cflowers32 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 @ss!! I don't feel like this all day, but now, it's the end of the day, it's time for us to "be saying goodnight" which we talk all day anyway... *sigh* I really miss him so much. HOWEVER, I went and signed up at that gym today and went tonight for a little over an hour and gave myself a good beating on the treadmill. Oh, it was awesome!!!! I colored my hair last night and washed my sheets, my friends have been so great. I had one ask me if I'd be interested in a different employment opportunity which I am most definitely going to check out. My job of two years has turned into a little too much drama... we'll see. I'm not looking to make any other changes, but you know, wouldn't it be nice??? Everything new. Start fresh. I'm doing that anyway, because my reality of love is that, he is gone, and this is my new life without him. Bittersweet I am feeling about everything. Up, down, up, down, up, down, I know you all can relate. Anyway, besides the gym, there is also this, I think I have FOR SURE lost a few pounds because I have been such a mess I have not really eaten anything in the last five days. So perfect timing. Get my appetite back, hit the gym, make sure I look FANTASTIC naked!!! Way to be. See you all around, hope you all are doing ok.
Itsonlyme66 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I also joined the gym today! I wonder how many dumpees join gyms, lol I figured, the next time he sees me (if ever), the inner thighs will be tight. the pancake butt will be rounded. the bike tire belly will be FLAT. and the pale legs will be TANNED (they have tanning there too) I've just felt so angry lately that I want to hit something. so why not hit the gym? I too feel bittersweet, up and down. mostly down but i can't really afford to slump around all day with other people around me. I guess I should be thankful for that. But in the mornings, it's hard to wake up, face another day, and know I won't be hearing from him. and I just can't call. It's not on me. not my call to make. but i can't wait to start tanning, hitting the sauna, and replacing cigarettes for a treadmill. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 @ss!! I don't feel like this all day, but now, it's the end of the day, it's time for us to "be saying goodnight" which we talk all day anyway... *sigh* I really miss him so much. HOWEVER, I went and signed up at that gym today and went tonight for a little over an hour and gave myself a good beating on the treadmill. Oh, it was awesome!!!! I colored my hair last night and washed my sheets, my friends have been so great. I had one ask me if I'd be interested in a different employment opportunity which I am most definitely going to check out. My job of two years has turned into a little too much drama... we'll see. I'm not looking to make any other changes, but you know, wouldn't it be nice??? Everything new. Start fresh. I'm doing that anyway, because my reality of love is that, he is gone, and this is my new life without him. Bittersweet I am feeling about everything. Up, down, up, down, up, down, I know you all can relate. Anyway, besides the gym, there is also this, I think I have FOR SURE lost a few pounds because I have been such a mess I have not really eaten anything in the last five days. So perfect timing. Get my appetite back, hit the gym, make sure I look FANTASTIC naked!!! Way to be. See you all around, hope you all are doing ok. Right on!! I had this habit of washing the clothes/sheets I cried on/felt terrible on. If I wore a favorite shirt, but was having a bad day, that would go right in the wash. I needed to do something tangible to rid myself of the icky feelings I had when crying over him. these guys don't deserve our tears. Good for you for all the nice changes you are making. You are an inspiration:) 1
Itsonlyme66 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I can't wait to look hot naked again! I intend to look better at 45 than I did at 25! And not for him, or any man. FOR ME! I can't wait for my clothes to fit right again! I am proud of you, and of me, and for all of us who are picking up the pieces and super-glueing them into something even better than what they originally were.
Author cflowers32 Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 I also joined the gym today! I wonder how many dumpees join gyms, lol I figured, the next time he sees me (if ever), the inner thighs will be tight. the pancake butt will be rounded. the bike tire belly will be FLAT. and the pale legs will be TANNED (they have tanning there too) I've just felt so angry lately that I want to hit something. so why not hit the gym? I too feel bittersweet, up and down. mostly down but i can't really afford to slump around all day with other people around me. I guess I should be thankful for that. But in the mornings, it's hard to wake up, face another day, and know I won't be hearing from him. and I just can't call. It's not on me. not my call to make. but i can't wait to start tanning, hitting the sauna, and replacing cigarettes for a treadmill. YOU GO!!!!!!!!! Good for you, and while I was on that treadmill pounding my feet, all that anger and frustration. It felt soooooooooo good!! Good luck to you, I know I'm going to feel great in about a month, not to mention, my body will be rockin' again. YIPPY!!!! And a big "F-U" to him!!!!
Author cflowers32 Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 I can't wait to look hot naked again! I intend to look better at 45 than I did at 25! And not for him, or any man. FOR ME! I can't wait for my clothes to fit right again! I am proud of you, and of me, and for all of us who are picking up the pieces and super-glueing them into something even better than what they originally were. Amen sister, and I feel ya, I'm 42 and when I was regularly hitting the gym months ago, I did look really good, so back to that. It will help, and it's helping already. I'm going back tomorrow night too!! 1
blindesided Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I was just curious cflowers since our story is similar - what would you do if 3 weeks from now he comes back and said he was sorry - the girl he tried it out with meant nothing...pleae take me back? I was tyring to run that scenerio over in my head since my ex too has decided to move on & date another. I would hope I would be strong enough not to cave in & take him back. I think it would be a set up for heartbreak again eventually when he might find another "to see if she would be the one" Its funny - the weak part of me wishes he goes out -tries with this new girl - the lovey dovey honeymoon phase wears out & he realizes what a great connection we had. On the flip side - the rational side of me tells me even if the million to one odds that would happen - to run the other way because I would be setting myself up for heartbreak again. I really do hope one day (sooner than later) I can be able to think about or even talk to him with a fondness for an old friend and can look back on our time & say to myself - yep we had good times. I dont know why those thoughts were running through my head recently. I would like to think I could stay strong - especially after reading a lot of these posts about ex's coming back - only to do the same thing again Anyone else - feel free to chime in with your 2 cents
Itsonlyme66 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I'm "backing off and moving on" as he instructed me to do when I tried to talk to him. I really am. NC now for almost a week. Actually no contact since 3/14 at all. But I called and hung up a couple times. (silly, i know) I don't know what I would do if he came back asking to work it out. I'm not "there" yet where I would say no, but I would feel unsafe saying yes too. For now, limbo is where i'm at.
Author cflowers32 Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 But I called and hung up a couple times. (silly, i know) LOL!!! Oh boy, the things we do. It is so hard, but you gave me a little chuckle. *HUGS*
Author cflowers32 Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 I was just curious cflowers since our story is similar - what would you do if 3 weeks from now he comes back and said he was sorry - the girl he tried it out with meant nothing...pleae take me back? I was tyring to run that scenerio over in my head since my ex too has decided to move on & date another. I would hope I would be strong enough not to cave in & take him back. I think it would be a set up for heartbreak again eventually when he might find another "to see if she would be the one" Its funny - the weak part of me wishes he goes out -tries with this new girl - the lovey dovey honeymoon phase wears out & he realizes what a great connection we had. On the flip side - the rational side of me tells me even if the million to one odds that would happen - to run the other way because I would be setting myself up for heartbreak again. I really do hope one day (sooner than later) I can be able to think about or even talk to him with a fondness for an old friend and can look back on our time & say to myself - yep we had good times. I dont know why those thoughts were running through my head recently. I would like to think I could stay strong - especially after reading a lot of these posts about ex's coming back - only to do the same thing again Anyone else - feel free to chime in with your 2 cents You know, I have told him he has a window. I have no expectations, but I hope. I think he's being stupid, we're in our 40's and he and I are in a place where we both NEED to grow, and move forward because we're a little behind other people in our age group. I wanted us to move forward and grow together. I know, my moving really hurt him, he told me that he felt like I was going to break up with him eventually, I was already headed in that direction because I moved away from him, so I totally get where his head is at. So with that, I don't know that I would push him away, I would take him back, HOWEVER, he has a window, I have window. I wouldn't see that in 6 months from now he could just show up, and say "I'm sorry, I was wrong", I think at that point it would be too late. A year?? Probably not. Again though, I don't know what's going to happen five minutes from now. This journey is different for everyone, some of us had really crappy relationships that we're recovering and some of us, like you and me, it wasn't bad, we both had good guys, and for me?? I would like to just take his hand and say "ok, Babe, let's just move forward". I could do that around "now", but I don't know about later. Time will tell. You guys are the best, you know that?? PS - He emailed me last night about a bill I had, he ended up opening it, and scanning it and sending it to me, and tells me... "I know you said to rip it up but like I said it looked important. Here is what was in the letter. It's hard not texting you or talking to you. I miss you..." He had emailed me earlier in the day and I told him to just throw it out. I'm trying, he's suffering too, and I don't get it??? *sigh* Anyway, it made it so hard for me to get to sleep last night.
blindesided Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I know where you are coming from. Although for my siutation I dont think it would be in my best interst to take him back - even if he did come back. I would always be wondering if in a month, year...ect.. he would do it again & want to explore other opportunities. Like you said - you are both older & hasnt he had time before you to "explore" I am rooting for you & hope things work out the way you want thrm to I think I have finally accepted that my ex isnt coming back. He is seeing someone else right now and is in the blissful honeymoon phase. I think accepting that has set me back a bit as far as the pain & anxiety - its like I feel back at square one
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