Disoriento Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 Hello everyone. I got a problem, I cant seem to let go of my ex, I was with her for 2.2 months and it has now gone 3.5 years ago since we broke up(freaking ages ago). We broke up cus of small fights we had leading up to a point where we had a huge fight, words were thrown my girlfriend said this is it I cant take it anymore, its over so at the time I was a wreak crying mad angry frustrated. so I just told myself to get a grip, so I thought nevermind, Im gna get drunk and go out and be appreciated. So I went out drinkin and met up with a chick who I made out with and danced some with, nothing more than that, it was over and I just wanted to get drunk and tell everyone to f off. Day after I was ashamed of everything I did so I called my girlfriend back and told her everything, it was painful. Eventho my mistep we actually made it back together for a short period of 2 months but it was hard. After that we broke up of course and she got together with another guy like 1-2 months after we broke up. After that I was a wreak cryin, couldnt do anything.. after a few months I was ok, going out clubbin having a good time with my friends, making out with girls, having sex, I was still thinkin of my ex wishing I could be with her instead of these one night stands and simple making out. So the years went by and I was out clubbin gettin close to chicks, having fun with em but I was still thinkin of my ex, a few times every month. And now up to this day I been startin to have dreams about her, being with her cuddling with her talkin about life, and then suddenly everything turns into ****, she is suddenly with a new guy pushing a kid around in a baby sitter(or whatever the name is on those trollys), and I wake up and I totally miss her, feel like I shud be the one next to her... She got a boyfriend now but not a kid, and I dont think shes pregnant either but who knows. Been like a year ago I spoke to her last... It's just I been with her for 2.2 years we broke up 3.5 years ago and Im still thinking about her missing her, I even love her still, I need help how to move on from this, cus this simply isnt working what Im doing. Please, help...
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 well, this is not what I would call love, because if you really loved her, you wouldn't be wasting your time, clubbing and bedding chicks left right and centre.... the fact that you are not over her - is your problem. And it is just that. Your problem; because she probably doesn't think of you, has moved on, is with a new guy, and may even by your way of thinking, be considering settling down to family life. so it's not as if the two of you are still needling each other, in contact, communicating or discussing anything. so this really is a completely self-inflicted madness, and your job is not to stop thinking about her - but to first consider why you even do. I think if you manage to define why, of all things, this way of thinking is impossible to drop, then it will eventually become easier - to drop it. 1
Author Disoriento Posted March 31, 2012 Author Posted March 31, 2012 It was love and the only reason why I went out clubbin was because of the need to forget about her, she had already moved on with a new boyfriend, I had to move on and try to forget about her. And why we werent talking was because I couldnt handle having a normal conversation with her, it got to me bad while I was talking to her that she was with someone new and I just had to stop talkin to her. She was my girlfriend and a good friend and not being able to talk to her is really hard, everytime I spoke to her I felt upset that she was with someone new and she got upset cus it brought up all old memories. She is a wonderful person and I really didnt wanna mess things up for her with her new boyfriend, eventho I really wanted to be with her, which I made clear MANY times. I thought if I couldnt have her I wanted her to be happy and if that meant she being with someone new then sure. But your right, theres no way I can get her back, I know that but still I cant let go of her, thinkin of her, dreaming about her, realizing why I think about her, it's quite easy, I loved her alot and we had amazing times together. It's just I need to get past this, I wanna be happy again.
JoeyArnold Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 You have to be with a girl who is ok with your lifestyle.
Author Disoriento Posted March 31, 2012 Author Posted March 31, 2012 What do you mean with my lifestyle? I go clubbin and all that to forget about my ex but its not working, thats why Im postin here for some help.
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 so why keep doing something that doesn't work? It's gotten to the point where clubbing no longer helps you forget - but it makes you remember.... the big problem is, that actually - you haven't really WANTED to forget her, have you?
JoeyArnold Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Lifestyle means you have this habit, this pattern: you went clubbing that one time when you guys were together & then you went clubbing again when she left you. It seems like the only thing that is consistent with you is the clubs. I'm not exactly against clubs. I use to go to high school dances with no dates & just danced with random girls.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 ...you were only with her for 2.2 months? And fighting much of the time? I doubt it was love, maybe teenagery love, LOL. You won't find the gal of your dreams in a club, by the way. It's been over 3 years; you need to figure out why you are still thinking of her---maybe because she is the one that got away? we always want what we can't have. 1
Author Disoriento Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 We were together for 2 years n 2 month, dont kno how to edit my post but if u read the whole post u wud see it was 2 years n 2 months ^^ And yea ur right, I wont find the girl of my dreams in a club. I am aware that clubbin doesnt help... No I dont want to forget her, but I need to because this is just ridiculous I need to move on but I dont know how anymore. 1
CopingGal Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 We were together for 2 years n 2 month, dont kno how to edit my post but if u read the whole post u wud see it was 2 years n 2 months ^^ And yea ur right, I wont find the girl of my dreams in a club. I am aware that clubbin doesnt help... No I dont want to forget her, but I need to because this is just ridiculous I need to move on but I dont know how anymore. You have to decide what you really want out of life. You have one or the other thing to focus on...trying to get her back, OR moving on with your life. Make a decision and then go from there. Forget about clubbing nonsense and trying to be with other women. You are not ready. You are not ready. If you want to move on with your life, work on yourself. Do positive things. Read self help books. Volunteer to help people in need. examine yourself. Get to know yourself better. Meditate. Do deep breathing. Stop with the destructive behaviors and live a kind of life you can be happy with.
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