Author Nisha86 Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 He called me and told me he misses me and wants to be friends with benefits!!!!!!
TaraMaiden Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 and what did you reply? Other than slamming down the phone on him, that is?
Author Nisha86 Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 I told him to f*** off.. It makes me feel like crap... Cos I'm not good enough as s girlfriend but as a bit on the side is okay? He is really messing with my head... He text me last night I think he was drunk telling me that no one will ever want to be with me... Cos I'm ugly and fat... And that every guy I meet is going to treat me like **** cos that's what I deserve.. And he said he can't wait for the day I come running back to him! I don't understand he dumped me?!??
TaraMaiden Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 OK. Listen very carefully. this is the strongest signal yet that he is a total f**kwit and doesn't deserve to even be a thought in your head, let alone a presence in your life. Please - you came here for advice. you came here to gain comfort and counsel, support and suggestions. Please - now listen to what we have to tell, you, and if you really want our help and to get through this - please, please - do exactly what we advise: Delete his number, and block it on your phone. delete him from your email, or prevent yourself from reading his mails. Never answer the 'phone to him, and do not in any way shape or form let him get through to you - any how, any why, any where. read the no contact guide in my signature - and be absolutely certain and assured, that you have had one hell of a lucky escape.
2sunny Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 I agree with you that you have to qualify as your mate.. But when I told him that I can't lose the weight he told me that in every other way I'm perfect but this one thing is disappointing him. He wants to be with me only of I lose weight I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure . And he doesn't seem to understand what pressure I'm already going through. He's not worthy of loving you the way a man should. He should be supportive and loving... Yet he's just critical - and mean! Especially after demanding an abortion and then criticizing you after you're dealing with ending the potential life you were carrying. This man isn't worthy of you. Never settle! Run!
2sunny Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 IF YOU don't communicate with him - YOU stand a chance of NOT allowing him to treat you so terribly! He's showing really abusive behavior - maybe you are used to it - but I hope not! Stop allowing him to DO this to YOU! Tell him - no more - go away and allow me time to heal from all your abusive behavior!
Fitz Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Fitz, by your logic he would dump her eventually to trade in for a younger hotter model. If he is hung up on looks so much, then he is doing her a favor to cut now instead of wasting her youth on him. Everyone ages with time. Most people want someone who will stick with them through life. He isn't going to. and neither will you, if you think like this. that's okay, if you want a life of serial monogamy or singlehood. But, that isn't what most people are after. First of all, I agree that she should get rid of him. But my logic doesn't mean that he would "dump her eventually to trade in for a younger hotter model."
Fitz Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I think your thinking is thwarted. So not true at all. He's being superficial. If you really love someone, I get that attraction is what gets you there to begin with, but I have NEVER wanted to dump someone because the gained weight, I still loved them. My thinking is thwarted? By what? True. Most people don't just dump their partner because of the weight. But many do "fall in love" with someone who just so happens to be thinner, or taller, or younger, or richer... Again, I'm not saying that OP should stay with this guy. Sure, dump him.
Fitz Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 ...she is only a size 12; she doesn't need to lose it. If she wants to lose it, she will lose it for her and shame on anyone who suggests she should. Anyone who would say that to someone isn't in it for the long haul. if you are truly in love, weight gain/loss shouldn't be an issue unless there is a health issue, which I would hope the person would stick around for. and furthermore, if she stays with this cock knock, she will feel pressured to keep her weight down; afraid to relax and enjoy herself; it's controlling. The weight she needs to drop is HIM. And I don't think the OP wants to let him go because he is all she knows. But it would get worse over time because he will find other stuff he wants her to change. Somebody please take away his man points. Sure, if she doesn't want to lose the weight, then don't lose it. But to be blunt, the more she loses, the more dating options she'll have. So do you want to date more men, or do you want to keep your same eating and exercise habits? Either way, OP has to choose what makes her happy. I'm not saying one choice is better than the other. Sure, I agree that OP should dump this guy and move on.
2sunny Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 In response to all of your comments which I am grateful for.. Thanks it's really helping.. Look I'm not saying I'm perfect but correct me of I'm wrong but when you love someone ain't you supposed to accept and love their faults first and foremost? He calls me and tells me he still loves me and he's like please lose weight.. I feel like I'm the most ugliest person everytime he says that to me.. But when I explain that to him his response is having this effect on me.. And he says to me your one of the most beautiful women I know and you could get anyone.. But if you want me you have to lose weight.. It's just so messed up he's messing my head up big time.. He don't want to leave me alone either Lose it IF YOU want to lose it. But don't think of taking him back if/when you lose it. He showed he's just a pretentious guy who basis looks above the beauty of you...the inside. He ruined his chance when he said it the first time. No need to have any more conversations with him - he's not a man of value. 1
2sunny Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I'm tall and thin, curvy and toned. I've actually had men tell me they prefer a woman with some junk in their trunk. I tell them goodbye before they have a chance to finish their criticism of me not being fat ENOUGH for THEM. I like me - if they don't, too bad for them! I'm 50 years old and have the body of a 20 year old. Once they complain - I know it's about THEM and not me! Your guy is a complete azzhat!!! Maybe you are used to his asshat ways - but it's not normal or healthy to criticize someone you say you love. 2
Author Nisha86 Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 So I have had no contact... I have decided how bad he is for me... But guys what does it mean when he says to me.... Your the perfect woman in so many ways.. You can have any guy you want to.. And it would be so hard to find anyone to replace you... He text me this.. But he's the one who broke it off with me solely to do with my weight? Are all men really this shallow?
Author Nisha86 Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 Btw I just wanted to say thank you... I don't really have any friends and all of u have given me some great advice which I am really grateful for.xxxx
TaraMaiden Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 So I have had no contact... I have decided how bad he is for me... But guys what does it mean when he says to me.... Your the perfect woman in so many ways.. You can have any guy you want to.. And it would be so hard to find anyone to replace you... He text me this.. But he's the one who broke it off with me solely to do with my weight? Are all men really this shallow? No, but he's trying to manipulate you with sweet talk and flattering words. Do NOT respond - !! I bet you anything you want, if you do not respond, and he keeps sending you texts, they will become spiteful and cruel, because he realises you are no longer taking the bait....He's just trying to soften you up and make you submit again... Btw I just wanted to say thank you... I don't really have any friends and all of u have given me some great advice which I am really grateful for.xxxx Advice is only great, if you follow it.... If you don't follow it, it's just words on a page.... But we know that it works... Keep it up gal, you're doing great!!! 1
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