staringspace Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I've posted a couple of times this week about my ex moving on really quickly (2 weeks after a 3.5 year relationship) and how it's left me devastated and angry - I'm feeling a tiny bit better by distancing myself from it, but looking to the future, I feel really scared about letting someone in. After all that happened, my ex has made me lose a lot of faith in men and I'm really scared about getting hurt again. I really want to find a guy I can have fun with and spend time with, but I can't go through this kind of pain again, not any time in the near future anyway. I just don't know how to be a stronger person right now and let myself find new people and get involved - I know I need time to heal, and I'm giving myself that time (I think); but when it comes down to meeting someone that I like, I just don't know how to go about it. I'm even nervous to have sex with someone else after spending so long with one person; I'm just at a loss of what to do. Should I be feeling so nervous about this now? The only time I don't is when I'm drunk. My ex seems to have really screwed me over, especially seeing this other girl and while I want to move on, I'm just simply scared to.
robkris8079 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I will never give myself to someone like I did ever again. I will love again but as soon as I feel it's not coming back at the same level I will bring it up and have a discussion. If it continues, I will shake her hand and wish her well. But I am not scared of another relationship or falling in love again. I look forward to it as I am better equipped now.
mike588 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I've posted a couple of times this week about my ex moving on really quickly (2 weeks after a 3.5 year relationship) and how it's left me devastated and angry - I'm feeling a tiny bit better by distancing myself from it, but looking to the future, I feel really scared about letting someone in. After all that happened, my ex has made me lose a lot of faith in men and I'm really scared about getting hurt again. I really want to find a guy I can have fun with and spend time with, but I can't go through this kind of pain again, not any time in the near future anyway. I just don't know how to be a stronger person right now and let myself find new people and get involved - I know I need time to heal, and I'm giving myself that time (I think); but when it comes down to meeting someone that I like, I just don't know how to go about it. I'm even nervous to have sex with someone else after spending so long with one person; I'm just at a loss of what to do. Should I be feeling so nervous about this now? The only time I don't is when I'm drunk. My ex seems to have really screwed me over, especially seeing this other girl and while I want to move on, I'm just simply scared to. It's ok and normal to feel that way and I know how you feel. My ex. of 1 year dumped me in a very..very cruel way...betrayed me and broke my heart too. We were friends many years ago before re-connecting and I was shattered that on old friend could do that to me. That was almost 8 months ago and I felt the same way you do now. I was terrified of meeting someone else and falling in love again. Just in the past 2 months I've finally and so slowly have been ready to meet someone else but I'll take the lessons I've learned from my hurt and pain with me and be so very careful next time. You'll be ok...just a part of the healing process.
Sugarkane Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I completely feel the same way too. Like Mike I also got dumped and blindsided in a completely cruel way. That's what scares me, that someone can put on an act and just up and leave and never even talk to you ever again. Also I rebounded with someone who took advantage of my good nature and also screwed me over. So that also really put me off. That some people can really get off on hurting others and it's just a huge game to them.
Sugarkane Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I'll never give either guy a second chance no matter what. All they cared about was lying and how many notches they have on their bed post.
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