starla33 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 the one i posted about a few days ago that is treating me like a friend (well verbally...he is affectionate other than that). I've realized I'm not interested in him at this point. I want someone that after a few dates that will want to see me more than once a week and that will also be verbally flirty and affectionate. Unfortunate as I did really like him at first.
Author starla33 Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 Yep, this is how it goes! Does this make me needy? I just need to feel that someone is really into me and he doesn't seem that into me or our communication styles don't work.
Emilia Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Does this make me needy? I just need to feel that someone is really into me and he doesn't seem that into me or our communication styles don't work. Nope, it makes you normal. You are not getting what you want so you are moving on. A needy person would be nagging his or her victim. 2
ditzchic Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Does this make me needy? I just need to feel that someone is really into me and he doesn't seem that into me or our communication styles don't work. You're not needy. You just know what you want and you recognize when it's time to move on. Needy would be you forcing your needs on the guy to the point of annoyance. Moving on is the opposite of needy. 1
Author starla33 Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 You're not needy. You just know what you want and you recognize when it's time to move on. Needy would be you forcing your needs on the guy to the point of annoyance. Moving on is the opposite of needy. My friends tell me to relax and go with the flow as some people like to take things slower than me i guess....but I mean hes taking it VERY slow
ditzchic Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 My friends tell me to relax and go with the flow as some people like to take things slower than me i guess....but I mean hes taking it VERY slow Your friends have a point. Different people do move at different speeds. Personally, I prefer to only see someone once or twice a week for the first few months. But that is all a part of compatibility. He's not wrong for moving at his speed and your not wrong for moving at yours. If it's not working, it's not working. And honestly, if you liked the guy enough this wouldn't be a problem. You'd be happy to deal with it. We all make compromises for something we really want. But you've recognized it's a problem so it is what it is.
Author starla33 Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 Your friends have a point. Different people do move at different speeds. Personally, I prefer to only see someone once or twice a week for the first few months. But that is all a part of compatibility. He's not wrong for moving at his speed and your not wrong for moving at yours. If it's not working, it's not working. And honestly, if you liked the guy enough this wouldn't be a problem. You'd be happy to deal with it. We all make compromises for something we really want. But you've recognized it's a problem so it is what it is. Well not to mention I met him online so if he makes time to only see me once a week it makes me think hes dating a bunch of others
FitChick Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Most women seem to complain about the opposite - how the guy wants to get into bed too quickly. 2
ditzchic Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Well not to mention I met him online so if he makes time to only see me once a week it makes me think hes dating a bunch of others Or.. he has other stuff going on. Hence why he doesn't get a lot of time to hang out. Hence why he's doing online dating. Have you asked him if he's seeing other people? It's perfectly acceptable to ask.
Author starla33 Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 Or.. he has other stuff going on. Hence why he doesn't get a lot of time to hang out. Hence why he's doing online dating. Have you asked him if he's seeing other people? It's perfectly acceptable to ask. Well on our first date he told me he goes on a lot of online dates....so that pretty much sums it up.
ditzchic Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Well on our first date he told me he goes on a lot of online dates....so that pretty much sums it up. OK I think we are getting to the real problem now. You want exclusivity and aren't sure if he's thinking the same thing. Your taking his infrequency of contact and attention as a sign that he doesn't. You've been out on a couple dates. It's ok to ask him if he is seeing other people. And if he says he is, it's acceptable to tell him that you like dating exclusively and see if he is on the same page. I'm a multi-dater too. I'm usually pretty upfront with that when I meet someone for the first time. I would never be offended if a guy asked me these questions. I would be pretty put off if he thought he could read my mind without asking for me first though... Just ask him. You have nothing to lose if you are thinking about walking away anyway.
Author starla33 Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 OK I think we are getting to the real problem now. You want exclusivity and aren't sure if he's thinking the same thing. Your taking his infrequency of contact and attention as a sign that he doesn't. You've been out on a couple dates. It's ok to ask him if he is seeing other people. And if he says he is, it's acceptable to tell him that you like dating exclusively and see if he is on the same page. I'm a multi-dater too. I'm usually pretty upfront with that when I meet someone for the first time. I would never be offended if a guy asked me these questions. I would be pretty put off if he thought he could read my mind without asking for me first though... Just ask him. You have nothing to lose if you are thinking about walking away anyway. Yeah but im not interested anymore
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