blindesided Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 So I have finally come to accept that it is over & he is not coming back. It hurts and is so scary to think that I may never see or talk to this person ever again. I feel I have made some progress but knowing he is out there seeing someone while I am hurting seems so unfair and really its like a punch in the gut. I didnt sleep at all last night - I am a total wreck. I cant eat - I cant afford to lose any more weight - after my divorce I lost 15lbs - which was wonderful - I look better than I ever have - but I cant lose any more weight - i would look anorexic. I keep hearing things get better with time - but right now its hard to believe. When I think of the immediate future - all I can think about is sadness of all the things we arent going to share. I used to love being alone -when did I turn into this sad, lonely, needy person?? I just want my old self back & I dont even know where to begin.
Philosoraptor Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 You need to learn to live for yourself. Make a list of things you've always wanted to do for yourself, and work at them. You need to find a way to be excited for your future. 1
Nohbody Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Small steps. In spite of how you feel, you have your entire life to be whatever you want to be... or you can settle for less. Do one thing you've always wanted to do but couldn't do due to relationship commitments. Being single is actually kind of awesome once you realize you are beholden to no one and you can do whatever you want. Do it for you. Why don't you list some things you've wanted to do in this thread, or create a new one and get some feedback on that?
cflowers32 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I just noticed you're in Florida, so am I. West Palm Beach. You sound just like me this morning/day. I feel so bad for you, I totally relate. I didn't sleep well last night either as he emailed me about 9:30 and after that my head just wouldn't shutup and all I could do was think about him. The weight?? Yeah, me too. I haven't really eaten either. My clothes, 6 days later, are much loser on me also. When I do eat, I feel even worse. I don't mind, it's kind of nice, and then I'm going to hit the gym. I'm hoping to go out with someone this weekend and maybe get a nice meal as a treat. I so, so, so feel for you, your post totally resonated with me. *BIG HUG*
jennisfora Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 can't sleep either. but i felt better last night. didn't cry. wish i was in florida we could hang out. *hugs*
robkris8079 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I haven't cried at all through this whole process. Not sure why or if there is meaning behind it. As for sleeping a little nyquil is my friend . Yeah prob not the healthiest thing but raising a kid and my job being quite demanding these days I need to get rest in.
Author blindesided Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 I just noticed you're in Florida, so am I. West Palm Beach. You sound just like me this morning/day. I feel so bad for you, I totally relate. I didn't sleep well last night either as he emailed me about 9:30 and after that my head just wouldn't shutup and all I could do was think about him. The weight?? Yeah, me too. I haven't really eaten either. My clothes, 6 days later, are much loser on me also. When I do eat, I feel even worse. I don't mind, it's kind of nice, and then I'm going to hit the gym. I'm hoping to go out with someone this weekend and maybe get a nice meal as a treat. I so, so, so feel for you, your post totally resonated with me. *BIG HUG* Thanks for the support - it really means so much!! Hey - I'll be in West Palm in July for the Dave Matthews shows!! (which is bittersweet - ex and I were planning on going - but nothing will stop me - Dave is my FAV band ever!)- I love West Palm Beach - I'm in the Tampa/Clearwater area As far as being single - after my divorce - I LOVED being single - I went out - met all kinds of new people & had a blast - I felt I was recapturing my youth since I got married so young. I never minded coming home alone - I relished it! I dated a lot and wasnt ready to "settle down" - I still dont think I am yet. I never expected to fall so hard for this recent Ex - thats what the kicker is - I know I have learned from this experience & will be a better person from it. I just hope & pray I can get back to that person I was after the divorce a year ago - as crazy as that may sound. Its just hard to see - I have this irrational fear that I wont meet anyone again & I know in my head that isnt true - but try telling that to my heart right now - it doesnt want to listen
robkris8079 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Thanks for the support - it really means so much!! Hey - I'll be in West Palm in July for the Dave Matthews shows!! (which is bittersweet - ex and I were planning on going - but nothing will stop me - Dave is my FAV band ever!)- I love West Palm Beach - I'm in the Tampa/Clearwater area As far as being single - after my divorce - I LOVED being single - I went out - met all kinds of new people & had a blast - I felt I was recapturing my youth since I got married so young. I never minded coming home alone - I relished it! I dated a lot and wasnt ready to "settle down" - I still dont think I am yet. I never expected to fall so hard for this recent Ex - thats what the kicker is - I know I have learned from this experience & will be a better person from it. I just hope & pray I can get back to that person I was after the divorce a year ago - as crazy as that may sound. Its just hard to see - I have this irrational fear that I wont meet anyone again & I know in my head that isnt true - but try telling that to my heart right now - it doesnt want to listen Wow I could have written this exact thing from marrying young to the divorce to loving the single life to falling for someone. Only thing I couldn't write is fear of meeting someone new. That I'm not scared of for some reason. You can get that person back no problem. That person never left, just took a vacation.
cflowers32 Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 Wow I could have written this exact thing from marrying young to the divorce to loving the single life to falling for someone. Only thing I couldn't write is fear of meeting someone new. That I'm not scared of for some reason. You can get that person back no problem. That person never left, just took a vacation. Yeah, me too!! Blindsided, that's awesome!! Dave Matthews is great. It's kind of cool knowing another Floridian here. I really relate to you and Jenn a lot on here, we all seem to be going through the same thing. I am trying so hard to keep my head up, have fun, focus on me, and the gym... I went again tonight, it was great. I'll probably go in the morning too. Hang in there Girl, you got a friend here that supports you and knows a lot of what you're going through. *HUG*
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 So I have finally come to accept that it is over & he is not coming back. It hurts and is so scary to think that I may never see or talk to this person ever again. I feel I have made some progress but knowing he is out there seeing someone while I am hurting seems so unfair and really its like a punch in the gut. I didnt sleep at all last night - I am a total wreck. I cant eat - I cant afford to lose any more weight - after my divorce I lost 15lbs - which was wonderful - I look better than I ever have - but I cant lose any more weight - i would look anorexic. I keep hearing things get better with time - but right now its hard to believe. When I think of the immediate future - all I can think about is sadness of all the things we arent going to share. I used to love being alone -when did I turn into this sad, lonely, needy person?? I just want my old self back & I dont even know where to begin. What's so bad about him not coming back? If someone dumps me, I don't want them anymore. I lament what went wrong in the relationship and I analyze the **** out of it, but...I don't want that guy who decided I wasn't good enough for his tubby arse. But I digress;) I soooooo know from whence you come. Seeing that the ex is happy, flitting around town with someone who is not you. It hurts. How do you know he's truly happy, though? Sure, he's seeing someone, but knowing his personality, do you think she would want to stay with him? Things DO get better in time. You aren't lonely or needy, you are grieving right now and your old self will be back. Trust me!!! Focus on YOU, not this bum. You are losing too much weight and is he so much of a god that he is worth your risking your health? Is he that much of a catch that you are thinking of what might have been? If he was soooooo special, he would be with you. So, in essence, he is very unpecial and therefore unworthy of your time. This will pass. Trust me:)
budley12 Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 you're not alone blindside, hopefully we all will one day get through this :/
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 You need to learn to live for yourself. Make a list of things you've always wanted to do for yourself, and work at them. You need to find a way to be excited for your future. Agreed! And furthermore, people will come and go from your life, and the one person you will have through it all is YOU. You need to look after your health and find ways to perk yourself up:)
Author blindesided Posted March 31, 2012 Author Posted March 31, 2012 What's so bad about him not coming back? If someone dumps me, I don't want them anymore. I lament what went wrong in the relationship and I analyze the **** out of it, but...I don't want that guy who decided I wasn't good enough for his tubby arse. But I digress;) I soooooo know from whence you come. Seeing that the ex is happy, flitting around town with someone who is not you. It hurts. How do you know he's truly happy, though? Sure, he's seeing someone, but knowing his personality, do you think she would want to stay with him? Things DO get better in time. You aren't lonely or needy, you are grieving right now and your old self will be back. Trust me!!! Focus on YOU, not this bum. You are losing too much weight and is he so much of a god that he is worth your risking your health? Is he that much of a catch that you are thinking of what might have been? If he was soooooo special, he would be with you. So, in essence, he is very unpecial and therefore unworthy of your time. This will pass. Trust me:) I appreciate your tough love - sometimes I need to hear that. I appreciate evryone's opinions & support - I am so glad to have found this outlet & couldnt imagine trying to go through this without all you guys. Though not all situations are the same. Knowing his personality - yes I can see the new girl wanting to stay with him - he is a great guy - we were just at two different stages in our lives & my head knows that - its my heart that is having trouble letting go. 1
Author blindesided Posted March 31, 2012 Author Posted March 31, 2012 Yeah, me too!! Blindsided, that's awesome!! Dave Matthews is great. It's kind of cool knowing another Floridian here. I really relate to you and Jenn a lot on here, we all seem to be going through the same thing. I am trying so hard to keep my head up, have fun, focus on me, and the gym... I went again tonight, it was great. I'll probably go in the morning too. Hang in there Girl, you got a friend here that supports you and knows a lot of what you're going through. *HUG* Thanks - & so do you! - you & Jenn have very similar stories & it helps to know I am not alone - This place has been wonderful - I cant imagine how much harder it wouldve been without having a place to vent & have people support & understand & offer advice. The gym is a huge help too - even just walking around my neighborhood - its a lifesaver!
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