betterdeal Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Why, because he's a handsome French model? And handsome French models don't want relationships and only play the field? Because one swallow does not a summer make. I agree with you that men are ripped a new one on this site if they turn up, say they boned someone and are now bored of them, and Kamille is either a huge wind up merchant or demonstrating a perfect example of selective dissonance to suggest that isn't the reaction men get on this site. 1
EasyHeart Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Why, because he's a handsome French model? And handsome French models don't want relationships and only play the field?No, it's because he's French. It's not like he's a human being or something.
Kamille Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Because one swallow does not a summer make. I agree with you that men are ripped a new one on this site if they turn up, say they boned someone and are now bored of them, and Kamille is either a huge wind up merchant or demonstrating a perfect example of selective dissonance to suggest that isn't the reaction men get on this site. Show a thread BD, and I'll gladly analyze the responses.
somedude81 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Why, because he's a handsome French model? And handsome French models don't want relationships and only play the field? I'd say there is a 75% chance. Especially somebody who is that age and able to fu*k pretty much who ever he wants.
betterdeal Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Show a thread BD, and I'll gladly analyze the responses. The search facility is to the top right of the screen. 1
Kamille Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 The search facility is to the top right of the screen. Better luck next time betterdeal.
johan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 The search facility is to the top right of the screen. I've only seen men take any major heat if they show up and brag about it. Why you would go after Kamille, I don't know. If no examples come to mind, maybe it doesn't happen very much. I don't think it make sense for her to do the research to prove your point.
betterdeal Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I don't even know what to say to that. Do you go around and have sex with women, only to break their heart, then tell them afterwards: "Well baby, one swallow does not make a summer." No, that's not the way to go about things. That type of behavior ends up hurting people. Two people had a couple of dates, then they had sex and one of them is a bit meh about it. They barely know each others' names, let alone have a connection or any shared history in which to grow any form of meaningful love. This is splash and dash, mindless, meaningless, filling a void, scratching an itch, superficial, possibly distasteful, but one thing it can't be is heartbreak material. 1
betterdeal Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I've only seen men take any major heat if they show up and brag about it. Thanks for agreeing with me. Why you would go after Kamille, I don't know. If no examples come to mind, maybe it doesn't happen very much. I don't think it make sense for her to do the research to prove your point. Fascinating. Thanks for sharing.
PlumPrincess Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Why, because he's a handsome French model? And handsome French models don't want relationships and only play the field? I'm completely and utterly convinced that that's the case.
somedude81 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 So when a guy is in his 20's and handsome, then that suddenly justifies a woman to merely see him as a toy, have sex with him and then throw him in a corner once she's done playing? All the while she has been keeping the fact that she has no feelings for him silent? No no...that is deception. Whichever way you turn it. LOL, I'm hardly going to be an advocate for casual sex.
snug.bunny Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I disagree. You don't give someone a certain impression, sleep with them, and THEN decide to be upfront with them once the damage has (potentially) been done. My issue with this is that if she knew she was only going to use him for sex, because she knew she didn't feel an emotional connection with him, then she should have been upfront beforehand about the fact that she only wanted sex. Otherwise it's deception. Just because this guy is a handsome French model, doesn't mean he's just a toy you can throw in the corner once you're done playing with him. He a human being. I think agreeing to meet his friends and spending time with them, especially, may give off the wrong impression. But, he's also giving off the wrong impression too by doing that. If she continues to partake in extra-curricular activities without saying anything like --- I thought this was just casual sex --- any drama that ensues as a result becomes her own doing. Same goes for him. When I think of casual sex, I think of leaving immediately afterwards. Not spending the next day together, discussing future plans outside of the bedroom, meeting each others friends and/or communicating with each other following the coitus as if you're in a relationship. I also don't think there is (or should be for that matter) analyzing and/or evaluation of the other person. Two people (pardon my language) f*cked, what else is there to analyze? Except, that maybe it left one person feeling a bit empty, because it was, just that. Some can appreciate the night for what it was/is, a night of physical animalistic coitus, others can't and/or struggle too and decide it's not for them and/or not something they prefer to regularly engage in.
kaylan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 (edited) hmmm...same thing happened to me...the (empirically)hottest girl I was with, the sex was good but not great. It was less than what I expected although I had fun. But with my ex, I was more attracted to her even tho she wasnt the hottest chick based on what most would think. Our sexual chemistry was ridiculous though. Emotions will do that. So I feel you OP. Edited April 1, 2012 by kaylan
reallyhotguy Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I think my new girlfriend is about to dump me. We had an amazing weekend but I think she's looking for someone who is as weird as she is. Whatever, I'll live. 1
kaylan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 (edited) **But but**, your weekends would be "eaten up" with sex. I thought that's what you wanted, no/yes? Hot sweaty sex! Of course no amount of "hotness" will make up for an emotional/intellectual connection/bond. That is why casual sex, IS empty. A "relationship" that lacks genuine mutual intimacy, is empty, period. I would caution not to get your lines crossed with this fella, spending time with each other outside of the bedroom, can certainly blur the lines and if you continue to do so it will most likely invite drama into the scenario and won't help you heal (given you ARE still healing from your last relationship ending not to long ago). That's my "motherly" advice for the day. Congratulations on the sex. Id say it depends on the person if casual fun will be empty or not. It wont always be empty depending on the people involved, the connection they have, and the expectations they also have.models are overrated i had a friend who was a former model, she was the most insecure person ive known, she looked down people, always criticizing everyone's weight around her, she was obsessed with her very short lived modelling days and frankly was left damaged by the industry. I have an old friend from high school who modeled for a bit. Hes not like how you described your friend, and he says the personalities of the girls he meets in the industry can vary. So I wouldnt put them all under one umbrella. Even though there are many models who act like your friend did, not all of them do.So when a guy is in his 20's and handsome, then that suddenly justifies a woman to merely see him as a toy, have sex with him and then throw him in a corner once she's done playing? All the while she has been keeping the fact that she has no feelings for him silent? No no...that is deception. Whichever way you turn it. And I have to agree with this and everything Heart of a Lion has said in this thread. Guys get murdered by posters on this forum when they do similar things like the OP. If an older guy came in here talking about his younger hot model date, and was looking for hi fives, the women here would scoff at him and roll their eyes. And if he then slept with her and then decided to break it off after one night together, hed be strung up by his boots and given the business twice over by many posters here. If people here cannot see the plain as day double standard that exists on this forum when men and women are used for sex, then they are blind. Guys do receive some sympathy when they post about feeling used for sex on this forum, but definitely not as much sympathy as the women who post the same thing. Edited April 1, 2012 by kaylan
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I think my new girlfriend is about to dump me. We had an amazing weekend but I think she's looking for someone who is as weird as she is. Whatever, I'll live. But … what about reallyhotbaby?
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Because one swallow does not a summer make. . She SWALLOWED? 1
zengirl Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 I disagree. You don't give someone a certain impression, sleep with them, and THEN decide to be upfront with them once the damage has (potentially) been done. My issue with this is that if she knew she was only going to use him for sex, because she knew she didn't feel an emotional connection with him, then she should have been upfront beforehand about the fact that she only wanted sex. Otherwise it's deception. Just because this guy is a handsome French model, doesn't mean he's just a toy you can throw in the corner once you're done playing with him. He a human being. This is probably the standard I'd live by, and I don't disagree. However, better to be honest now than never, no? At any rate, I do agree that we can perhaps challenge ES's assumption that he won't mind very much (I mean, odds are, he probably won't, based on her description, but he might and he's entitled to certainly) but I wouldn't run her through the ringer for it because she was likely acting on the assumption that he was after something casual anyway. It's a biased assumption -- based on his age and hotness and modelness and Frenchness and so forth -- true, but she wasn't given some indication he was falling for her or anything, which would make her actions abhorrent. As it is, they're potentially mildly inconsiderate. So, on the scale of things, not that big a deal. Sex that quickly and without any indication towards the future is generally not indicative of anything serious, and most people understand that. It wouldn't hurt to honestly say it rather than assume it, but, as Kamille said, the onus is usually on those of us who know we want something real to state that from the beginning. The ones I really get angry with are those who KNOW the person they're using wants something real.
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