Kamila Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Well, the moment that I walked away from him, i basically shut down. Something snapped. He didn't want me, he didn't stood up for me, he was just 'indecisive'...so i just left. And with indecisive, I didn't meant a ring or a wedding. I just wanted him to give me 'something' to hold on to. And him telling me that he went on a date before wasn't helping ... He texted me a couple of times, asking me how I was doing, wishing me happy holidays, happy birthday, stuff like that. Early on we had a conversation and we basically told each other that we're not 'compatible'. Whatever that means ... And at the year 1 post break-up, he texted me that he still thought a lot about me and that he would like to hear from me again. But that he understood that I won't. I never replied to that message. That was 6 months ago. I haven't talked to him now because he's now with another woman since a couple of months. I just want to get on with my life and leave him alone. At hellodearest, you just find your way in life, alone if you have to. Don't put your life on hold for one person.
robkris8079 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I think the only way we can find our way in life with someone else is to find our way in life alone first. If I'm not happy with myself all alone I can't rely on someone else to make me happy. My goal this breakup is to broaden my circle of friends. Mine alone and not made with a significant other. I have some but I want more! Another goal is to be totally financially responsible for everything that is mine. I sort of did this years ago but got so comfortable with my recent ex and she argued with me to take over bills and help pay for things I sort of let my guard down on this one. Live and learn!
Hopeful83 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 i just recently did the breaking up. i had a boyfriend who treated me awesome but i royally ****ed it up. he was wonderful to me.. i was wishy washy and unstable and he wanted to commit- and i wasnt ready and wasnt sure. so i broke it off. now he is dating someone else (almost immediately after) and i am devastated and hating myself for my actions. i feel such guilt i cant even begin to explain. i am staying away though bc i am unsure if my current feelings are true missing him or just being upset bc he has moved on so quickly. we had a very passionate intense relationship. but to all of you wondering if the dumpers miss the dumpees- the answer (in my case) is YES. desperately. i will stay away from my fellow and let time do what is best, because i messed things up so much. my deep down- in my heart of hearts i pray i may get a second chance one day. i wouldnt wish this pain on anyone. but sadly, i know i needed to go through this, i needed to see what i took for granted. if i ever got my second chance, i feel pretty damn certain i wouldnt be such an idiot. i truly think people can change, they just have to realize their mistakes, and sometimes go through enough pain to make changes. sigh.
cincinnatikid Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Only did it once. I've been on the receiving end about 50/50. The last time I broke up with a girl, I did feel awful about it. I was living in New York at the time and she came to visit me a few times. After awhile, she insisted she thought about moving there and starting a life. I was only 23 going on 24 at the time and was just trying to get moving freelancing. It scared the living crap out of me thinking about getting myself off the ground while balancing a relationship with someone. I had to break it off only because I knew that if she moved to be with me it would have been terrible for her and I would have hated myself for allowing her to get put in that position. We still chat here and there (very intermittently) ever since. In fact, last time I saw her I was at local festival with my now ex. She came right up to me, we shared a hug and she said to give my parents her best and we chatted for a few minutes. Had I allowed her the idea I really wanted her to move to NYC and live with me, she would probably wish me every single ill thing the world could provide me. Instead, I let her go for her sake and I'm glad I did. She moved to Colorado, got her M.D. and is doing extremely well.
tornangel Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 yes I did the breaking up. And it was sooo hard , because I honestly loved my ex.It is still hard, and I miss him still. I have broke up with every guy I have ever dated tho. So I probably have comitment problems.But my last ex was soooooo abusive and insecure it drove me away. So last few wks ago I got wasted and fb him, uggghhh. Was so mad at myself. I do love him, so if people think that the dumpers dont hurt, they are wrong. I have has plenty of oppurtunities to date guys, just not in it. Its Friday night, I went to the gym and now I am going to bed alone. Not sure why, maybe not over the ex or maybe not wanting to date period. I dont wanna really go thru it all again or put the effort into it... anyways , was just saying my feelings on the topic
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