maysj18 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I've seen threads referring to how sexual inexperience is a turn off, because nobody wants to be "first" because of the responsibility issue, etc. Does that mostly depend on how the person acts sexually? Do you all agree that if someone comes off sexually confident and assertive that the inexperience aspect won't be an issue? Or is it pretty cut and dry for some of you?
wwwjd Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Nobody wants to be first? So it has come to that has it?? (le sigh) I thought sex was supposed to be kinda special tween two people, not something to comparison shop with. But that's just me. For my perspective on your question, I'm not normal so take it with a grain of salt.... In my world, NORMALLY, this question would never exist. It would be something that grew naturally tween two people as a brand new experience to both of them, then gradually grew together in it. It would never be is he/she better or worse or not knowing or knowing too much because there is love and desire to please and no one else in the equasion. But in this real world, again TO ME, I feel in-experience would be fantastic. If too much experience is the problem, as long as SHE was able to keep it in temperment with my perception of her, it would be fine. Um, what was the question again?
Dust Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 First off let me say this I WOULD LOVE TO GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE! The thought of a virgin girl, or an inexperienced girl is something that excites me! At the same time to come across a girl who does have experience excites me too! No matter how experienced the girl you can always find something they havn't done yet! 1
oaks Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 It's not a problem for me so long as the woman isn't going to say "I'm not ready to have sex and won't be any time soon." I'm celibate when I'm single, so I don't particularly want to be celibate in a relationship as well!
Andy_K Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I would be reluctant to get into a relationship with a girl who's a virgin because she'll have no sexual benchmark to realise how awesome I am compared to other men.
oaks Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I would be reluctant to get into a relationship with a girl who's a virgin because she'll have no sexual benchmark to realise how awesome I am compared to other men. And you're worried that she'll realise that you're the worst she's ever had? 1
gotye Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 hmmmm, I dunno... I also expect it to be different with guys and girls
somedude81 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 hmmmm, I dunno... I also expect it to be different with guys and girls Which is exactly why I asked if the OP meant men or women. Mostly, inexperienced women are seen as pure and ideal. While, inexperienced men are often seen as undesirable.
ThaWholigan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I've seen threads referring to how sexual inexperience is a turn off, because nobody wants to be "first" because of the responsibility issue, etc. Does that mostly depend on how the person acts sexually? Do you all agree that if someone comes off sexually confident and assertive that the inexperience aspect won't be an issue? Or is it pretty cut and dry for some of you? It's a turn off for some men, but in my observations it's more of a turn off to women. I'd imagine if a man is inexperienced, he's unlikely to be sexually confident and assertive. As a result, women will tend to gravitate away from them. It's happened to me many times in my life and I'm only now just starting to negate that effect. But you're right, virgin/inexperienced or not, a man or indeed woman who is assertive about their sexuality will tend to attract partners. As for women, their challenge is probably slightly different. Even if they lack a certain level of sexual assertiveness, they will probably attract partners despite their inexperience. Will probably depend on how they carry themselves in terms of attractiveness rather than confidence, but men won't really care if they lack experience. Perhaps a woman's challenge is sifting through the legions of men they don't want to find the ones they do. And yes, sometimes, they DO indeed have a lack of prospective partners to choose from.
irin Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 god these threads make me angry, virginity is nothing to be ashamed of. im very proud of it, and i plan to stay a virgin for a very long time.
Ross MwcFan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 god these threads make me angry, virginity is nothing to be ashamed of. im very proud of it, and i plan to stay a virgin for a very long time. What if it's not by choice?
irin Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 What if it's not by choice? still it just means you havent had your moment yet! nothing to be ashamed of. male or female, as for the guys go theres always the option of sexworkers, and if you have refused that and managed to stay away from it. then great!
LexiB Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 In the case of late bloomers (as opposed to people who've chosen to "save themselves"), inexperience never has to be an issue because it never *has* to come up. I've noticed many late bloomers seem to feel obligated to disclose their virgin-status to a new SO. Why??? This may be an important conversation to have as a teenager, but not when you're in your 20s 30s and beyond. By that age, you surely understand how sex works and don't need a partner to guide you through the experience, so why bring it up at all before hand? Sharing that information early on is only likely to place unnecessary pressure on the both of you. Instead, just go for it! If you want to let them know afterwards, fine, but there's just no need to do it before then.
gaius Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 still it just means you havent had your moment yet! At the age of 34 you've had your moment (unless your a hermit), you just didn't take it for some reason. I remember the most vile dude I ever knew, he worked at sonic and had anger management issues. He would fly off the handle all the time for no reason, was ugly, overweight, wasn't fun to talk to. He just had nothing at all going for him. Eventually he ended up meeting this 16 year girl online (he was in his 20's) and nagged his friend into driving him across country (since he didn't have a car) just so he could hang out with her for a few days and have a shot at getting laid. That's a normal guy, taking full advantage of whatever chance you get. If you're in your 30's and still telling women that you're a virgin without serious prodding then you're deliberately sabotaging yourself. You don't really want sex even if you think you do, and women would just be wasting their time trying to get involved with you. Male friends would be wasting their time trying to get you hooked up. It would be better just to sit down with a therapist and try to explore why you have these issues and if there was any hope to resolve them.
somedude81 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 still it just means you havent had your moment yet! nothing to be ashamed of. male or female, as for the guys go theres always the option of sexworkers, and if you have refused that and managed to stay away from it. then great! Many men do not consider prostitutes to be an option. What you are not understanding is that for men, something is seen as wrong with him when he is a virgin, simply because a man traditionally had to be the aggressor in finding sex. Women have the passive role and can just sit around while they pick and chose which men they want to have sex with.
irin Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Many men do not consider prostitutes to be an option. What you are not understanding is that for men, something is seen as wrong with him when he is a virgin, simply because a man traditionally had to be the aggressor in finding sex. Women have the passive role and can just sit around while they pick and chose which men they want to have sex with. i do understand it, i just have a see it differently to everyone around me. i mean from the all the threads ls. i learned enough, i just dont view it the same as everyone else, i dont think aggression has to have anything with a mans sexuality, im against todays society that tell us, if we are not sexually active by a certain age then there must be something wrong with us. that we are abnormal or need therapy like that guy stated before you.
wwwjd Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 i do understand it, i just have a see it differently to everyone around me. i mean from the all the threads ls. i learned enough, i just dont view it the same as everyone else, i dont think aggression has to have anything with a mans sexuality, im against todays society that tell us, if we are not sexually active by a certain age then there must be something wrong with us. that we are abnormal or need therapy like that guy stated before you. I completely agree with you on this. But there is no reason for you to get upset over internet threads about it. Others are different, and we can't help them now.
Author maysj18 Posted April 3, 2012 Author Posted April 3, 2012 I dont find male virginity to be a turn off as long as he's sexually confident. I was my exes first everything (aside from sex, im still a virgin) when we began dating and he was the best lover I've ever had. We didnt end up having sex because he's celibate until marriage (except blowjobs are okay? -__- that's a whole other story). Anyways, point being is that regardless of experience, he was great because he wanted me.and went after it. I've been with other guys who were very experienced, but it wasn't half as seducing or hot. I say it depends on the person 100%.
Feelin Frisky Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Depends on so many things. I've never popped a cherry and am pretty sure I missed that boat a long time ago. I've never been the type to impose myself on anyone so I can't see myself even hypothetically as say even a teenager trying to influence someone to have sex with me who might have an emotional meltdown if something embarrassing happened. Most girls i hung out with or around when I was a teen were already well-cracked.
wwwjd Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 regardless of experience, he was great because he wanted me. That's the secret key to all of this. Do you want SEX or THE PERSON? Sex is sex, but a great PERSON then adding sex, well everything is 10 times better in life. Is that what you mean?
Beetleguise Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 When i lost my V, the girl (Older and experienced) didnt have a clue. Said i was amazing (I actually told her like 7 months later and she didnt beleive me) "Wicked tongue apparently" lool Beetleguise 1 - 0 Inexperience
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