udolipixie Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 I think the media is mainly to blame for people expecting their unrealistic standards. Wanting it tends to be solely on the person. From my experiences/observations of the media's effect: Many gals tend to have this idealistic view of men and most of those gals get effed up by most of the men the encounter. Many gals tend to have this majority are good & minority are bad of men and most of those gals fell really hard on their face. Many gals tend to think there's some other half or perfect match out there for them. Many guys tend to feel entitled to or expect a gal who is more attractive than him. Many guys tend to feel entitled to or expect a gal they like and are attracted to date them because of his X qualities when she wants X+Y because the movies showed him that Y doesn't matter all that matters is X. Many guys tend to feel entitled to or expect a gal they find attractive to overlook what she thinks of his attractiveness because he's nice/decent/good when he wouldn't do the same. This often comes into play with many American guys talking about how foreign women are better looking & more forgiving/less shallow/more overlooking about looks than American gals. I often note how many of these same guys tend to be quite unforgiving of looks and the idea of dating a gal much less attractive than them much less one who is far less attractive than them.
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 I don't know...the guy I like right now is Thai, 5'8, grumpy and poor as hell....yet I am crushing on him to high hell. Chemistry is chemistry. Hollywood certainly didn't tell me he'd be my type! Actually, I think the media has made perfect and beautiful boring, and now I seem to seek out people that look different from that mould i.e. the big blow up lips thing is really in fashion, so I notice that I think dainty features are more endearing, inflatable boobs make me appreciate being a C and not having to deal with ankle-saggers etc 2
phineas Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 to be fair, I have acne and I have had it since age 13... have been on every medication it's mostly clear and now have scars that i use 3 different creams/treatments to help reduce but I also am considered cute to very attractive... so with all the mention of acne, would you never look at me cause of my skin problems? Doggy style & reverse cowgirl are my favorite positions. So as long as your ass looks good it's not a problem.
Jane2011 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 That's why I often prefer independent movies. Although they're not always guilt-free of unrealistic looks standards, they often enough feature a more raw/gritty (and sometimes refreshingly "physically ugly") representation of people. p.s. I was also annoyed to see the concept of friends with benefits *glorified* in No Strings Attached (Portman & Kutcher) and Friends With Benefits (Timberlake & Kunis). People falling in love with their FWB. WTF? Delude people, why don't you? 3
Imported Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 White men should be thanking Hollywood. Ever wonder why many women of any race perfer white guys over any other race, including their own?
RiverRunning Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 My ex-boyfriend once made a comment along the lines of, "A guy sending a girl flowers and asking her out is romantic and great...unless she's not interested in him or he's otherwise not attractive, in which case he's a creepy, dangerous stalker." I couldn't disagree with him. I've seen it happen time-and-time again: two men display very similar behavior and one is worshiped as a romantic hero and the other is demonized as overstepping his bounds for daring pursue a woman outside of his league. I think so much of what we're attracted to is overly dictated by status. I think a lot of women avoid dating shorter men because it's status - they don't want to seem 'manly' compared to him. I think it's the same reason why a lot of men claim they don't like or wouldn't date women who are overweight. They may well not even CARE about those things themselves, or may even like those features - but appearances in society often matter a great deal to people. It's unfortunate, but it's true. I do think this gets better with age but just from crawling around here, it's obvious that that never gets away from some people. They are ridiculously caught up in having the best of the best and feeling 'slighted' if they don't get it. God forbid they get an 8 or a 9 instead of a 10, which is their God-given right, apparently. I do a little ROFL when it's a guy complaining because his girlfriend's abs are only a LITTLE defined, and not the six pack he had hoped for. It's scary to me when anyone associated with Hollywood, artist or not, gets ripped on for gaining 5 or 10 pounds. When women who would be considered an average, normal, healthy, fit weight are demonized in the movie industry because their clothes aren't hanging off of them. My ex was pasty-skinned, two inches shorter than me and he had an obvious facial disfigurement (something children would occasionally point out while we were out in public). We started dating when I was 20. Of course for a moment back then I hesitated because I was immature and I was focused on status. But when it came down to it - I thought he was gorgeous. I really cared about him and enjoyed spending time with him. I forgot about his supposed 'defects' the moment we started dating ('forgot' as in...I hardly ever noticed because I was accustomed to it. He possibly could have gotten treatment to obscure most or all of the disfigurement. Even if he could have - I wouldn't have wanted him to). I never once, in all my time dating him or my other exes, thought: "If only he were taller/shorter/heavier/thinner/more muscular/less muscular/more handsome/less handsome." In the time that I was with them, they were gorgeous and they were god. I never had a set type. When I met a good man who was reasonably attractive and seemed like a great person, I was smitten with his looks and his personality. Then again, while I admit it's nice to look at the Hollywood-esque bodies for the fantasy...realistically I am just not that attracted to that physique. The men I fantasize about are the men I'd more likely meet in real life - fat, thin, a little muscular, a little overweight, average weight, tall, short, black, white, Asian, etc.
RedRobin Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 For those who are mystified or annoyed by media's standards, I suggest they try to find their way into some aspect of the nuts and bolts of TV, movie, etc making. You'd be amazed at what many of these stars look like IRL. I'm not saying that to trash anyone. What I'm saying is that alot of them just happen to be photogenic and have the ability to express themselves in that medium. Bradley Cooper (the one in the pop up ad) is pretty short. Eva Mendez is kinda average looking IRL and had a pimple the day they were filming near where I live. Ryan Gosling is pretty cute, but not as good looking as my ex-H. For some bizarre reason, he kept checking me out. Maybe he likes older women If you saw them IRL, it may surprise you. Just people, hangin' out. Most of them. Living in the public eye is no picnic. I don't envy them. Anyway, don't let it get ya down. If it bothers you too much, just don't buy into it. Stop buying the mags, stop going to movies... or at least the movies where that kind of thing is enhanced. Go to a play instead. Or better yet, write one and cast it with the kind of people you think would resonate. 3
Jane2011 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 For those who are mystified or annoyed by media's standards, I suggest they try to find their way into some aspect of the nuts and bolts of TV, movie, etc making. You'd be amazed at what many of these stars look like IRL. I'm not saying that to trash anyone. What I'm saying is that alot of them just happen to be photogenic and have the ability to express themselves in that medium. Bradley Cooper (the one in the pop up ad) is pretty short. Eva Mendez is kinda average looking IRL and had a pimple the day they were filming near where I live. Ryan Gosling is pretty cute, but not as good looking as my ex-H. For some bizarre reason, he kept checking me out. Maybe he likes older women If you saw them IRL, it may surprise you. Just people, hangin' out. Most of them. Living in the public eye is no picnic. I don't envy them. Anyway, don't let it get ya down. If it bothers you too much, just don't buy into it. Stop buying the mags, stop going to movies... or at least the movies where that kind of thing is enhanced. Go to a play instead. Or better yet, write one and cast it with the kind of people you think would resonate. I agree. I'm not a big envier of celebrities. I used to be, in my early 20s, but in recent years I think they're pretty lame. And they're playing roles in movie storylines -- dramas, romantic comedies, etc. that we regular people get to live in real life. I can't even think of a single celebrity male that I have a true "crush" on. Ryan Gosling's cute, as you mention; he might be one I'd have a crush on, if I had crushes, but I don't... I'm also more jealous of real-life women I know than female celebs. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Yes, yes, let's wake up, people! At this moment, the box in which I am typing is surrounded by ads -- one telling me I will be beautiful and classy if I buy these shoes and this bag, and another one telling me that if I buy this shiny new printer my business will also shine. People have been bombarded with brainwashing schemes from EVERY direction for the past 100+ years. Check out this amazing, fascinating, depressing documentary about how Freud's theories were used by governments and corporations to manipulate the masses, engineer the consumer culture, create for the first time the mass notion that we need to buy things because we want them, not because we need them, and the like: The Century of the Self. If the powers that be can convince you you're not good enough, they can very effectively separate you from your money, freedom, and happiness. And this, of course, keeps you in chains. The good news is you can free yourself through learning and resisting the lure of the machine, or working within it to free yourself and others (as I am doing). 1
Els Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Yes, yes, let's wake up, people! At this moment, the box in which I am typing is surrounded by ads -- one telling me I will be beautiful and classy if I buy these shoes and this bag, and another one telling me that if I buy this shiny new printer my business will also shine. For some reason mine is advertising hot young Asian brides at idateasia.com . I wonder which part of my search/posting history alerted the omniscient beings to the lesbian within me... 1
Ruby Slippers Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 For some reason mine is advertising hot young Asian brides at idateasia.com . I wonder which part of my search/posting history alerted the omniscient beings to the lesbian within me... Yes, I get the foreign bride ads, too. It's kind of annoying. Where are the hot pool boy ads for the up-and-coming lady entrepreneur like me? I would never click them, but it would be better eye candy for me than chicks.
Els Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Case in point here: Was Jennifer Lawrence too FAT for the Hunger Games? Male critics believe actress should have looked 'more hungry' | Mail Online In a review for The Hollywood Reporter, Todd McCarthy notes her 'lingering baby fat', while living in a poor mining region, as problematic. Seriously, that's just disgusting. The worst thing is that she's probably even a bit thinner than the normal weight for her height, which reflects a lot about the twisted attitudes of some media critics towards actresses. I would never click them: Riiiight. :lmao: 1
Badsingularity Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Case in point here: Was Jennifer Lawrence too FAT for the Hunger Games? Male critics believe actress should have looked 'more hungry' | Mail Online Seriously, that's just disgusting. :lmao: Ofcourse she is not fat. I think what they are saying is that she looks too healthy to be playing the part of someone who is supposed to be starving. Describing it as baby fat is pretty ridiculous and weird though.
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