Oscar51 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Long story short... She has severe "Daddy Issues" abandoned her at an early age, he cheated on the mother..still blows her off to this very day. He has an unbelievable power over her. She is emotionally unavailable the majority of the time, has a GIANT wall up. Finds it difficult to say I love you and her exes have also been emotionally unavailable (LIKE HER FATHER). She would always say, "You are everything I have looked for in a husband." I come from a family with the parents still in tact for 35 years. LOVING, we communicate well and care for each other deeply. LOYAL. We were together for 14 months...Starting "taking a break," in January...She says she does not know if she is IN love with me and wishes she felt more butterflies for me at times. Sex had stopped in November. She became progressively MEANER day by day....Even though I treated her like royalty. 1 month goes by and I try everything possible to stay unfocused on her. Going to church, join a life group, work 60 hours a week. She comes sniffing around saying she "kind of misses me", and we begin to hang out again, talking daily on the phone...Back to the old times. I did blow her off a couple of times. Things seem to be back on track...meanwhile I am tormented wondering what are status is? I bring it up, "I feel like you are placing me in a friend zone, and I want to be clear that is not an option for you." She gets pissed and would not speak to me for days. Since then she continues to blow me off, not return calls or texts. Nothing. I call her this Monday to see how she is doing...SHE ACTUALLY ANSWERS...but is incredibly rude/mean to me. Short. I say what the hell is your problem? One week you love me, one you hate me. I am done with this. Do you want me in your life or no? She says, I feel like I have to force myself to hang out with you, it's not that I don't care for or love you, but I don't think marriage would work between us (Months prior, we had started talking marriage/moving in/kids) She is extremely emotional, but you could never tell from the outside. She will not speak about her feelings, and usually gets pissed if I try to express mine. She finds my flaws are that I am "Not a leader." She would get pissed if other girls would write or click "like" on my Facebook wall. Saying that, "You can't draw lines with other women." Making me think she has a CONTROL issue. She'd get pissed if I'd hang out with friends, or go on a guys trip. As if she has to have complete CONTROL of what I do at all times, but would get pissed saying, "You don't venture out on your own enough!" But when I would try to venture out, she'd pitch a fit!!! A LOSE LOSE SITUATION!!! My belief is that she has been so scarred by her Dad from a young age, she has never been loved or cared for like this before so she RUNS...Just like her Dad. She RUNS before I can leave her, like her Dad has her entire life. Make sense? I have not spoken to her since...going on 4 days of NC. I feel like I have to stand my ground now, or she will never respect me. My father says walk away for Good...I know this is the right thing to do, but I am very much in love with her, making it difficult. Any advice? Possible GIGS? Or just an emotionally damaged girl that I cannot fix? I don't think she thinks I am serious about being done, because I have always caved and contacted her...Trying to stay strong here. HELP!
Senateguy Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 You're the back up. She doesn't have anything else going on and nobody is trying to date her. So she comes back to old reliable - which is you. As soon as she gets an option, you'll be yesterday's news. She is simply buying time and filling an emotional need by using you. She isn't feeling you, but doesn't want to be alone. Welcome to the world of women using men. Start dating other women immediately - it's over.
wilsonx Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 I enjoy reading these posts where after the breakup, people label their ex's as daddy abandonment issues. Didnt think about that before the breakup did you? Nope, you loved her Yes its gigs
Author Oscar51 Posted March 31, 2012 Author Posted March 31, 2012 It was always a concern of mine. Blinded by love I guess? Refusing to admit it. She always defends him...even though he forgets her bday/Christmas etc. Facing reality is tough. But no contact is clearly the only option here. Unfortunately...the way she acts, I believe she will always think the grass is greener. No matter who she is with.
Recommended Posts