quietGuy13 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I hear how women complain about the guys they date.. are losers and hurt them and abuse them. BUT the thing is, they keep going for these same type of guys!!! They don't look for guys who are diffrent type of guys. For example, if you're a city girl and are dating club guys/playboy type hip hop types.. why not try a country guy or a mechanic who works hard. Why not try a guy who does Flower arranging and is peaceful and calm. Or a guy who is a nerd and is quiet and doens't talk much. Well this again goes back to the fact that most women like bad boys. So yeah, it's kinda your fault that you end up with bad relationships.
Professor X Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Don't try and understand a women... I knew a girl who mocked a guy for over a month, saying how pitiful, needy, pushy, controlling and what a loser he is. 2 month later she dates him, until today
mostlyclueless Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I think if you are dividing people into "types" that is your problem right there. There are no types of people, just people.
Teal Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 It's not always easy to tell. When a quiet, nerdy guy turns out to be a sociopath or settling for the one woman in his life who's ever looked his way because he's desperate to lose his virginity, what can you do besides plant your face into your desk and sob? If women beeline for guys who clearly have the same sets of distinctively negative or incompatible personality traits it's a problem, but it's not only those who pick the obvious bad boys who wind up with trouble. People can be bad in subtle ways, too.
ditzchic Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I've recently been wondering the same thing about myself... I tend to date pretty boy techies. Guys that are into computers, video games, cars that kind of thing. It's been awhile since I've actually felt a "connection" with someone. I myself am into more physical things. I'm very active and do things like rock climbing, yoga, biking, running that kind of thing. Things that require a mind-body connection. The techie stuff doesn't really require that same connection. So how can we "connect"? I'm now thinking of expanding the types of guys I date into the more spiritual, outdoorsy and artsy types. We'll see if it works out!
AriesBunny Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Do not try to understand them, just talk to them. Did you know in American history; American Native Indians would kidnap white women. The white men would rescue their women from the supposed savages. Some women ended up going back to the Native Americans because there was excitement. Quiet guy, you need to make them wet and show some excitement. 1
waiting4u Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I've always gone for really arrogant types of men. Cockiness was a real turn-on for me, and I wanted them to have some kind of flashy degree or job or some such thing. I learned over time, however, that arrogance often comes with "emotional unavailability" and a sense of entitlement and selfishness. Not only were many of these men abusive, they didn't understand me very well. I'm rather emotional and sensitive. I've been in therapy a few years and learned that I liked these men because of experiences in childhood - for some reason I felt I deserved to be mistreated. The new guy I'm dating took a while to sort of "win me over" because he just not like that. In fact, he's probably more emotional and sensitive than I am - if that's even possible. Of course, this new relationship is not without its issues, but I feel like I've turned a corner as far as destructive dating goes. Yeah, women go for "bad boys" and all that, and for me it was a virility thing in some sense. For a man to be a "man" in my eyes meant he had to be sort of arrogant, so it may be a genetic attraction thing - idk. My point is that women go for the wrong type over and over again because that is what they are used to - they think love is supposed to hurt or its not love. I hope that makes a little sense.
dasein Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 The sperm of bad boys have straighter tails, they swim better. It's true, my friend's cousin read it on a blog. 4
Joaquin Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I dont know about types. I think its really about whether two people are on the same page at the same time. Timing really is so important.
Els Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Because you, my dear 'Why does a shy guy not deserve to have hot women? Does being shy mean I have to settle for fat women?' fellow, are certainly not going to hurt women and are going to treat them as the individual persons that they want to be treated as, correct? 3
SJC2008 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 It's a gut level attraction that draws a woman to a man. Now we subconsciously seek partners out. I hardly have a gut attraction but when I do I'm like obsessed because it feels good and it's weird because when you are with them it seems normal and when you are away from them you cant stop thinking about them.
Ursa Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 The truth is, many women and men make mistakes in their early years of dating, are drawn to the wrong people, and have bad relationships. Over time, many of these people learn from their mistakes, get more wisdom about interpersonal dynamics, and their relationships and relationship choices evolve and grow. Many other people don't learn, and they stagnate and repeat the same vicious cycles over and over again. That's just the way it is, regardless of sex and gender politics.
udolipixie Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 (edited) I hear how women complain about the guys they date.. are losers and hurt them and abuse them. BUT the thing is, they keep going for these same type of guys!!! No different than guys who whine and complain about the gals they want who don't want them. How those gals are dating losers or etc and he's better suited however she has standards that rule him out. It's attraction. Whether it's attraction due to physical attractiveness as many gals attest to bad boys tend to be attractive while most nice/decent/good guys are ugly or at best average. Or attraction because she's an emotional rollercoaster rider or has low self-esteem and likes being treated badly. Often people would rather shift through the **** than force attraction to someone. Some gals would rather work to improve the non bf and non decent human being qualities of the bad boy who is attractive, interesting, and fun to be around rather than force attraction to the bf quality/decent human being guy who is unattractive, boring, and tedious/a drag to be around who will just provide her a secure relationship vs a happy & healthy one. They don't look for guys who are diffrent type of guys. For example, if you're a city girl and are dating club guys/playboy type hip hop types.. why not try a country guy or a mechanic who works hard. Why not try a guy who does Flower arranging and is peaceful and calm. Or a guy who is a nerd and is quiet and doens't talk much. The why not is most likely they're not attracted to those guys. Those types of guys are most likely missing something whether it's physical attractiveness, fun to be around, interesting, or confidence. It's like asking a guy who is attracted to thin gals why not go out with an obese gal if you're not doing well with thin gals and none want to date you. Well this again goes back to the fact that most women like bad boys. So yeah, it's kinda your fault that you end up with bad relationships. It's attraction. Bad relationships doesn't automatically mean the partner was a bad gal/bad guy it could just be incompatibility, immaturity, or incidents of insensitive. After all plenty of self-proclaimed nice/decent/good guys make insulting, degrading, and dehumanizing remarks about women as a whole excusing it with sadness and anger. One could say guys for guys if you don't have a relationship it goes back to the fact that most guys are too picky and stubborn. So yeah it's kinda your fault that you end up with no to low experiences/relationships. Saying it to me doesn't make it true for the general population unless there is statistics, studies, and factual evidence to back it up. Edited March 30, 2012 by udolipixie
grkBoy Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I hear how women complain about the guys they date.. are losers and hurt them and abuse them. BUT the thing is, they keep going for these same type of guys!!! They don't look for guys who are diffrent type of guys. For example, if you're a city girl and are dating club guys/playboy type hip hop types.. why not try a country guy or a mechanic who works hard. Why not try a guy who does Flower arranging and is peaceful and calm. Or a guy who is a nerd and is quiet and doens't talk much. Well this again goes back to the fact that most women like bad boys. So yeah, it's kinda your fault that you end up with bad relationships. You know, I have a friend who has been hurt countless times by many guys. Even knocked up by one. Yet she still is attracted to "working class Italian" types or "shallow yuppies dripping with testosterone" types. Pain is always the best teacher for men and women. If women want to keep chasing men who continually hurt them, then they dug their own hole. Don't ask, wonder, worry, or wish on those women. They are "damaged" in my book. They won't make you happy in life, even if they suddenly decided to drop their "type" and go for the average-looking bland guy. It's the same thing when I see guys complain why all the successful smart women are ugly and all the hot women are airheads who work a crappy job meant for a teenager. This is life. Those guys can keep chasing "trophies" and end up hurt or burned by them, or rethink it all and try for someone else. Man or woman, I tell them if they keep chasing a standard that only gets them hurt, then they need to rethink it. You can only lead the horse to water, but they have to take a drink. Too many won't.
Negative Nancy Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 For example, if you're a city girl and are dating club guys/playboy type hip hop types.. why not try a country guy or a mechanic who works hard. this coming from a guy who wonders why he "doesn't have the right" to a hot, beautiful girlfriend? the irony in men's statements never ceases to amaze me 2
joystickd Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Some of them i wonder why don't they just go lesbian
prune juice Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 this coming from a guy who wonders why he "doesn't have the right" to a hot, beautiful girlfriend? the irony in men's statements never ceases to amaze me but females will be seduced by a jerk in a bar, sleep with him, say they regret it and they aren't that type of girl. then she does it again. when same female is introduced to a male who is husband material he's dismissed as boring. 1
stillafool Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I.. why not try a country guy or a mechanic who works hard. What makes you think a guy who lives in the country or a mechanic can't be a 'bad boy'? I'm sure there are many.
stillafool Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 but females will be seduced by a jerk in a bar, sleep with him, say they regret it and they aren't that type of girl. then she does it again. when same female is introduced to a male who is husband material he's dismissed as boring. If so, why are there so many married women? Are they all married to 'bad boys'?
ditzchic Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Some of them i wonder why don't they just go lesbian I say the same things about guys all the time when they do their complaining. There are things about the opposite sex the other side will never be able to grasp. Our brains are just wired differently. If you want someone who can read your mind gay is the only way to go.
prune juice Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 If so, why are there so many married women? Are they all married to 'bad boys'? with the epidemic of spousal abuse i'd say quite a lot are. your name is stillafool. that says it all.
prune juice Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I say the same things about guys all the time when they do their complaining. There are things about the opposite sex the other side will never be able to grasp. Our brains are just wired differently. If you want someone who can read your mind gay is the only way to go. a difference is males say what they mean and mean what they say. females will say they want the good husband material guy but will go for the jerk party dude over and over. why can't females just admit thats what they desire. cause it's hard wired to be dishonest. 1
udolipixie Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 a difference is males say what they mean and mean what they say. females will say they want the good husband material guy but will go for the jerk party dude over and over. why can't females just admit thats what they desire. cause it's hard wired to be dishonest. Or perhaps they want the jerk party dude to be the good husband guy. Like may guys want the good sweet wife gal and want her to the the hot or attractive gal. There's also the factor a guy may think he's good husband/boyfriend/partner material and the gal may disagree or think he's not good husband/boyfriend/partner material for her. 4
ThaWholigan Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Or perhaps they want the jerk party dude to be the good husband guy. Like may guys want the good sweet wife gal and want her to the the hot or attractive gal. There's also the factor a guy may think he's good husband/boyfriend/partner material and the gal may disagree or think he's not good husband/boyfriend/partner material for her. To add to that, why feel the need to box yourself into such rigid character presets? Isn't it better to augment yourself to be a much more multidynamic individual?? 1
ditzchic Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 a difference is males say what they mean and mean what they say. females will say they want the good husband material guy but will go for the jerk party dude over and over. why can't females just admit thats what they desire. cause it's hard wired to be dishonest. Sure that's why there are so many guys out there that are looking for "wifey" material but want her to be a certain weight and attractiveness and they want her to put out early and often. And then when they manage to find a desireable wifey type that meets all those criteria they get all insecure and needy when they realize there is a ton of competition for her. That's why they get left in the dust for the "bad boys" who don't project their needs onto a woman. Like I said, men and women are wired differently. We think different ways and we want different things. We just don't get each other and it's something we have to learn how to manage. If you don't try to learn to manage the differences your dating life will suck. Once you realize we are just different and you accept it and do the best work you can, your dating life will improve.
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