PrettyMissy Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 So a couple of weeks ago, this boy, whom I am friends with on facebook, starts liking a few of my statuses. I noticed that this boy went to my high school. I am a junior in high school right now, and he graduated last year. I saw him a few times last year but we never really met each other. He’s really cute so I decided to message him asking if I knew him. From there we had a nice little discussion and he gave me his number and told me to text him whenever. I didn’t want to seem desperate so I didn’t plan to text him the following day, but he texted me. So we had another good conversation. He even told me that he would take me out to see a Heat game one of these days. We texted the whole night too it was amazing. He seemed cool, we had a lot in common – but keep in mind we havn’t actually met yet. The next day, I was going to text him this time but he texts me before I could hahaa. It was getting really late and we were still texting each other and then he finally asks when are we going to hang out. I told him tomorrow would be great. So the next day we meet up, he bought dinner and we got to know each other some more. He was everything I’d hoped he be in person. Cute, polite, and funny. After dinner, we took a walk in the park. I’d hoped that something special would’ve happen then but nothing really happened. We just talked and kind of flirted a bit. But nothing really went on. When he drove me home, he reminded me that he could take me to the Heat game on Tuesday in 3 weeks. So since that first date we’ve been texting regularly, until he reminds me that the game is in a week and was seeing if I could still go. I said I was so sorry I couldn’t because I had work that day. He said it was fine, no big deal. A couple days goes by and we havnt texted each other so I decieded to text him to see whats up. He then asks me when can he stop by where I work, because earlier I told him he should definitely come visit some day. The problem is, we have a new employee that I have an awful crush on also. I didn’t want both these guys around me, it would be very awkward! I didn’t want to say he couldn’t visit me at work, so I decided to not respond at all. It’s been a month since that conversation and we havn’t texted each other since . I’m too scared to text him because I don’t know if he’s going to be mad at me or something. Is it too late to try and pick off from where we left off because the guy I work with, who I HAD a crush on, now has a girlfriend. Does anyone here think it’s even worth trying to connect back with this guy (not my co-worker) or should I just leave him altogether?
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Well that's pretty messed up...you went through all of that with this guy and got to know him and thought he was great in person only to pass over him for some random guy at work? I guess this is the "teeniebopper" mentality, but that guy seemed like he had real interest and put in effort, doesn't mean you should be all over him which is great because at your age you're usually easily impressed and interested in a guy. But on the other hand you could have scheduled a day off of work because he gave you plenty of time to schedule (I know I know you're young, not the most responsible person in the world) but you could have switched days or tried to make the day off If you really wanted to go? Sounds like a cool/fun trip he was willing to take you on, most guys make empty promises that they never intend to keep only to impress you. I don't think you should bother with this guy anymore, you're not really mature about this and plus you already burned the guy when he was trying to put in the effort....granted he's older (automatic distrust for me) but since he didn't try to make a move I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on that one. At your age you shouldn't be taking anything serious anyway, you really don't need "love" advice since you've got plenty of time for that in your future but out of respect for the guy I'd let him be and find someone you can "play around" with and be all immature like with...I think it would kind of be a slap in the face for him IF you just try and reconnect like nothing happened especially since you did it for some guy at work that only you stopped being interested in because he has a gf. If I was him I wouldn't even respond to you. Just try and get a feel for what you want and what you're looking for, be a little more decisive with who you like and kind of invest in one thing at a time instead of bouncing around between crushes and guys you like and just taking anyone for granted when they do something nice for you and actually take their time and put effort. I'm sure you'll be crushing on a new guy pretty soon 1
TaraMaiden Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 you made your choice. don't treat him like a fall-back guy. Just text him to see how he is, and what he's up to. but you closed this off, so he was probably puzzled about that - so don't expect red-carpet treatment....
Dust Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Yes its worth a try and will probably work if you just send him a txt. I wouldn't bring up ignoring him. I mean I'm sure it hurt his ego but he should have just assumed you didn't get the msg or your response didn't come through. If he knew where you worked he should have just showed up thats how us creeps do it! There seems to be a slew of High Schoolers posting here lately. This is my third HS thread this morning. First was the girl being emotionaly black mailed by her bf... then the guy who just broke up with his gf and was going on spring break and liked a new girl... now this!
JoeyArnold Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 If he cares about you then he will understand. Be honest with him. Tell him everything.
Author PrettyMissy Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 If he cares about you then he will understand. Be honest with him. Tell him everything. Should I wait for him to ask what happened?? Also, I'm afraid that he has moved on to other girls because I know how quickly guys swap from one girl to the next super fast. Especially College guys :/ ...
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Should I wait for him to ask what happened?? Also, I'm afraid that he has moved on to other girls because I know how quickly guys swap from one girl to the next super fast. Especially College guys :/ ... This guy sounded like he really liked you, I wouldn't be surprised If he does get back to you after a while. A guy isn't going to want to visit you at your work and get involved in your life and make plans with you unless you're one hot piece of @ss. So in that regard, no I don't think he will move on. Plus don't over-estimate the abilities of college guys, they're not all capable as they make themselves out to be. You as woman will always have way more ability and options than men. I just think you burned a bridge, you put a gap in the contact...you pulled away, now he might come back with less respect in mind for you, this time he might just be after one thing for a sort of vindication. You cut the guy off for a month when you guys invested in getting to know each other? And he invited you to a game and to visit you at work, you don't think this guy will be a little ticked off? you think he'll just forget about that? If he is, he's too nice of a guy to me and he'll just burn himself out of this situation and you'll still get the best of him in the end. But now I would expect him to be jerk now being put on the backburner...will he say "oh that's ok, np" that's what everyone says because they don't typically want to be honest with you...but I doubt he will just let it go like it didn't change things...one day you're hot then the next you're cold for a month? That's going to make a guy go from this to this : /..what a b!tch, especially If he really liked you.
JoeyArnold Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Should I wait for him to ask what happened?? Also, I'm afraid that he has moved on to other girls because I know how quickly guys swap from one girl to the next super fast. Especially College guys :/ ... If he is really interested then he is still thinking about you & is being patient waiting for you for when you are ready. He should be smart enough to know that life happens & things happen & I think he would understand if you told him of your conflict. It would show him that you chose him over another guy which flatters & shows him that you really do care about him.
Dust Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 If he cares about you then he will understand. Be honest with him. Tell him everything. I wouldn't be honest. Who wants to hear about some other guy she liked and how her thought process was to just ignore him. Better to just not mention and if he brings it up just say "I shouldn't have done that." No great explenation needed. Should I wait for him to ask what happened?? Also, I'm afraid that he has moved on to other girls because I know how quickly guys swap from one girl to the next super fast. Especially College guys :/ ... I wouldn't bring it up... he's in college? hmmm Look if you like him just send him some quick txt with a question or call him. Stop overthinking this stuff.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 He asked yhou out four times but you turned him down on three... a guy would be crazy to go after you and risk another rejection. You seem to think he'll be around most of the timebut you're being really immature here. 1
Emilia Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I would contact him if I were you just out of curiousity but if I were him, I would tell you to get lost. It's exactly what I did to someone who tried to pull the same game on me a few months ago.
Author PrettyMissy Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 one day you're hot then the next you're cold for a month? That's going to make a guy go from this to this : /..what a b!tch, especially If he really liked you. do guys really take it that hard? a month isn't that much of a long time, and maybe he would assume that I was just really busy with school and work, you think I should tell him that? He asked yhou out four times but you turned him down on three... a guy would be crazy to go after you and risk another rejection. You seem to think he'll be around most of the timebut you're being really immature here. Why are people saying I'm being immature here? I know, it wasn't very nice to cut him off for a month, but I was hoping he would contact me instead maybe asking something funny like, "Are you alive???" And everyone here is saying that he really like me and all that, in that case how would you know he wasn't just being friendly because when we were out on our first date he didn't make any moves at all. I was expecting at least a kiss, but none of that happened! :/
John Tucker Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 If I was the guy I would tell you TO GET OUTTA HERE!!! No, seriously I really would. But that's just me, maybe this guy is more forgiving than I am, or maybe he isn't. But regardless, I think you've done him dirty that fact that you just flaked on him with the 1) Heat game (why on earth would you skip that opportunity, are you crazy smh) and 2) him visiting work. Who cares if it would be awkward - he doesn't know your into another dude!!! sigh...this is why men have turned into the *******s we are, because of girls like you.
JoeyArnold Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 He didn't make any moves at all. I know guys who are married that didn't kiss on the first date. Some guys are more patient, subtle, cautious, when pursuing girls. I know I am. I value friendship, honesty, the truth, above illusions. Most guys I know want to know what is really going on. We don't want sugar-coated lies. Most people understand that things like this happens all of the time. I know that I've done this & I've heard of girls in these kinds of situations. You are not in a totally unique situation. Things like this happens. Don't think you're the only one who has ever been split between two guys. Don't think you did something horrible. If I was that guy, I would rather you tell me what really happened. But if you don't then how am I suppose to ever trust you? Once you start lying you will have to continue to lie for the rest of your life.
lulu1985 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Just be honest with him and tell him how you feel and as for him not making a move well that could of been because he really liked you and was scared to make a move that you might thing that he is going to fast, he probably wanted to take it slow and start off as friends and move from there. I would text him... it is so hard to find a good guy out there so jump on that. communication is key.
John Tucker Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 If I was that guy, I would rather you tell me what really happened. But if you don't then how am I suppose to ever trust you? Once you start lying you will have to continue to lie for the rest of your life. That's only going by if the guy is still interested in her after A MONTH of no communication. She basically went ghost on him. I think OP is worried that he got over her, which any guy should, and that she doesn't want to make herself seem like a fool.
JoeyArnold Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 That's only going by if the guy is still interested in her after A MONTH of no communication. She won't know if she doesn't try. It is better to be honest than scared of failure or rejection. I'm the kind of guy who will wait as long as I must for the right girl. If a guy really likes a girl then he is not going to just move onto another girl. Some guys have patience & will even wait years & years for the right girl to come back to him. My mother actually finally married her high school BF when they were both almost 60 years old, just several years ago. True love waits.
Author PrettyMissy Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 She won't know if she doesn't try. It is better to be honest than scared of failure or rejection. I'm the kind of guy who will wait as long as I must for the right girl. If a guy really likes a girl then he is not going to just move onto another girl. Some guys have patience & will even wait years & years for the right girl to come back to him. My mother actually finally married her high school BF when they were both almost 60 years old, just several years ago. True love waits. awww thats sweet for your mom but I'm hoping this guy is like you, but things aren't looking too good. I asked my friend, who is pretty good friends with the guy and I asked him to ask him what he thought of me, and his response was that the guy doesn't even know who I am
JoeyArnold Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 The guy doesn't even know who I am.Strongly doubt that he could forget about you. If he doesn't remember you then he either wasn't or isn't interested in you anymore or ever. Either way, if I were you, I would want to confront him & find out exactly how he feels: if he no longer cares for you then I would slap him & walk away for good. Yet, I believe that he lied & does remember you but is undecided because he is not sure if you're going to come back to him or not. I'm betting that he is waiting for you. If he is not waiting for you then he's a jerk, I think.
John Tucker Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 OP your reallyyy sexy just wanted to point that out
JoeyArnold Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 OP your reallyyy sexy just wanted to point that out. In other words, why would anybody forget about you?
ScreamingTrees Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Should I wait for him to ask what happened?? Also, I'm afraid that he has moved on to other girls because I know how quickly guys swap from one girl to the next super fast. Especially College guys :/ ... Not all guys are like that, unless you're just projecting your own mindset onto others. I guess younger people see each other more or less as disposable, unfortunately.. You're 16? Contemplating dating guys in their 20s? As someone who's approaching 20, I wouldn't be interested in someone that young. Maybe some other guys are into barely legal, easily manipulated girls. While the chances are still slim that a lot of girls are somewhat mature in their early 20s, the chances are better than they are at 16.. I'll take my chances with the 23 year old, even if it's not much better.
ScreamingTrees Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 OP your reallyyy sexy just wanted to point that out Yes, bleached blondes with fake spray tans are very elegant looking.
Dust Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Not all guys are like that, unless you're just projecting your own mindset onto others. I guess younger people see each other more or less as disposable, unfortunately.. You're 16? Contemplating dating guys in their 20s? As someone who's approaching 20, I wouldn't be interested in someone that young. Maybe some other guys are into barely legal, easily manipulated girls. While the chances are still slim that a lot of girls are somewhat mature in their early 20s, the chances are better than they are at 16.. I'll take my chances with the 23 year old, even if it's not much better. Is 16 considered legal where you are? If it is I would totaly hit it if I were you mr 19 almost 20. Don't be so crazy... if it is ilegal though jail bait is no joke!
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