Desensitized Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 There's this very interesting girl that trained me today for a position at the hospital I am working at, and she is the same age as me, and same field. We really hit it off (so I thought) and I understood her humor, she understood mine. We could rarely stop laughing during the 3 hours we spent together today because it was just very enjoyable. There was someone else training with us as well, but it was as if that person wasn't there. It was mainly just her and I talking. This wasn't a cold-approach experience I don't think because I didn't straight up ask her to go out for coffee 5-10 minutes into the conversation, I asked her at an appropriate time I feel. When conversation was flowing smoothly. Anyway, I am very attracted to this girl and I would like to get to know her more. I found out she goes to the same school as me and I just really want to get to know her more. I wouldn't mind taking my time getting to know this girl. However, at the end of training, I guess you could say she didn't seem interested? I mean, she basically let me go early because she knew I had trained the prior week with somebody else, and this other trainee hadn't had any experience training other than today. So she said I was free to leave early, but earlier in the day I told her I wanted her contact info. Anyway, as soon as she said that, she basically turned away from me and went with this other trainee into a different room to fill out paperwork. Me pretending to not know my way around the hospital, I asked her if she could show me the way out. As she did, as she dropped me off at the nearest hall, I asked her if I could have her contact information. I don't really recall what she said word for word, but I think she said that she would give it to me next week when we see each other. But I can't recall 100%, honestly. I am not only interested in her because she is really cute in my book, but because we both understood each other's sense of humor I feel, and I feel like we can have a very fun time getting to know each other. I feel as if she's uninterested, so i guess I don't really know what to do when I see her next Friday. I don't want to be a loser and ask her for her contact information again after she already denied me that today. I feel that I may have come off as arrogant, hopefully that wasn't the case. But she was genuinely interested in what I was doing, so I told her. Maybe I went overboard a bit too much? I don't feel like I was boastful, but who knows.
baguette Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 Maybe she's not interested? Why don't you wait a little bit, a week or so.. and when you see her again, chat her up, bring about hanging out again and see how she responds. By giving it some time, you put yourself in a position of strength and she might respond better. If she still gives you the runaround, forget about it. No big deal.
Author Desensitized Posted March 31, 2012 Author Posted March 31, 2012 Maybe she's not interested? Why don't you wait a little bit, a week or so.. and when you see her again, chat her up, bring about hanging out again and see how she responds. By giving it some time, you put yourself in a position of strength and she might respond better. If she still gives you the runaround, forget about it. No big deal. I don't want to bring up hanging out again, I'm scared now... I don't want her to think I'm some creep asking her out for coffee again when her intention was to make it clear that she didn't want me to have her contact info the first time, even though she said she wanted to do coffee sometime. My approach to this whole situation was to just say hi to her next time I see her, and if she talks to me, then go with it. But I feel like I put the ball in her court. I did all the work, the other trainee complimented me on my "adept" face-to-face communication skills, and overall it was a good experience. I've chatted her up as much as I could today, told her I wanted to go out for coffee with her, and still proceeded to get her number at the end of the day. She said she would give me her number next week. Doubt it'll happen, but whatever. It's been my fourth rejection this week, but I'm getting better and better each time I approach. If she wants to talk to me, then cool. But I don't want to be the one to throw another ball in her court.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 It sounds to me like you acted to hastily and personal considering this was a job function. I wouldn't be surprised if there were a reason why someone else will be helping you next time. You had an enjoyable time with a nice young lady who was enjoying doing her work. That's all. If you had occasion to see her again I would put it like this if I were you, "I just have to know, do you date or is there any chance seeing you socially, you're absolutely lovely"?. What else could she say but yes, or thanks for the compliment but no". But you kind of pressed her for personal information at first meeting in a professional setting. That's a strike you may not get to live down. Good luck one way or the other. PS: Never let her see your avatar on this forum.
Author Desensitized Posted March 31, 2012 Author Posted March 31, 2012 Would apologizing for my unprofessional behavior be okay? I think I'm just going to leave her alone after I apologize.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 Would apologizing for my unprofessional behavior be okay? I think I'm just going to leave her alone after I apologize. Don't apologize. Just carry on and let her demeanor guide you as to what is appropriate. If she seems cold, you may apologize. She may surprise you and be entirely friendly or, as I said before, avoid you altogether. If you do encounter her and she seems as nice as she did the first time, you may want to venture my suggestion. But try to not make it about obtaining her information. What you're interested in is what I mentioned--if she might have any interest in seeing you socially--even on a small level. Her method of communication is then up to her to provide. In any case be sure to tell her what a joy she is to be around. That can't hurt. Don't make it about you.
Recommended Posts