starla33 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 But why turn dating into such an unpleasant experience that you have to hire a coach and force yourself to do something you normally wouldn't do? Isn't dating supposed to be fun?? Sure but how much time would you save going on online first dates and feeling no chemistry? When you can just go up to someone and tell within the first few minutes.
phineas Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I have an account on OkCupid, filled it out a bit with movie interests/ details about my life and what I'm doing. But I have no picture up, just my height, no other physical details other than my age. So, I only email guys I'm interested in, and I sometimes receive random emails from guys, but nothing exciting. I have one date lined up, and after that, I may post a pic to see what happens (isn't OLD funny?) and ya, like someone said, it could be interesting to see the differences post- picture. But heres the thing... I HATE the idea of having people i know see me on this site. There is a guy i know that is on the site, so i can only imagine there are others. Does anyone not feel the slightest bit, erm, embarrassed about being on it? For reference, I'm 24. I think if I did put up a pic, I would take down a few details about myself. He's on the site also. So I don't see a reason why you should feel embarrassed.
phineas Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 To be honest I agree that online dating has kind of ruined relationships and marriages(cheating websites). It is MUCH easier for a man to go and cheat on his wife these days with a click of a button. I'm ALL for guys approaching and real life. I respect that so much and it shows confidence. The guys I have met online have told me flat out they never approach guys at bars....maybe this is why my online dating experiences never work out? Something is just off. For the record my wife met her boyfriend online dating. wait wat?
phineas Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Sure but how much time would you save going on online first dates and feeling no chemistry? When you can just go up to someone and tell within the first few minutes. How many 1st dates have you gone on with guys you met in real life then changed your mind afterword? You really aren't making sense here considering you are still online dating according to one of your recent posts.
Feelsgoodman Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Sure but how much time would you save going on online first dates and feeling no chemistry? When you can just go up to someone and tell within the first few minutes. So how often do you approach men in real life?
starla33 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 How many 1st dates have you gone on with guys you met in real life then changed your mind afterword? You really aren't making sense here considering you are still online dating according to one of your recent posts. Yes I am, but I don't have good luck on them so I'm not really for them.
Cypress25 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Sure but how much time would you save going on online first dates and feeling no chemistry? When you can just go up to someone and tell within the first few minutes. The problem with a lot of guys who approach women in bars is that they are drunk. If a guy stumbles over to me, slurs his words while chatting me up, keeps repeating himself, and rubs himself all over me in an attempt to be flirtatious, do you think I'm going to feel any chemistry? Maybe if he was sober, he wouldn't be acting like such a dumbass and then there would be chemistry. I don't understand why so many guys go out to bars specifically to pick up women, and then ruin their chances by drinking themselves stupid before hitting on a girl. That kind of real-life approach is utterly pointless. I can't tell anything about the guy's true personality when he's wasted.
phineas Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Yes I am, but I don't have good luck on them so I'm not really for them. you didn't fully answer my question. How many 1st dates have you been on with men you met in person & then later changed your mind?
udolipixie Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I just don't get it. I've always refused to do on line dating. It seems like, as a guy, it takes balls to approach a woman you don't know and express sexual interest. Ladies, you don't realize it, but that is NOT an easy thing to do. To say it's challenging is an understatement. To me it's not easy because she's a human being who can say no. People often don't find things difficult if there is a chance of not getting what they want. From experiences/observations many men don't take the word "no" from a woman well and not reciprocating his attraction tends to be an ego blow or hurt his pride. About a year ago, I was on this restaurant patio and a really beautiful woman and I started talking. She was cold as ice. She explained that she had just put her profile up online earlier that day and within a matter of hours, she had over 50 e-mails from men who wanted to date her. Of course, my "cold approach" wasn't received well and I think this online dating thing had a lot to do with it. How could she possibly appreciate any guy who approaches her when she just got the ego boost of a lifetime from over 50 different guys??? To me it may have been more of a "has options so she's not sticking to the first thing that pops up" than " doesn't appreciate". Then again to me why should she appreciate any guy who does such a thing? It's normal social interaction does he need appreciation, applause, and gratitude for that. Ladies, did it ever occur to you, the loser, coward guys doing online dating don't have the stones to approach real women in real life??? Is that really attractive to you??? [/ They are literally sitting behind a keyboard, not taking any chances at all, trying to be sexy. I just don't see how a woman could find this behavior sexually attractive. From my perspective, OLD has ruined marriages that would have otherwise never been ruined. And OLD has made women way less appreciative of the men who have the stones to approach in real life and express interest. To me that may actually be a good thing. Rather than getting an ego boost/validation from a random guy a gal may be more inclined to evaluate whether she likes this guy and is attracted to him physically. Rather than go for the guy since he approach her and she's oh so appreciative. Then again I don't see why women should be appreciative of men approaching them as it tends to spiral down into give him a chance and etc. And it's also enabled guys with no game to multi-date, which is probably, really multi-sleeping in most cases. I just can't think of one positive thing to say about OLD. Call me old fashioned.
udolipixie Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 (edited) * edit Ladies, did it ever occur to you, the loser, coward guys doing online dating don't have the stones to approach real women in real life??? Is that really attractive to you??? They are literally sitting behind a keyboard, not taking any chances at all, trying to be sexy. I just don't see how a woman could find this behavior sexually attractive. That's a wide and most likely self-serving generalization. And OLD has made women way less appreciative of the men who have the stones to approach in real life and express interest. To me that may actually be a good thing. Rather than getting an ego boost/validation from a random guy a gal may be more inclined to evaluate whether she likes this guy and is attracted to him physically. Rather than go for the guy since he approach her and she's oh so appreciative. Then again I don't see why women should be appreciative of men approaching them as it tends to spiral down into give him a chance and etc. Edited March 30, 2012 by udolipixie
zengirl Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 The problem with a lot of guys who approach women in bars is that they are drunk. If a guy stumbles over to me, slurs his words while chatting me up, keeps repeating himself, and rubs himself all over me in an attempt to be flirtatious, do you think I'm going to feel any chemistry? Maybe if he was sober, he wouldn't be acting like such a dumbass and then there would be chemistry. I don't understand why so many guys go out to bars specifically to pick up women, and then ruin their chances by drinking themselves stupid before hitting on a girl. That kind of real-life approach is utterly pointless. I can't tell anything about the guy's true personality when he's wasted. True. Though I have never had that issue past college years. Then again, the bars I went to were generally of the more hipster-esque (not all "real" hipsters with their attitudes and trusties in there but people who seem kinda hipster-ish, like me, and yet poke fun at hipsters --- that's like most of hipster culture right there) craft beer bars or other more "hang" type places. Funny enough, one of the most popular beer bars is across the street from a disgusting, gross, Jersey Shore (the show, not place)-ish, college & people who didn't grow out of it club type place, and sitting outside and watching the parade of idiots is something we did on more than one occasion, so I have no trouble imagining it happens. Just. . . why would anyone go to a place like that to talk to people in the first place? (Not all clubs are as gross as that club, but most seem pretty gross to me.)
FitChick Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Just because you meet a man in person first and find him physically attractive doesn't mean he has long term or marriage potential. If you just want a fling, then that's okay. 1
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