lostconfidence Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 i have put other post here so read them to get the whole inside detail these post seem to die out after a while. anyway quick recapp.. me and my ex loved and adored i was a stuborn slightly dominate one. after year and a half we split for 6 months. she didnt want it i thought it was the right thing to do. anyway over the 6 months she kinds chased me everywhere.. i hurt her.. i dated loads..she didnt know about it. yes i still loved her thought it was the right thing then we got back just over 3 months ago.. she made sure she got me back. we started dating again right wher we left off so no honey moon peroid already she was misreable she hasa very hetic job very big hours so we never saw each other ....the same problems as last time i seen her maybe once twice a week at nite we didnt really go out could never plan anything and i always got at her for never putting effort in. i felt i wasnt in a realationship. one night she went cold i went cold got scared and jumped she txt mefor a week crying and begging saying shell cahnge quit jobs ext i was angry all she needed to do was pick up the fone 1 week after are break up she said f to this went out that nite met a guy and has spent almost every nite with him since......... ifound out 2 weeks later it went all pear shapped she couldv told me she has moved on. i would have accepted that she, but she cried and foned came down to mine stayed over told me she needed space dosent know what she wants one nite she lay in my bed clinging on for dear life. when i fell asleep twice she woke me with passonate kissing then teh 3rd time woke me up and said she needed space i told her no that was it. she would not delete this punk of facebook. 5 days later i sent her flowers to her work. she txt flirtung back and forth. then mnday she txt saying she hates making dicissions and she thinks she gonna make the right one then i found out she was with him all teh time, she foned crying begging saying she dosnt know what she doin bla bla we got back togetehr then tehe next day she called it off being all cold sh kept touching me then pulling away when i wentto get ot of teh car she tried to styop me then pushed me out. then sat staring at me for 20 mins and foning evry 2 mins.. that was 2 weeks ago i reallt struggle with all this she is still with thi guy evrey nite she emailed me the other day saying she dosnt have string feeling for him just likes him.she wants me to be happys she now enjoying life again she parading this guy all over the show to teh stage i cant even go out i think she still very bitter caus ei called it off again there is no way in hell she cant stay with this guy hes just a bum all they do is party i know am not getting her back any time soon she told me we neevr stood a chance she geting a new job with this guy she in his every nite after the hrs she wks she also told me she knows am the right choice, and she could n stand seeing mewith another girl but itll have to happen i yold her i wish her the best and tto be careful casue she still hasnt healed.... she did not know this guy before we split she met him that night i know this for a facy!!!
wilsonx Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 yup shes rebounding. you tell her that she hasn't healed, but you haven't healed either. if I was in your shoes, I'd focus on healing my own pain etc
Author lostconfidence Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 yeah i know that.. and am nc and getting back to my old self.. i have a lot of friend s to get me throught thiis it is tough so i feel for every1 on here i want to know the stages of rebounding. ie whats happens during and after what he she think during it and ppls expirences...... maybe i should have started this thread different lol
wilsonx Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Look within yourself to answer that question, you have those answers already as you have done it.
Author lostconfidence Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 lol no offence but that s the worse answer ever!! like the oracle from the matrix
wilsonx Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 None taken! The oracle told Neo what he already knew, he just had to find it within himself
Author lostconfidence Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 that is anoying forget what i said just tell me expirences on rebounding
robkris8079 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 she is rebounding. She is going to find out that this guy isn't half the man you were but she is going to have a really really good time with him until she realizes this. Then she is going to come running back to you telling you she made a mistake and want to be with you forever. Then she is going to second guess being with you and the process will repeat. That is one scenario I have seen anyway. I have seen more but not one that works in the favor of the original couple reuniting and living happily ever after. Not sure what your looking for but as stated earlier in this thread that you actually said "yeah I know" to . . . yup shes rebounding. you tell her that she hasn't healed, but you haven't healed either. if I was in your shoes, I'd focus on healing my own pain etc 2
mike588 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Don't know if this will help you or not but I was a rebound. I re-connected with an old friend from many years ago. She had just gotten out of a relationship and we hit if off..it was comfortable for both of us because we already knew each other and caught up on "old times" I knew she still had feelings for her ex. a HUGE red flag I foolishly chose to ignore and she swore to me she would NEVER go back to him. I treated her so well and was in love with her and she told me the same...we dated right at a year. Well according to her he contacted her one night saying...love you and miss you. That was all she needed to hear so she dumped me for him...this is now their 2nd maybe 3rd time back together. This was 7 months ago and I'm over her...finally. I went strict No Contact then last month she contacts me several times with regrets and sorrys.
cincinnatikid Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 My advice to you: 1. Focus on YOU, and only YOU 2. Leave her and the situation alone (for a very good while) Read some of my threads and OP's, perhaps it might give you some insight along with the other posters here. Sounds to me like, GIGS and not knowing what the hell she wants. Frankly, it has nothing to do with you. My question is, how old are you and how old is she? My current ex is 26, I'm 28. I have absolutely no doubt that while for the most part her head is screwed on straight, she still is still trying to figure it all out. I do not fault her at all. Why? Because I'm 28 going on 29 and still trying to figure it out!! I have little doubt that in time, when I get settled and feel comfortable in my situation, things could change. Anything is possible. But, the caveat here is you cannot, and should not, keep chasing, pining, following up, begging, etc. You only dig a much bigger hole. If you two have been together for some time she isn't going to forget about you any time soon. I'll sign my name to that. The more you leave her alone and to her thoughts, the better position you put yourself in. Two fold reasoning here. It means you have taken a step back to work on yourself and given her the space to do whatever that she wants to do with her life. If by chance you get back together, she'll be grateful you gave this to her. Best!!
Author lostconfidence Posted March 31, 2012 Author Posted March 31, 2012 yeah when i think back bout them few times after she was in my house all she wanted me todo was ripp her clothes of to show the passion was still there.. obv she getting it from him.. she isnt a bad person but sometimes ppl just become a bitch ave gave her my blessing we left it last time we talked on god terms and she told me know 1 knows what had been goin on bcause its only are buisness... well i seen her best mate yesterday and ask if she thought she was ok.( this best mate apparently thought my ex was propper losing the plot and wanted us to egt back together) well she basicaly told me to leave her alone and move on cause am not doin my self any favours but just prolonging it for myself. i was in shock..ave been nothing but decent i couldv went crazy and beat this wee ladd cause trust me many ppl thought i would have.. any way i just told her fair enough i just dont think any1 can move on that fast and am just worried about her but suppose thats none of my buisness and happy she happy. said thank you and went on my way sshes obv been telling her a lot of bull. thats definatly bitter
wilsonx Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 (edited) Roar!!!!!1!1 Edited March 31, 2012 by wilsonx
Author lostconfidence Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 still cant get this bitch outa my head. hate the fact her car is still there and i have no choice but to drive past it.i feel like putting the door down the hall and putting him out a window. but i wont for her. seen her facebook yesterday she seems the happiest gorl alive and looking stunning there havin weekends away and planning holidays every1 keeps saying it wont last why wont it when she seems happy and they seem perfect.. my onlt thing i look forward to is am leaving in a few months for the army
Author lostconfidence Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 mate seriously if your just gonna be stupid dont bother writing anything.. maybe you get a kick out of ppls pain
robkris8079 Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 still cant get this bitch outa my head. hate the fact her car is still there and i have no choice but to drive past it.i feel like putting the door down the hall and putting him out a window. but i wont for her. seen her facebook yesterday she seems the happiest gorl alive and looking stunning there havin weekends away and planning holidays every1 keeps saying it wont last why wont it when she seems happy and they seem perfect.. my onlt thing i look forward to is am leaving in a few months for the army Look you know way more about your ex then you should. This is your EX as in past, not current, no different to you then a stranger you pass on the street. Sure you argue with me on that but it's the truth. You have a choice to drive past the house? Go a block out of your way. Stop checking her facebook. If she is happy then just be happy for her or better yet don't care (that takes time). You say your leaving soon. Focus on that and things you want to get done before you go, as long as they don't include your ex. mate seriously if your just gonna be stupid dont bother writing anything.. maybe you get a kick out of ppls pain I think he feels he has given you all the advice he can and your just not listening. I could be wrong though. 1
Author lostconfidence Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 so is she the one in a million person whos found that somebody after a week of splitting with me?? and i knw she was in a bad way. then whay all the bull**** when i found out about this guy leading me on and stuff ;ast week she was on the fone crying saying she loves me and she will alway reply if a txt which i wont. every1 says shes just letting her hair down she knows i hate drugs and shes constant wiped out has she moved on?? i already know the answer but you guys have more expirence i guess and no i dont listen but i need the bare truth not find it in yourself keek that just dosnt work
wilsonx Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 When you went off and dated other people, did that work out for you? I like that expression "She's just letting her hair down" You've got some smart friends, you should listen to them. I was in your shoes May of last year, it gets easier before it gets harder, trust me. Its not going to work is the answer you're looking for. For me, I can't egg my ex's car because we use to do that to our ex's so she would know it was me. But you could get away with it, have a day of fun I couldnt have. Look at what your ex has to do and go out and date other people to be happy... drugs? Have you ever seen a happy person that does drugs or drinks when they are not on drugs or drinking?
Author lostconfidence Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 no dating other birds dosnt help. i have all sorts of birds txtn me at the min and i wont commit to a date no intrest.. prob bang them tho lol yes al my girl friends... al women i have tanked lol i haev been quiet popular and they all think am a great catch and they all say she will be back just at the min this guy is offering her what she wants at the min.. i want to belive it but even all her mates seem to like this guy more than me and we live in a generation wher its near normal to take drugs am prob the exception that dosnt. when i met her she was a bit mad on them tho she was fed up with them and her mates are pretty bad onthem
wilsonx Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 listen to what your friends tell you, they know the deal! it could be a while though
Author lostconfidence Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 i do belive this is my karma coming back to bite me. it bites hard
Author lostconfidence Posted April 3, 2012 Author Posted April 3, 2012 well my sister has fallen out with me again and shes goin out for a drink with my ex in the next few days.lol and my cousins whos also close who ave been torturing told me today that she is happy and it mite! mite not work out!. that it was a rebound but now she is happy....i seen the pics of her at the weekend and most of them are of him!! lol and some of her and him suppose its time to move on cause this is doin my head in..
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