Went back to work today...first time i've seen my ex gf since we broke up 2 months ag

[WomenAreNuts]

What's up everyone,

As some of you know my girlfriend and I broke up two months ago. We met at work last year, dated for three months, broke up for six months, got back together for three months and broke up this past april. I haven't spoken to her or seen here since a few days before our breakup. Last time we broke up we stayed in contact, she'd call once a week, and we got back together six months later after I returned to work. This time though she hasn't contacted me once and i haven't contacted her at all either. Well I went back to work today for a one hour meeting. I was walking with a friend when she walked by with a girlfriend of hers. She said hi by saying "what's up XXXX" and I simply said "hey, what's up"....that was it. I haven't seen or talked to her in two months and i haven't stopped thinking about her. I wanted to talk to her but it wasn't the time or place. I just found it sh#tty that all we said to eachother was "what's up" and not even wait for a response while walking by eachother. Do you think it's because coworkers were around us? Should I have reacted differently than the monotone "what's up' I said to her?The meeting was in regards to me coming back to work at the company and I think i'll most likely be going back. I'm not going back to work to get back with her...i have many friends and colleagues at the company. But last time I went back to the company after some time off we got back together. How should I act? It's so hard to pretend to be "happy, moved on" and what not when i truly haven't done so. I just hope it won't be weird at work. I truly care about this girl. Even though i know we would never work out in the long run, I still have this longing to be back with her. I don't know...any advice..info..suggestions would be so appreciated.

[johan]

Man, that's going to be torture. Are you SURE you want to work there? Don't underestimate it, it's going to SUCK.

[WomenAreNuts]

Originally posted by johan

Man, that's going to be torture. Are you SURE you want to work there? Don't underestimate it, it's going to SUCK.

 

I guess a part of me wants to go back to work to try and get back together with her..like i did last time. Last time we got back together we were working in hawaii for two months...maybe the island had something to do with us getting back together..i don't know. So you think it's going to be torture? That really sucks..i hope not.

[oversensitivemjf]

I work with my ex, and yes, it does suck.

 

However if you feel you can get back with this girl, maybe worth a shot?

If you love her.

 

I know I have no chance with my ex, I just wanna get as far away as possible!!

[WomenAreNuts]

Originally posted by oversensitivemjf

I work with my ex, and yes, it does suck.

 

However if you feel you can get back with this girl, maybe worth a shot?

If you love her.

 

I know I have no chance with my ex, I just wanna get as far away as possible!!

 

over,

why do you say you have no chance?

[oversensitivemjf]

Basically I can just tell by the way she speaks to me.

It's heartbreaking, but there just seems to be nothing there, in her eyes etc. when she looks at me.

 

I guess I blew it, as when we broke up, she needed space, but I did'nt give it to her.

We both became 'different' people, I was the jealous/obsessive ex, she was the strong, defensive one who made the decision.

 

Also, I hear she is dating another member of staff, and that cuts deep.

 

I need to move on, but it is so hard when faced with her everyday.

[WomenAreNuts]

Originally posted by oversensitivemjf

Basically I can just tell by the way she speaks to me.

It's heartbreaking, but there just seems to be nothing there, in her eyes etc. when she looks at me.

 

I guess I blew it, as when we broke up, she needed space, but I did'nt give it to her.

We both became 'different' people, I was the jealous/obsessive ex, she was the strong, defensive one who made the decision.

 

Also, I hear she is dating another member of staff, and that cuts deep.

 

I need to move on, but it is so hard when faced with her everyday.

 

why did you guys break up? How long did you date? What do you mean by you didn't give her space? Did you keep calling her etc?

[oversensitivemjf]

We dated for 7 months-ish.

But we spent almost every day together, and we took it very seriously.

 

We have been broken up for 3 months now.

 

And yeah, I kept calling her.

Bad move

[asilisa]

WomenAreNuts:

 

I kinda feel the same way when it comes to my ex. I wanna be with him but I know it won't last long term. I'm glad someone else feels this was because sometimes I think I'm crazy. But this time I am pretty sure it is over. I'm feelin' all right I guess.

[LucyLoo]

I went out with my ex for over a year - we worked together and saw each other every day, it was the best time of my life. Then I found out he was cheating and we broke up. I thought I would die the pain was so great, and the worst part was having to see him at work every day. It was ten times harder to stay away, and I ended up sleeping with him a few times at after work drinks, which wouldn't have happened if we had time apart and I had a chance to heal properly.

 

Well it's 3 months on now and although the hurt is starting to fade away, it still rips my heart out to see him leave work every day knowing he is going home to this other woman. The fact is, working with your ex SUCKS HARD. It is distracting and an emotional rollercoaster. However, it does get easier - with time. It is lucky that you have had this time away from each other to get some perspective.

 

My only advice would be to avoid getting in one-on-one situations, no matter how much you want to. Keeping your distance will be torture but believe me, it is better than rehashing the relationship when you know that it won't work out. The more you pretend to be "happy, moved on" the more you will start to feel that way. I walk past my ex's office with a smile on my face and my head held high, even when I feel so depressed about it that I want to die. There's no avoiding the fact that it's going to hurt seeing your ex around the office. But you have to get yourself into the mindset that it's over, and move towards a friendship with her only when all of the old lust and romantic feelings have died away. I wish you the best of luck, keep me updated!