petergriffin Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 My ex girlfriend and I brokeup in November 2011. She had dumped me while I was away long distance for a few months because of my insecurities and fights I would pick. I guess I picked them because it showed she cared about me. I had a rough winter trying to get her back, with stages where we would be kissing and doing things the way we used to.. then there would be stages where she refused to kiss me, do anything, etc. The weird part about it all is that she would hangout with me every single day still throughout the winter. Towards the middle/ending of February she finally sort of committed to me again. I thought it had been a dream come true until I realized she didn't truly love me like she used to. Am I crazy or are these legitimate signs she is not interested in me... -When we walk in public she doesn't hold my arm or hand or walk basically glued to me like she used too. -We used to be bestfriends and we'd spend ours just laying on a couch bumming out together. Now our hangouts only consist of me taking her out. -Our kisses are only little pecks, and they're mostly initiated by me. -She is hanging out with any guy who will give her attention, not doing anything though but just hanging out. - Her and I constantly fight. -And the one that really shows she doesn't love me is the lack of our sex life. We've had sex twice in two months.. So basically, I realized the girl I love doesn't love me anymore and nothing hurts more than that. I do all I can and she just doesn't look at me the same. I love her so much, but yesterday I had to breakup with her because it hurt me too much. I plan on going no contact. I know it is done for good, but I can't accept it. Is there any advice anybody can give me. She was the first girl I truly loved.
2sunny Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 You picked fights because you wanted her attention? Anyone who does THAT would be out! Being mean to have someone pay attention is just completely backwards. She doesn't trust you now... How could she? IF you wanted attention - all you had to do was say so... But to pick fights over it shows your immaturity and your ability to ONLY consider your own feelings - not hers at all. And now you are still considering your own feelings - learn how to consider the other persons feelings. That is a start. Leave her alone - for a long while. She doesn't trust that you aren't gonna fight with her. Nothing about your behavior is loving.
Author petergriffin Posted March 31, 2012 Author Posted March 31, 2012 Harsh for me to hear, but I guess you are right. Thank you. Maybe it is not love if I am this selfish? It is just hard not to be selfish I wanted it to be like how it was so badly, but it never became like that.
2sunny Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 Once you broke the trust - its never the same. It's not possible... You can learn from it though, never to do that again moving forward.
Author petergriffin Posted March 31, 2012 Author Posted March 31, 2012 I know I can, do you think I drove her away for good? Do you think giving her her space will make her miss me at all or did I drive it to the point where she is just 100% sick of me. We still saw each other everyday up until yesterday when I ended it. Or is it time to just move forward and try and forget her.
2sunny Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 Get busy finding what makes you happy. That is your best plan. Try not to think of what she is or isn't doing.
Author petergriffin Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 now that my emotions have cooled, I 100% regret what I have done. I did a lot of thinking and I realized it was me driving her away with the way I had been acting. She liked a picture I posted on Facebook this morning and I sent her a text message explaining how embarassed I am for ending things like that and how I regret it. She has not answered and to be honest with myself I doubt she will. I regret ending things out of anger. For all you reading, calm downbefore you make a decision
rdb Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 (edited) now that my emotions have cooled, I 100% regret what I have done. I did a lot of thinking and I realized it was me driving her away with the way I had been acting. She liked a picture I posted on Facebook this morning and I sent her a text message explaining how embarassed I am for ending things like that and how I regret it. She has not answered and to be honest with myself I doubt she will. I regret ending things out of anger. For all you reading, calm downbefore you make a decision Dude, why would you text her that? Texting is so faceless, emotionless, and easy to do. You owe her a real face to face conversation. You cannot be scared to confront the realities of a situation. She is distant because you pushed her away when you were scared. Women want confidence. She chose to be with you because she wanted to, nothing is tying her to you right now. Everything is determined by free will. But you ended it. Everyone wants what they can't have. You made a mistake, leave her (and any other girl) alone until you improve your judgement making skills Edited April 1, 2012 by rdb
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