swfc_77 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Basically I'm with a young women I'm 25 today, she 23. She is a nice girl and we have come over to NZ to visit her parents and for me to meet them, I paid because we both needed a break and it felt right I met her parents and show them she is doing ok and fine despite living in England with me. For those who know me, this is not the same girl from previous posts, not my ex I ranted on about last yr. The problem iv got is that she has changed so, so much since we got to NZ, rude to me, demanding money and really kicking off when I tell her to curb the spending, and to chill. She has be one distant, moody and I feel rather out of place at the minute and quite uncomfortable. When we have a disagreement she will raise her voice to like attrack attention from her family, she is not like this in England she is opinionated and speaks her mind at home, but she has never been so aggressive and bothered about money like she has here. It's bothering me, a lot. Her family are trying to get us to move here, which at first I was open to the idea of doing 6-12 months as there is good prospects here for me and work at home has dropped of somewhat. But the way she has acted toasted me has done nothing to make me want to come here and love with her family. She has not seen them for 3 years. If anyone can shed light on why she is being like this it would be appreciated, I am a little lost for some advice as I'm on my own at other side of world to home and my family. I made a mistake with the last relationship and thought I picked up experience and knowledge, I'm hoping this girl doesnt turn out like the last. I do love her, we are good together but I have not let myself get too emotionally attached, she knows we are both young and we want to enjoy being with each other there should be no pressure on either of us. Iv tried to approach this relationship as mature as I know and it worries me that i am starting to question things so early. Thanks in advance.
dasein Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 No one here can tell you why she is acting this way. What I can tell you is that people put their best foot forward at the start of relationships, sometimes that best foot is the way they really are, sometimes it's not. Sometimes it takes years for the veneer to start to fade, sometimes months. If you are lucky it only takes a few weeks or months. Respect is very important. Only you can decide to what extent you will allow yourself to be disrespected.
Kuen Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I don't know why she acted like that but the way she's treating you is not good anymore. It's like her true color comes out and good thing you found it out. If she truly love's you she wont change for who she is. If I were to put my self on you I will break up on her because she just pretending when your together.
Joaquin Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Watch out for NZers. They are quite happy to let others pay for them. In fact, they are perhaps the scabbiest bunch I have ever come across. Its probably the Scottish in their ancestry. As for your girl, she sounds like a user. She used you to get a trip home and she would probably be happy for you to piss off so she could party with her mates. She is acting the maggot, so leave her there. Is it not your holiday to? She has her family so let her sponge of them. One thing about kiwi girls, they will walk all over you if you let them. They are not for the faint hearted guy.
amog4l Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 you are young... there are plenty of opportunity to be happy bro. If you can be happy than so be it, dont ever let anyone take you down. amog4l
Author swfc_77 Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 She is usually ok, I booked this trip as a surprise for Xmas because she had had a rough time before we got together and it made sense that she saw her family, I met them and we both could have a break. She doesn't want to party with friends, she is more laid back and would rather stay home with a glass of wine and relax. All I can put it down too is maybe she is showing off, a new found sense of confidence with her having her family around her, but she cannot see that this then Isolates me slightly especially if we have argued which is usually about silly, petty things. I have really enjoyed myself here and it is a wonderful country and I could make a real go of it here, the lifestyle would be so much better than england. Every kiwi I have met has been nice, even encouraged me to try it out here. We talked about the arguing and why she has suddenly turned aggressive & moody. She doesn't know why, but agrees she has. I told her I would not put up with any ****, iv had it before off women and I am not scared to say enough is enough and walk away from a relationship that is not working. We are usually ok back in uk, and we go back soon so maybe she will cool down again when we are home, if she doesn't I'll cross that bridge if I reach it. It's just a shame really, and I can't understand that on one hand she wants me to move here, but on the other she has slightly ruined it by being a bitch.
Joaquin Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Your just getting to know the girl. This is the who she is. Id never stay with a girl who could run me down in front of her family. Zero respect there.
Author swfc_77 Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 Ps. She is not a kiwi, her family moved here 7 yrs ago. Like said, it a really nice place good opportunity and lifestyle I can't understand why she has turned moody, aggressive and snappy when we are supposed to be chillin out and relaxing. I'm torn with the question would it be like this if we moved, and if it was that I couldn't stand it for long and would walk. I have to think what's best for both of us despite it being a nice place, I would come here in a flash but if it ruined my relationship then I'm not too sure.
Author swfc_77 Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 Joaquin - she is not a bad lass, I agree she has lacked respect while we have been here, she understands this and I have told her straight to stop being a bitch and so aggressive because even if she is stood there with her whole family I will let blow up at her and tell her how it is. I don't give a **** whose there, there's only so much crap I will take. We'll have to see if our chat has sunk in and it might make a difference over the coming days. Cheers.
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