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We are going to start trying soon...


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Posted

My partner and I just agreed that we will start trying for a baby this summer.

 

How do I know if this is the right thing to do or not? This is the biggest decision I have ever had to make...

Posted

Well, maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I don't think that the idea of planning for a baby dovetails very nicely with the idea of having a threesome. What do you think?

 

Beyond that, why have you agreed to try to have a baby if you don't know if it's the right thing to do or not? It's definitely a huge step, but I believe that usually a person enters into this being pretty sure that it IS the "right thing."

 

What's your relationship like?

  • Author
Posted (edited)

I've had some before, would do it again if it came up, am not actively looking. I don't think having threesomes or not is relevant to our future kids; it's not something they'll be included in.

 

I don't think I am the kind of person who would ever be certain it's the right thing. In fact, I think people who go into uncertain situations (which having children inherently is) with a great deal of confidence are mostly in denial or not thinking things through.

 

That said, we have tried to prepare as well as possible. We have agreed to a financial cushion of about 1 year of my salary (in cash, not investments) before we go for it. We have talked about parenting goals and strategies, and agree on things like breastfeeding and circumcision.

 

Our relationship is pretty cool. Was there something specific you wanted to know about it?

Edited by mostlyclueless
Posted

 

Our relationship is pretty cool. Was there something specific you wanted to know about it?

 

Well, mostly stuff that would relate to providing a home and stability for a child.

  • Author
Posted (edited)

We have a lot of money if that's what you mean. And we like each other a lot.

 

I am being a little flippant. We are both educated, kind, patient, emotionally stable people. I think our kids are gonna be awesome.

Edited by mostlyclueless
second thoughts
Posted

Having kids is never the right decision. Fortunately, as long as you're relatively stable with a home and a means to provide basic necessities, it's rarely the wrong decision. If you both feel that you're at a point in your life where you can hypothetically handle it and are willing to give it a go, then why not?

 

If you're incredibly worried, perhaps you can become a foster parent before having one of your own? It will delay it, to be sure, and will never really replicate pregnancy, childbirth and raising one from there on out, but at least you will get a taste of parenting before leaping into it.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

^^^ I wonder if the state (if they knew) would allow a couple who have threesomes to foster?

 

*Eve decides to do some research*

 

Take care,

Eve x

Edited by Eve
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