otherfish Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 After an LDR breakup (say 2yrs or more), IF the WOMAN (dumper), thru total NC, eventually realizes her mistake and truly wants her MAN back....nothing will stop HER from letting HIM know that she wants HIM?? Thoughts, opinions, input....etc. GO!
Philosoraptor Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 If anyone truly works on themselves and sees their ex as a fit they will take the steps necessary to make it known that they want a relationship. But you can't move heaven and earth for someone who doesn't seem to be interested in a reconciliation. 1
alphamale Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 true but she probably has some negative motives behind it....
Author otherfish Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 You are a smart man, phil. Truly respected on this site. Tks, those words, simple and to the point summed everything up for me...tks again. 1
Mack05 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 (edited) If anyone truly works on themselves and sees their ex as a fit they will take the steps necessary to make it known that they want a relationship. But you can't move heaven and earth for someone who doesn't seem to be interested in a reconciliation. I agree with Philo but you need to change your thought process. One of my favourite replies on this site is this.. “If they lacked the capacity to be accountable before the breakup, it's not likely they'll suddenly develop it afterwards. I'm sure it happens, but it requires a lot of willingness to grow on the dumper's behalf-- and like I said, if they didn't arrive with that capacity at the beginning of the relationship, it takes a pretty dynamic, special person to develop it on the way out... which, sadly, isn't a trait that abounds with most people in general, let alone those who are predisposed to dumping their partners." If you are expecting your ex to suddenly 'see the light' you will probably be waiting a long time (i.e. there is a VERY high probability that it won't happen). You just need to reach an acceptance that your ex has a different thought process to you. You need to stop yourself wondering like this. As soon as you come to acceptance that she is never coming back, the sooner you can start living and enjoying life again..Use this time for self improvement. I can't stress enough how focusing on yourself, improves your overall life as a whole. I suppose the simple answer to your question is if an ex realises they made a mistake, YES they will indeed move heaven and earth to get you back..My point is, just don't be expecting this to happen. You are only setting yourself up for more hurt and disappointment.. Edited March 29, 2012 by Mack05 3
leoc1973 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I think what you are asking is if she loves you will her pride stop her from calling even tho she really wants you back. Am I correct? I have read your other posts and I think she "butt dialed" you one time or something like that right? Well then even if she has too call then she will pull another thing like that if she really wants to. I look at it as having that kind of pride to lose someone you love forever is not a good quality. I am no psycologist but I would bet that having pride to that level is actually someone who is damaged in some way. My ex and I actually had this conversation a few months back. She went from no contact for months to all the signs of wanting me back. I actually told her at one point that if she wants me back she is going to have to actually swollow her pride and ask. She said "you know I never would do that" I said "ok I will do it for you, do you wanna give it another try" She said "nope". All those signs were breadcrumbs. I was furious with her and told her that she wasn't the girl I thought she was and all her breadcrumb were really ****ty and asked her why she would play that game with me when she knows I am hurting. Anyways long story short. I told her that I don't wanna ever hear from her again and if she wanted me back then she was going to have to come right out and say it. If not leave me alone and don't ever bother me agian. But to anwer your question. Yes I do think there are people who have too much pride. And if so then they are not good girlfriend/boyfriend material because obviously they have communication problems to start with.
johan Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 It's a typical feminist move. Justly another way to try to keep the Man down.
CaliBabe Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I think pride is a huge factor. People don't want to look weak and desparate so although ideally, if someone wants you back they "should" make it obvious. I think other times it depends on the egotistical mind of the dumper.
Mack05 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I think pride is a huge factor. People don't want to look weak and desparate so although ideally, if someone wants you back they "should" make it obvious. I think other times it depends on the egotistical mind of the dumper. I think Pride Cali is the worst reason to lose someone over.."Well I am alone but at least I have my righteous anger to keep my company"..That is so not a life I want to lead. I would happily leave pride aside to get a girl I loved back.. 1
cflowers32 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I think Pride Cali is the worst reason to lose someone over.."Well I am alone but at least I have my righteous anger to keep my company"..That is so not a life I want to lead. I would happily leave pride aside to get a girl I loved back.. I agree. If you don't try, you may never know. I don't ever want to regret, and even if would not be what I wanted, I would know that I put myself out there. It's worth it to me.
leoc1973 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I just think if someone really wants you back because they truely love you and they are not just bored/lonely then they WILL swallow thier pride. If they can't then they just have themselves on way too high a pedistal so I will just stay away from that trainwreck.
budley12 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 You need to stop yourself wondering like this. As soon as you come to acceptance that she is never coming back, the sooner you can start living and enjoying life again..Use this time for self improvement. I can't stress enough how focusing on yourself, improves your overall life as a whole. How long does it usually take to truly accept that it is OVER. My ex and i were each others firsts and he broke it off 4months ago. He is now dating someone new and I think my ex broke up with me to be with the new person. I want to move on, yet I have hopes of us getting back. I have been NC for 8weeks now but I am so close to breaking it just to talk and see how he is.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 OF your ex, like many women, will be too afraid of rejection to come right out and say it. She will feel you out in a way that is harmless to her pride. Maybe a text message that means nothing, something for you to take the reigns. Depends on the individual. Example: My ex told me in January that she will come look for me when she can be with me. I didnt buy it, shes too proud. I also didnt believe that she wanted to get back with me. A couple weeks after that, I texted her, she ignored me, fine, I left her alone. Earlier this month, instead of coming out and texting me, she initiated a cellphone game with me. Weve been taking turns on this game, but I'm pretty sure she is trying to get me to text her first. Im not doing it, its her turn to take the risk. When I didnt respond to the game for 3 days, she defriended me on facebook. At this point, I already know I'm not getting back with her, I have someone else occupying my time. Im just riding this out to see if I can see what she does, so I can learn the behavior. I need her to know I dont need her and I dont care if she never takes the risk. So depending on the woman, I would say most likely no, they will not make it obvious. You will have to pry it out of them. They will make it look like you have to work for them again, when they should be working for you.
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