her then ONLY treated me like **** all the time... so i decided after months of being an on call bf to her, and waiting for her, that im done. i deserve better than all that shes been doing to me. shes so abusive to me that she says im abusive to HER when all i do is tell her, "hey when you do that it hurts my feelings" THATS NOT ABUSE! calling her when she emails me to call her, not abuse. not yelling at her when shes telling me im an effing this and that, NOT ABUSE! not talking to her when she threatens me with restraining orders for NO EFFING REASON IS NOT ABUSE!! i was abused as a young boy, and i know what abuse is, shes a psychotic lunatic that treated me like **** for so long.. i just worry about my kid because she did drugs and drank while she was preg, THATS ABUSE! her telling me not to talk to her than emailing me that she loves me and misses me, and telling me to call her just so she could say she doesnt want to see me, THATS ABUSE!! telling me im abusing her and manipulating her when im not and shes the only one doing that to me, THATS ABUSE! so yeah, i decided im done. no more of this abusive bull****. she thinks she can raise a kid on her own, but theres no ****ing way she will be able to, shes an idiot for acting how she does. she told me to go ****ing die in a war and **** and that i deserve to be abused. when she asked me to marry her, and i agreed, she changed into a monster. and when she got pregnant, she wouldnt speak to me, making me feel like shes pregnant through someone else. i hate my life right now.. its so ridiculous but the first step, getting her out of my system, has been taken, i told her i wanted a paternity test because she had cheated on me twice before. i just wish people could get their act together, and take responsibility. woman are a joke. well, some of them.
jarbob Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Hey man, im sorry to hear you went through all that. I feel your pain. My wife has been cheating on me and she gets angry at the littlest thing. She makes me so happy at times and then so miserable sometimes. Have you thought about what you might do if she is pregnant with your child? Do you think you should try to get custody? You probably could if you can prove that she is now drinking and using drugs while pregnant.
Author Sad Cupid Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 im going to give her what she wants. she thinks she can raise a kid on her own, at 22, with no job and she still lives with her mom, she has another thing coming. ill let her figure it out on her own, the hard way, and when she realizes that im speaking the truth, she will know. imma post the last 3 messages between us. from my abuser "your a ****ing psycho. this behavior is exactly what im talking about. your never going to be a part of my life. NEVER. i hope you join the navy and die in war or something so my child never has so find out how ****ed up of a person thier father was. your a ****ing loser (my name). i have absolutley no respect for you because your living in your own lies. i really dont care i you never speak to me again. its probably the best news i've heard in a while. have you stoped to think that maybe i've been pushing you away because your a ****ing psycho and im pregnant! i cant have your ****ty stressfull bull**** in my life. in my eyes you still havent changed you because your still acting out and calling my house and trying to contact me. just leave me alone. you can have your ****ing paternity test. i'm getting a restaining order against you for sure. i've given you so many chances to to behave like a normal person and your completely incapable. i dont blame you, you had one of the most messed childhoods i could ever imagine. i think you have psychological damage, your never going to be a part of my childs life. your not a suitable parent in any way shape or form. i come from a loving family whos always been there for me and has never abused... you havent. dont contact me or im calling the cops on you." this was a response to this letter i sent her, "you mean the world to me, im sorry for being upset in the voicemail, i was trying my hardest to convey my emotions to you and how you hurt my feelings without being rude. im sorry if it caused you any stress, thats the last thing i want you to be. i know your scared. we are both nervous about what "MAY" happen, but we can change all that and determine ourselves what will happen. i have changed my life so much these past few weeks and everyday we dont speak i feel as if we are drifting farther and farther apart and it kills me inside. i want to be in your eyesight, in your earshot, projecting love and beauty onto you so that it sinks into our child. im giving you the space you want because i love and respect you and just want you to be happy but im not sure if space is really what you need right now.. we are both at turning points in our lives. i no longer make dirty money or even smoke that stuff anymore. my demeanor is alot more controlled and calm. please dont judge me for having emotions between us right now because we are both growing up and becoming better more responsible people. if theres anything i can do, as always, let me know sweetheart.. also i had a ****ty day with the bus driver, he came late after i stood in the rain and was late to work for 1 hour, then half way to work he yells out to the bus "im going the wrong way, everyone has to get off" and just kicks everyone off the bus back into the rain, it sucked but it was what it was and eventually i got to work and everything was fine. my boss was surprised to see me because he told me i could just not come in as they only had a few things to do, worked lasted for everyone like an hour today as it was still a training day. (but going in still seemed to really impress him) i just want you to know that ive been going to bed early and waking up before sunrise everyday, working my butt off to secure our financial future for us and our kid. im sorry i tell you that i love you so much. im sorry i tell you that i miss you all the time. im sorry that i want to see you so badly. but we are having a kid together, you asked me to marry you, we have the same goals in life, the same spirituality, pretty much the same morals, im so open and loving and flexible to you dearest, i crave you more than coca cola, or money or ANYTHING! this is why i feel how i do and say what i say and do what i do! i could never imagine being with another woman. i cant even go to the mall and stomach seeing a victorias secret girl on the window.. just know, that no matter the road you decide to travel down alyssa, that no matter what happens in YOUR life, i will be here, in my life, waiting, praying, missing and loving you. i waited 3 years to meet you, and no one could ever tell me i settled or that your not good enough for me or ANYTHING. i know who you are, and what you are, and what we have. making you cry tears of joy is my daily GOAL, all those nights you professed your love for me, do you remember them? all those beautiful tears of loving joy and acceptance? they all fell onto my heart, and planted flowers of ever lasting love for you. and the sun will always shine upon them and they will always glow for you. the doors of my soul are always open to you, and until you return, i will be here. waiting for the ONE that i love. because i believe in one love. and you are the one." so when she sent that 1st message to me, i was fed up, this is the last message i will ever send her, and this is what i said, "i never abused you. i never talk down to you. telling you that what your doing is hurting my feelings is not abuse. i dont swear at you or put you down, ive been in the darkness with you for so long and all you do is attack me. i cant handle the way you treat me anymore, im trying to support you and thats it but your creating all this negativity. there will never be another man on this earth that loved you like i do (her name), thats why WE have a kid coming. theres no reason for a restraining order, and technically since we have a kid together, you could never have a permanent one, and ive never actually abused you so.. all i wanted was to be treated with love as i had treated you with love and you couldnt do that for me. im sorry i had to cut ties, but its whats best for me at this point in my life.. your so abusive to me all the time (her name), and what breaks my heart is that i dont think you even see what your doing.. im sorry for sending you this message but ive bit my tongue for so long because your the mother of my unborn child, but that doesnt give you the right to treat me like **** all the time, and you do, its a fact. im going to take care of my child, and one day, when you see how much wrong you did to me, and you want to change and become a better person that solves their problems and doesnt blame everyone else for your own actions, then maybe ill let you back into my heart and my life. but until then i cant even think about you because you have literally put me through hell. i did nothing but support you, i did everything you ever asked me to do and STILL you just create problems and negativity. im done being put down by you all the time and manipulated and blamed for your flaws, ive always loved you and accepted you for who you ARE not what you do, but i cant bear this burden anymore. telling me to go die and im an effing this and that totally proves my point. its time to grow up now and stop being so mean to people who support and love you, all i shown you was support and love and you just kept on treating me like trash over and over and over and over and over. this is the last message i will ever send you. im not going to try to contact you ever again. its a shame you had to act this way. its a shame that your making another fatherless child, a bastard child. we are adults now, its time to act like it. yelling at me, swearing at me, putting me down, its immature (her name), i cant even remember the last time i did that to you. you wanted space and you got it, u wanted me to call you and BOOM, u wanted me to marry you and we got engaged, you told me u wanted a kid and now you have one. ive done everything for you, anything you ever asked for i gave you, no matter what it took out of me. ive been busting my ass at work, i barely sleep, and all i used to think about was you, how your doing, where your at, how your feeling.. i love you girl, and always will.. when you see how hard it will be to raise a child, and you need help, ill be here girly, ill be RIGHT HERE waiting, and i will take you back. infact we should get some counseling to be honest.. your not in this alone, im not looking for another woman or anything, im just not going to be on call for you while you treat me like **** all the time, i do nothing but love and support you, i deserve better than this. so yeah, thats it, this is the end of our last message, please find some help for yourself, please understand that the stuff going on between us, isnt all me, infact, alot of it IS YOU (her name), and i know thats a hard pill to swallow, but its the truth. if it wasnt the truth, i would still be that on call boyfriend, supporting you and loving you, but i cant keep doing that for you anymore because you just crush my spirit all the time, and im done allowing you to abuse me like this. and yeah your right, i WAS abused as a kid, thats why i know what actual abuse IS and i would never let my child be abused nor would i ever abuse them, you dont seem to know what it is because you telling me that saying "i love you" is abuse, when its so far from the truth. i know you being pregnant is bringing out all the pain from your dad dying, and alyssa, i WILL take you back when you realize how bad you actually need me, love me, want me and miss me (and when you see how your actions effected me). i know your emotions are high and you feel like your all alone in this and that you hate me and all that jazz, but search your heart (not your mind) and you will see, that you love me more than anyone on this planet, which is why your bearing my child. the doors of forgiveness in my heart are forever open to you, i hope one day you actually see how you treated me and what you actually put me through. you will always have a place in my life and my heart and i will always love you. if i end up meeting some girl down the road and you came back to me and said you wanted to be a family, i would leave her in a heartbeat. thats how much love and respect i still have for you, even though you have put me through so much. you dont have a child with someone and not want to be with that person, its the ultimate sign of love and care and respect. take care of yourself sweety, i miss you horribly and ill love you forever. please take this time to work on yourself, and honestly if u need anything, feel free to email me and i will be there for you. its just so hard for me right now, you have no idea what ive been feeling or going through. im not leaving you to raise this kid on your own. im just not going to sit here and wait and support you while you abuse me anymore, especially since you threaten me all the time. God Bless, i pray and hope for the best for you."
whichwayisup Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 If this baby is yours, fight for full custody. She is unstable and seem not to be fit for being a mom. Atleast right now.. Make sure you have everything down and documented, speak to anybody who has witnessed her behaviour and if this can go to Court, then they can help you. 1
jarbob Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I know it must be an extremely stressful time for her, knowing she is going to have a baby. Do you think that she might go to see a counselor if you paid for it? I bet there are free services like that for women who are pregnant. Was she this emotionally disturbed before the pregnancy? It's good that you are letting her know that you are there for her. She seems so angry just generally. Could this be the hormones or do you think it's more?
jarbob Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I found some of Downtown's posts about Borderline personality disorder, see his comments below on the threat. I think my wife may have it as well as your girlfriend. I know it may not really help things immediately but it may help you understand her better. It is already helping me. I will find some more of the links that I saw, if you think that sounds like her. Again, best of luck to you. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/275289-crazy-i-think-but-i-love-her-anyway#post3398735
jarbob Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/278851-i-just-could-not-do-anymore#post3414133
Author Sad Cupid Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 thanks for responding everyone! im reading downtowns posts right now, thanks again and stay smiling!
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