Eternal Sunshine Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Few of you have asked me what happened. Well, we went out on Friday night for dinner and went to watch jazz at a club afterwards. The only really exciting parts of the night were when he was physically touching me because he is sooo hot I slept over at his place (yep ) We spent most of the Saturday together too, I even met some of his friends. BUT I felt like we have absolutely nothing in common. He is 25 and just too immature for me. I was really bored by the conversation (he talks about cars and getting drunk a lot). Also - his friends - it's like we are from 2 different worlds. Opposites do not attract as far as I am concerned. Sex was good but not great. I have realized that no amount of hotness will make up for the lack of emotional/intellectual connection. He knows exactly what he is doing sex-wise though and he is the hottest guy I have ever been with. He texted me today. I will have to put a breaks on. I would be fine with seeing him casually (once a fortnight or so) - I just don't want to have my weekends eaten up by someone I am not that into. I will be upfront with him (I am sure he will live ). I just feel a bit empty :/
Star Gazer Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Empty sex can do that to you... make you feel empty. But it sounds like you've got a good emotional hold on the situation. 2
tigressA Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Seems like you see it for what it is and that you're handling it well. Looks do count for a lot...but not everything. Glad you had a good time!
johan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Maybe he's just not rich enough to make you feel that special connection? I'm just anticipating the feedback you might be getting on this.
somedude81 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Maybe he's just not rich enough to make you feel that special connection? I'm just anticipating the feedback you might be getting on this. Oh, I got several of them running through my head. I'll just leave it with this I felt like we have absolutely nothing in common. He is 25 and just too immature for me. I was really bored by the conversation (he talks about cars and getting drunk a lot). Also - his friends - it's like we are from 2 different worlds. Opposites do not attract as far as I am concerned. I slept over at his place (yep )Sigh...
johan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Oh, I got several of them running through my head. I'll just leave it with this Sigh... In which thread would you like to discuss this?
somedude81 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 That's all I'm going to say, now I'll just sit back and wait to see what happens.
johan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 That's all I'm going to say, now I'll just sit back and wait to see what happens. Well there is an important point in this for you to consider. My thinking is you don't want to trade places with Mr. Model. He has no advantages over you.
gibson Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I felt like we have absolutely nothing in common. He is 25 and just too immature for me. I was really bored by the conversation (he talks about cars and getting drunk a lot). Also - his friends - it's like we are from 2 different worlds. Opposites do not attract as far as I am concerned. And you are surprised by this how?
Star Gazer Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 And you are surprised by this how? It doesn't sound like she's surprised to me. 2
johan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Yeah. I didn't see any expressions of surprise. Maybe just disappointment that a connection really isn't possible. It's probably a confirmation of what she suspected. 1
snug.bunny Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Few of you have asked me what happened. Well, we went out on Friday night for dinner and went to watch jazz at a club afterwards. The only really exciting parts of the night were when he was physically touching me because he is sooo hot I slept over at his place (yep ) We spent most of the Saturday together too, I even met some of his friends. BUT I felt like we have absolutely nothing in common. He is 25 and just too immature for me. I was really bored by the conversation (he talks about cars and getting drunk a lot). Also - his friends - it's like we are from 2 different worlds. Opposites do not attract as far as I am concerned. Sex was good but not great. I have realized that no amount of hotness will make up for the lack of emotional/intellectual connection. He knows exactly what he is doing sex-wise though and he is the hottest guy I have ever been with. He texted me today. I will have to put a breaks on. I would be fine with seeing him casually (once a fortnight or so) - I just don't want to have my weekends eaten up by someone I am not that into. I will be upfront with him (I am sure he will live ). I just feel a bit empty :/ **But but**, your weekends would be "eaten up" with sex. I thought that's what you wanted, no/yes? Hot sweaty sex! Of course no amount of "hotness" will make up for an emotional/intellectual connection/bond. That is why casual sex, IS empty. A "relationship" that lacks genuine mutual intimacy, is empty, period. I would caution not to get your lines crossed with this fella, spending time with each other outside of the bedroom, can certainly blur the lines and if you continue to do so it will most likely invite drama into the scenario and won't help you heal (given you ARE still healing from your last relationship ending not to long ago). That's my "motherly" advice for the day. Congratulations on the sex.
EasyHeart Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I think everyone on LS should bang a hot young model to show our solidarity with ES. WHO'S WITH ME??? 2
SmileFace Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I think everyone on LS should bang a hot young model to show our solidarity with ES. WHO'S WITH ME??? I am all for that
irin Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 models are overrated i had a friend who was a former model, she was the most insecure person ive known, she looked down people, always criticizing everyone's weight around her, she was obsessed with her very short lived modelling days and frankly was left damaged by the industry.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I think everyone on LS should bang a hot young model to show our solidarity with ES. WHO'S WITH ME??? I don't think they have any of those around here …
ThaWholigan Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Oh, I got several of them running through my head. I'll just leave it with this Sigh... such is life, eh??
betterdeal Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Cradle snatcher! Pervert! I'm proud of you, ES 1
Kamille Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I think everyone on LS should bang a hot young model to show our solidarity with ES. WHO'S WITH ME??? I've always stood in solidarity with ES, so I support this initiative. ES, what I would advise is that you abstain from analyzing this event too much. You 1. went on a date with a hot man, 2. didn't feel a connection, 3. had what sounds like great sex, 4. felt empty the day after (it could honestly just be the result of feeling tired ) 5. and have decided you don't have enough of a connection to want to pursue a relationship with this guy. Be upfront with him, accept that he's allowed to feel upset or whatever (but that his feelings are not your responsibility or fault) and move on. If anything, I hope this young man put the final nail in the coffin of your insecurities about your looks. Time to let that insecurity go. 1
mostlyclueless Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Sooooo what you're telling us is that this young, hot model is available? 1
Kamille Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 If it's guys doing this type of stuff they get ripped apart for it, as they should. But I think women should equally get ripped apart for that type of behavior. I disagree. When women report about a guy sleeping with them and then dumping them, the women get slagged for giving it up to early, without first knowing whether there was a form of commitment there. The general consensus is that the woman's well-being is her responsibility - and that if she's hurt it's because she let herself get carried away. I don't see why the rule would be any different when the roles are reversed. Don't remember many threads where men reported doing this kind of stuff. I think they get a mixed bag of "you shouldn't have" and "whatever man, good for you. If she gave it up that easy, she's not long term potential". 3
mostlyclueless Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 What others say or do does not make right what ES (potentially) did. Two wrongs don't make a right. I don't see any problem here. She slept with him, but HE ALSO SLEPT WITH HER. Presumably he's a responsible adult who is capable of making his own decisions and realizes this doesn't necessarily mean anything about what will happen in the future.
mostlyclueless Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 If this guy is going to conflate sex with commitment and will get his heart broken by sleeping with this girl then he should: 1. Not sleep with her on the first date 2. Have a discussion about commitment and intimacy BEFORE having sex This is the advice women have been getting since the dawn of time. Same rules apply to dudes. 1
somedude81 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I really doubt that this guy thought he was going to have a relationship with ES. It's just two people having casual sex/
Kamille Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I disagree. You don't give someone a certain impression, sleep with them, and THEN decide to be upfront with them once the damage has (potentially) been done. My issue with this is that if she knew she was only going to use him for sex, because she knew she didn't feel an emotional connection with him, then she should have been upfront beforehand about the fact that she only wanted sex. Otherwise it's deception. Just because this guy is a handsome French model, doesn't mean he's just a toy you can throw in the corner once you're done playing with him. He a human being. That's a very convincing argument. And I wish more people could be convinced to see the world that way. Since no one can rest assured that their fling is part of the morally conscious crowd, however, I feel the more realistic perspective is one that focuses on convincing people to protect themselves. Besides, we don't know whether the model will be crushed or whether he was also into a more casual relationship. Not that it's relevant anymore.
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