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I was in a ten year relationship that was not always bad, but when it was it was terrible. So I learned very unhealthy habits that I am trying to unlearn. Since that relationship ended I met the most wonderful man I have ever met, and I fell in love. After six months I had hurt him so bad with my unhealthy behavior, I decided to break up with him. I live right now with the hope that one day he and I will end up together again. I don't know how or when I will know that I am ready to be in a healthy relationship. I am sure that I will know when I will be ready, but I am afraid it will be to late for me and this new guy. I will always of coarse love him and hold him close to my heart. What if allowing myself to get close to him set me back further? I am going to be okay to be in a relationship again one day, and when I am and it may be to late with him, that is going to make me need to take more time. This makes me very uncomfortable to think about and I almost want to give up on the whole idea of love. I wish I was ready now, even though now might be to late.

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