ditzchic Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 So I may have met a new guy. We are going out tomorrow night and so far things seem like they can pan out well. My issue is... this guy has an eerily similar life to an ex of mine. My relationship with the ex ended kind of badly and I want absolutely nothing to do with that guy ever again. But this new has so many similar interests to the ex and does so many of the same things (to the point of going camping in the same small mountain town hours away from where we live) that it seems almost impossible that these two don't at least know each other. They could even be friends... If new guy and the ex are friendly, I want to ghost. I just don't want to deal with the past with the ex. I really want to ask the new guy if he knows the ex but I think that would seem weird to just come out and be like "Hey, you're just like my ex. Do you guys know each other?" And I usually have a policy against mentioning exes by name. So I don't know how to approach this. What do you guys think?
darkmoon Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 just casually discuss members of this group you know (people do) and see who is who, you sound a bit got at which is not right - you are not a crminal
Imajerk17 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Ask him if he knows anyone by the name of {ex's first name}. That wouldn't be weird IMO.
amog4l Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 i doubt they have the same behaviors and would treat you the same.
InJest Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Sounds like you still have baggage from the last relationship. Tell the new guy, you're not interested and spare the poor guy the drama you're going to bring him.
Author ditzchic Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 Ask him if he knows anyone by the name of {ex's first name}. That wouldn't be weird IMO. Right but if I were to ask (it's a very common name btw so I would have to clarify further) don't you think the first thing out of your mouth would be why? Then what the hell do I say?? I'm a horrible liar.
Author ditzchic Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 Sounds like you still have baggage from the last relationship. Tell the new guy, you're not interested and spare the poor guy the drama you're going to bring him. I don't have baggage. I'm good and moved on. And I prefer to stay that way which is why I don't want anything to do with the ex.
Imajerk17 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Right but if I were to ask (it's a very common name btw so I would have to clarify further) don't you think the first thing out of your mouth would be why? Then what the hell do I say?? I'm a horrible liar. Welll... he already *does* suspect that he isn't the very first boy you've ever kissed, right? Just say that you dated a guy by the name who likes to go hiking there and that it's quite a coincidence.
gaius Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Just be honest ditz. He's an ex you don't like that does a lot of the same things this boyfriend does. If he did know him you just wanted to give a heads up that he's a guy you don't want to deal with on any level. If you keep the conversation short and simple I don't think there will be a problem. If you spend 2 hours talking about it he might think you are a little hung up on the guy.
USMCHokie Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 At this point, a non-issue. Cross that bridge when you get to it. You may not even need to deal with this if things go south...or he may be so awesome that you won't give two sh*ts if they know each other.
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