Necris Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 People are wierd what is this "connection" they say they feel with someone what do they mean when they say this? I myself have never felt "connected" to anyone so I'm not sure what it even means to feel "connected". I also hear the term "chemistry" where someone will say they felt some sort of chemistry with another person when I hear that it reminds me of well... chemicals does this mean they detected some chemicals (pheromones?) on the person they liked and now feel in love? I was going to ask another question but I can't remember what it was, I may remember it later. Anyway all of this is confusing so what does it mean?
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 (edited) Let's say there's three girls and you're going to talk to them for 5 mins each one after another: Girl #1 She's semi-attractive to you, she's not really your type physically or personality wise...you can't tell If she likes you either, direct eye contact is so so, but even If she is she's just ok because she seems nice enough but conversation doesn't flow really well but it's still ok. You walk away feeling like she's a nice enough person but you weren't blown away or anything. You may contact her again. Girl #2 She's attractive, you think she's your type physically but personality wise she's just kinda bland, you don't really match up on interests...she's not much of a talker, you're asking all the questions...you think she's more into you than the last girl but you're not feeling anything beyond physical attraction because talking to her feels rather bland and actually makes you less interested. You walk away thinking about her physical qualities, but you're not sure whether you hit it off or not. Girl #3 She's attractive and has a nice personality and somebody you're immediately very interested in. Conversation flows effortlessly and natural...which means 5 minutes turns into 15 mins to 30 mins to an hour without you even noticing. She's smiling at you and you're smiling back at her, and you're making a lot of eye contact. You feel comfortable around her like you're not trying to just be cordial, you're loosening up and It's just simply happening. .................. I think the majority of people would date all 3 types of people and possibly even let them lead into relationships, for some people It's just for them to decide that or not, since the green light is there. However the point of this was to show how much "easier" it was when getting to know one person versus another, and how side by side you can distinguish what "chemistry" is, or was, in the moment. When you have chemistry with someone, it's like a shoe that just fits, you don't have to force it at all. If that person feels the same way then things flow very quickly and can escalate quickly, and that's when you start getting your head in the clouds because most people will take it and run with it. They don't assess the person they are with and who they are, they put their whole stack in the "chemistry" factor, which all things must be balanced, you've got to look at the whole picture. Chemistry feels great, is exciting and a thrill...It's like a rollercoaster you don't want to get off of. But note it can be one-sided, one person can feel this way without recognizing the other does not. Sometimes I can look in crowd of women and just lock eyes with one (everyone once in a great while - noticing each other at the same time)...It just happens that easily sometimes. I've had it happen like that before and for me I already knew she was into me there was no doubt in my mind the moment we made eye contact and had that gaze, I trusted my gut and just went with it as If it was already decided, I just knew It was right and I haven't ever been wrong. But that's just my personal experience. I use my head to figure things out, but I react on instinct. Edited March 31, 2012 by Ninjainpajamas
january2011 Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 It's that inexplicable 'something' that leads you to want to continue to have that person in your life. It can manifest itself in finishing each other's sentences, being able to anticipate and predict the other person's thoughts, feelings and behaviour, a mutual agreement in terms of values, a feeling that you 'know' that person and they 'fit' in your world. Chemistry on the other hand manifests itself when you spark off each other to create a palpable and vibrant energy that excites and enthuses you both. I've deliberately kept this quite general, because I believe that one can have chemistry and connection in non-romantic relationships, such as best-friend relationships.
Author Necris Posted March 31, 2012 Author Posted March 31, 2012 However the point of this was to show how much "easier" it was when getting to know one person versus another, and how side by side you can distinguish what "chemistry" is, or was, in the moment. When you have chemistry with someone, it's like a shoe that just fits, you don't have to force it at all. If that person feels the same way then things flow very quickly and can escalate quickly, and that's when you start getting your head in the clouds because most people will take it and run with it. They don't assess the person they are with and who they are, they put their whole stack in the "chemistry" factor, which all things must be balanced, you've got to look at the whole picture. Chemistry feels great, is exciting and a thrill...It's like a rollercoaster you don't want to get off of. But note it can be one-sided, one person can feel this way without recognizing the other does not. Sometimes I can look in crowd of women and just lock eyes with one (everyone once in a great while - noticing each other at the same time)...It just happens that easily sometimes. I've had it happen like that before and for me I already knew she was into me there was no doubt in my mind the moment we made eye contact and had that gaze, I trusted my gut and just went with it as If it was already decided, I just knew It was right and I haven't ever been wrong. But that's just my personal experience. I use my head to figure things out, but I react on instinct. Makes sense at first so I guess chemistry and connecting mostly means how much you like the person's personality and physical attributes. The part I didn't understand was the last part, really you can look into a crowd of women lock eyes with one girl and feel a connection? That doesn't make sense to me. I feel like these guys.
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