gotye Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 on day 11 nc posting this instead of contacting him, hurts just wondering wtf is going on with him, but right now neither of us will get anything if I contact him... I can contact him about getting my stuff when I have nothing to lose by contacting him.
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 on day 11 nc posting this instead of contacting him, hurts just wondering wtf is going on with him, but right now neither of us will get anything if I contact him... I can contact him about getting my stuff when I have nothing to lose by contacting him. Forget your stuff. That is just an excuse to contact him and you will be hurting. not him, YOU. It is not worth it. Keep your dignity and pride in check. Nothing to be gained by calling him. My ex has some of my stuff. It's been 18 months. He is a sissy and can wear my nightgown if he wants. 1
Author gotye Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 Forget your stuff. That is just an excuse to contact him and you will be hurting. not him, YOU. It is not worth it. Keep your dignity and pride in check. Nothing to be gained by calling him. My ex has some of my stuff. It's been 18 months. He is a sissy and can wear my nightgown if he wants. it's a hard drive with important work on it... should I just get it asap and then just be done with it now?
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 it's a hard drive with important work on it... should I just get it asap and then just be done with it now? Can you send someone for it? Is there a mutual friend that can contact him to get it? And if you do contact him, is he likely to respond to you?I hate to see you go over there feeling this way.
Author gotye Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 Can you send someone for it? Is there a mutual friend that can contact him to get it? And if you do contact him, is he likely to respond to you?I hate to see you go over there feeling this way. no mutual friends, but planned on bringing someone with me. I still am gonna wait a while, most days I have felt fine today just sucks and definitely will not be a good day to message him.
mike588 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Forget your stuff. That is just an excuse to contact him and you will be hurting. not him, YOU. It is not worth it. Keep your dignity and pride in check. Nothing to be gained by calling him. My ex has some of my stuff. It's been 18 months. He is a sissy and can wear my nightgown if he wants. Yep forget your stuff. I lost/took off and forgot a $500.00 gold necklace by my exs. pool or in the yard. I told her about it just days after she dumped me and she said she would look for it...I know and believe she did. I went No Contact after that and wanted to talk to her soooooo bad....I missed her so much and wanted to break N.C. to ask her about it again and honestly I was gonna use that as an excuse just to talk to her. I'm so glad now that I didn't....it wouldn't have changed anything...it would of made me miss her more just hearing her voice and I'm sure I would of brought up other things too. It's not worth it. Have a friend...relative... other get your stuff. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Yep forget your stuff. I lost/took off and forgot a $500.00 gold necklace by my exs. pool or in the yard. I told her about it just days after she dumped me and she said she would look for it...I know and believe she did. I went No Contact after that and wanted to talk to her soooooo bad....I missed her so much and wanted to break N.C. to ask her about it again and honestly I was gonna use that as an excuse just to talk to her. I'm so glad now that I didn't....it wouldn't have changed anything...it would of made me miss her more just hearing her voice and I'm sure I would of brought up other things too. It's not worth it. Have a friend...relative... other get your stuff. Seeing him right now would add salt to your already open wound. 1
Author gotye Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 Yep forget your stuff. I lost/took off and forgot a $500.00 gold necklace by my exs. pool or in the yard. I told her about it just days after she dumped me and she said she would look for it...I know and believe she did. I went No Contact after that and wanted to talk to her soooooo bad....I missed her so much and wanted to break N.C. to ask her about it again and honestly I was gonna use that as an excuse just to talk to her. I'm so glad now that I didn't....it wouldn't have changed anything...it would of made me miss her more just hearing her voice and I'm sure I would of brought up other things too. It's not worth it. Have a friend...relative... other get your stuff. okay, ya... it hurts, I guess it's like someone that you loved so passionately and loved you back so passionately a month before is someone you can't and shouldn't face
mike588 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 okay, ya... it hurts, I guess it's like someone that you loved so passionately and loved you back so passionately a month before is someone you can't and shouldn't face I /we know how you feel. My ex. dumped me for her ex. 7 months ago and I'm over the hurt and pain...I've really moved on....doing great.. but to this day I don't want to see her. She contacted me several times last month and that set me back a step...I can only imagine what it would do...how I would feel if I saw her. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 okay, ya... it hurts, I guess it's like someone that you loved so passionately and loved you back so passionately a month before is someone you can't and shouldn't face then he should man up and face YOU, not you chasing him down. The passion sounds more than likely physical on his end if he was able to pull the rip cord and bail out on you like that. 1
Author gotye Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 then he should man up and face YOU, not you chasing him down. The passion sounds more than likely physical on his end if he was able to pull the rip cord and bail out on you like that. i so feel like it was... cause he said he was so very much still attracted to me... but he wussed out cause he didn't want to be "stuck" (he was stuck in a really bad marriage for long time, I understand even if it seems stupid and immature to me.) because he seriously just pulled the plug; one day he is professing love to me, the next "i only like you, not love you"...
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I /we know how you feel. My ex. dumped me for her ex. 7 months ago and I'm over the hurt and pain...I've really moved on....doing great.. but to this day I don't want to see her. She contacted me several times last month and that set me back a step...I can only imagine what it would do...how I would feel if I saw her. I agree; NC is healing in a huge way. My ex contacted me in August, but I ignored. I was seething, hurt and angry and I know he was contacting me with ill intention. It felt good to ignore. He only texted maybe three times if memory serves---not exactly moving mountains for me. That was that. I am at the point where "what the heck did i see in him??" and what was I going through when I was seeing him; was my mind that fogged? Did I inhale some toxic fumes that got me all heady with the fever of...him? I don't want to see this guy ever again. The anger and bitterness on my part have subsided since figuring he may have Borderline Personality Disorder--if he has this, he can't help how he acts, so I forgave. If I did see him, there would be a shock factor, but I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole if my life depended on it. I was so angry at him that if i could only make one phone call to save his life, I would have used that phone call to order a pizza. Now, I feel like I really don't care what he does because the end result will be the same as it has been with him--some girl is going to get very hurt emotionally by this man. Contacting these people who dumped us will do more harm than good and nothing good can come of it. Sure, he will give you your stuff back, but how awkward will that be. You will get through this. Whever you feel the need to call him, post in coping under that long thread about 'post here instead of contacting your ex"--it is cathartic.
mike588 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 i so feel like it was... cause he said he was so very much still attracted to me... but he wussed out cause he didn't want to be "stuck" (he was stuck in a really bad marriage for long time, I understand even if it seems stupid and immature to me.) because he seriously just pulled the plug; one day he is professing love to me, the next "i only like you, not love you"... Two weeks before my ex. dumped me for her ex. she had some surgery done and I was there for her...held her hand in the recovery room...stayed with her...took care of her for a week and she professed her love for/to me. A week later when she was on her feet...able to go back to work she tells me her feelings have changed...called me her friend then dumps me for him. Talk about being hurt and betrayed!!
Author gotye Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 tbh might have been mostly physical on both parts... I just know that I am so picky about what kind of guy I am attracted to and before him I dated guys solely for personality then him, he had a good personality and we had enough similar interests... but not a lot... we didn't converse hours on end as much as i wished... and it will take a while to find someone with both (not to say I am looking for brad pitt, no not at all... he was no brad pitt, people generally were like... "well, he looks like the kind of guy YOU would date")
Author gotye Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 Two weeks before my ex. dumped me for her ex. she had some surgery done and I was there for her...held her hand in the recovery room...stayed with her...took care of her for a week and she professed her love for/to me. A week later when she was on her feet...able to go back to work she tells me her feelings have changed...called me her friend then dumps me for him. Talk about being hurt and betrayed!! ugh, that is so being used. I am afraid I might have done that to an ex... we are fine now and talk once in a while... he has a new gf and I am happy for him... but ya, he was there for me for something serious and like a month later I dumped him... people can be horrible like that, but there is seriously no good time to break up
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 i so feel like it was... cause he said he was so very much still attracted to me... but he wussed out cause he didn't want to be "stuck" (he was stuck in a really bad marriage for long time, I understand even if it seems stupid and immature to me.) because he seriously just pulled the plug; one day he is professing love to me, the next "i only like you, not love you"... It was purely physical and he was trying to soften the blow by saying something nice after dumping you. Such a jerk.
Author gotye Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 It was purely physical and he was trying to soften the blow by saying something nice after dumping you. Such a jerk. well, I wont call him a jerk... but prob... and it's good I got out of it then! cause although it was pretty physical on my end too... I guess it opens me up to find that relationship with physical and mental more balanced... and he can go enjoy having little flings until he is too old and ugly. yaaaa
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 well, I wont call him a jerk... but prob... and it's good I got out of it then! cause although it was pretty physical on my end too... I guess it opens me up to find that relationship with physical and mental more balanced... and he can go enjoy having little flings until he is too old and ugly. yaaaa or until he gets an std.
Author gotye Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 I told him to expect someone next weekend to get it and he was like "it'd be nice to see you... but if you feel the need to send a messenger so be it" how the frick do i respond? I know he isn't interested in reconciling
Author gotye Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 and new update; I told him it seems unfair and he seems all mad about that
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