findingnemo Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 I wand to end the games. I want to end him playing me. I want to have a real, public relationship with him. I want him to make his words ("I never stopped loving you") true or step off and stop playing me. When I would end things. He'd show up at my door step. Even when HE ended things (so I thought) he'd show up at my church or house. I just bought my home, I don't want to move. I love my home. I want him to have more regard for me. It's really like the little red riding hood. He dressed in "first's" clothes, asked me to come closer so he could see/hear me better (saw that I was a gullible mess) and went in for the kill. Does he really think that low of me? That's all the respect he has for me? After I gave him my literally and figuratively gave him my all? I can't find a word for the pain I'm in. Does that make sense? Or do I sound as wacko as he is? You're not wacko. You're just blinded like Little Red Riding Hood by the fact that the Wolf is wearing Granny's clothes. You keep checking his ears, his teeth, his words, wondering why they are so off. Unfortunately since he isn't a real wolf, it won't be is easy for you to believe your intuition. Well...he is not a minister in the true sense of the word, you know. You need to follow your instinct. It's telling you that what you see and what is are two different things. God gave you the ability to think, the ability to sense things and you'd be doing Him a disservice if you don't use these abilities. Your life is great right now. Why do you want to give that up? For what? A man who is a fraud?
Author TrebleClef Posted April 2, 2012 Author Posted April 2, 2012 I snapped at him this morning and now I feel like he's about to vanish again. I'm naturally quiet and shy and wouldn't really express myself to him anyway (unless it was just too far and I'd have to knock his block off) but I really clammed up since, when I would say how I'm truly feeling, he'd somehow view it as an attack I guess and disappear. I was doing good. I wasn't obliging him and I told him "no" yesterday when he tried to manipulate me into asking him to come over. He went all around the bush instead of just saying I want to see you. He asked me if I wanted him to come over. He never says "may I come over to visit". He never says "Let me take you out". He'll say: Do you want me to come over or Do you want me to pick up dinner. I haven't held back these past couple of days. I've been telling him how I truly feel and IMO I feel like it's just too IRL for him and he wants out thus his vanishing again. I want to be like: HALLELUJAH!!!! GOOD RIDDANCE! but I'm not, I'm upset because I think he's gone again....thus my sinking instead of moving forward.
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