yellow Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 My ex and I ended a relationship on a very loving level.. Im a bit older than he is and he wanted to go off and finish his last 2 years of college. Due to working 70 hours a week and taking night classes, his stress got the best of him and he couldnt handle the long distance relationship. I was very understanding, but completely heartbroken. The day we said good-bye he begged me to please talk to him soon and that he didnt want me to dissapear from his life... i told him i needed some time. 2 months later I texted him. I told him i was having a hard time with things.. and that I missed him. He replied and said he didnt want to be so distant that he wants to know whats going on in my life, and that he wants me to tell him. he also said he realized how much he enjoyed his time with me (1year & half) but that his life was there now and it was non stop, and that he blocks everything out and focus on whats in front of him. I replied and said that I was hurting, but that I was making alot positive changes in my life and that I wished I could make him happy and that he was a great man with alot going for him and that he will do great. ALL VERY POSITIVE! I was very honest and real with him which was very hard for me to do (which i also said in the text) because i normally would just put up a wall and hold resentment. I told him i didnt want to do this with him. that i wanted to keep the door of communication open. (BTW..we didnt break up because we didnt love eachother.. we had great realationship.) So after all that being said, He never replied!! So a week later I texted him and asked him if there was a reason why he didnt reply and that I was trying to keep the communication open? Again, no response. SO i asked him again what was up.. why was he avoiding me? I said if he didnt want me in his life, then he needs to tell me and I will never contact him again. He finally replied and said.. I dont know what to say. I asked about what?? he said about everything. He replied.. "we need to have a huge talk" then he said he was going to call me, and then didnt. He said he had too much stress in his life and coulnt deal with it right now, that he hurt himself at work, and he didnt feel like having the conversation of me and him "figuring out our situation" I replied.. OK. and left it at that... and still haven't heard from him now and its been a few days. MEN- what the heck is this about?? I didnt think we had a "situation" and why would he say we need to have a HUGE talk and then wont talk!? we were best friends and now he is treating me like a stranger. Im soooo confused and this is hurting me even more.!!?? what do i do??
Philosoraptor Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 (edited) If you want the simple answer... he is either not interested anymore or is with or is more interested in someone else now. He might have chickened out on the talk to not burn any bridges. Edited March 30, 2012 by Philosoraptor 1
Author yellow Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 Philosoraptor - Thanks for your reply. If he was interested in someone else i hope he would just come out and say it. The whole reason why we broke up was because he didnt have time for a relationship.. why would he move onto another girl if that was the case? Also, if he wasnt interested in keeping me in his life anymore, why would he say he missed talking to me, realizes how much he enjoyed his time with me, and that he wanted to keep me in his life and not be so distant? This would be sending mixed signals, and be completely inconsiderate. Am i missing something here??
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 Philosoraptor - Thanks for your reply. If he was interested in someone else i hope he would just come out and say it. The whole reason why we broke up was because he didnt have time for a relationship.. why would he move onto another girl if that was the case? Also, if he wasnt interested in keeping me in his life anymore, why would he say he missed talking to me, realizes how much he enjoyed his time with me, and that he wanted to keep me in his life and not be so distant? This would be sending mixed signals, and be completely inconsiderate. Am i missing something here?? He obviously had the time if he was with you. If you want someone, you make the time. I am seeing a lot of excuses for breaking up on here and many are college/job, etc. I say that is bull****. He was ignoring your texts and finally answered; he is avoiding you again. Time for you to avoid him, now. My vibe is that there is someone else and he doesn't want to burn a bridge with you in case this other thing doesn't work out.
EgoJoe Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 He was making sure that if he wanted to talk you would be willing. That is all. I experienced this. Call it "buying time" to pursue other options. I would burn the bridge if I were you. I did something similar but left an opening for an apology, nothing else. 1
sweetheart5381 Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 He was making sure that if he wanted to talk you would be willing. That is all. I experienced this. Call it "buying time" to pursue other options. I would burn the bridge if I were you. I did something similar but left an opening for an apology, nothing else. Exactly. My ex and I have communicated over the last 2 weeks. He expressed that he wanted us to still talk and be friends, etc after weeks of NC initiated by me. Go figure. Guess he missed me (rather the security of me honestly). I agreed, we could be friends and talk. I put the ball back in his court to see what he does. He has initiated contact on a few occasions this week, quite unlike our relationship as bf/gf. I will not initiate any further contact. If he really wants us to have a meaningful relationship he will be back and we will both change some of our ways to enable it. If not, the relationship will dissolve. Life goes on
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