thatone Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I think people are just scared of being scared, so they opt for rules and frameworks that avoid them being vulnerable. Seeing flirting as wrong prevents vulnerability. It also prevents connection. It depends on the intent of the action too, as that will guide the direction of the relationship. If you want to use someone, hoodwink them into something they have the impression may be something else, delude or deceive, it'd be something that doesn't rest well with decent guys. But if you do it because you like the other person and you feel amorous, or attracted to them, and want to display that in a way that's enjoyable and doesn't pressure them too much, and are willing to accept they have the choice to decline your advances, and respect their decision either way, it isn't deceptive or nasty, and by opening your self up to the other person, you open the door for a connection to be made. You can be a decent guy and get girls. Generally, you'll get a girl who's like you, so if you're decent, respectful, have a hint of naughty and a twinkle in your eye, that's the kind of girl you'll be attracted to and will attract. i just find it funny that so many women are less ashamed/apprehensive about sex than in generations past and a bunch of men now want to take their former place, then complain about it when they get what they got.
grkBoy Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 You have to be a man. One problem too many nice guys do is they think being a man is a bad thing. Some think flirting is "moving too fast" or making out on the first or second date is "disrespecting her". Times have changed. A lot of women now will sleep with a guy they haven't dated. In the end, being a man doesn't mean you can't be a gentleman. Look at James Bond. I know he's a fictional character, but he'll make moves, push his masculinity, etc...but he'll still be a gentleman. You can't be scared to talk to a woman, ask her out, and make a move. I've noticed women are turned off by that fear. You might think "holding back" will make you into the "good guy" she'll fall for, but in many ways, women just want to know that you see her as "hot". That you want to be sexual and intimate with her...BUT...you also want to know her mind and heart, and be there in the long run. You don't have to be a jerk, but you can't be the shy little puppy hoping to get the "AWWWWWWW...come here you cute little thing" affection. All those PUA books and such in many ways push men to be men. You don't have to be a lying playa or a jerk who plays games. However, you can't be the scared little puppy. Be sociable, learn to be attractive (fashion, body, behavior), and go from there. Don't fall into the trap of thinking every guy who is successful with women is some jerk or playa. AND...learn to recognize normal women from bad-boy chasers. Normal women might get duped by a playa, but they dump him immediately. Bad-boy chasers will go nuts trying to "win him over" and push to make him commit. 1
Negative Nancy Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Do you have to be a jerk/player to get women? nope, just gotta have a fat wallet and a big c...... .........ar, accompanied by good looks. that's enough.
joystickd Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 nope, just gotta have a fat wallet and a big c...... .........ar, accompanied by good looks. that's enough. We now see the reason for negativity
Negative Nancy Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 We now see the reason for negativity i now see that your sarcasm detector is off
joystickd Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 i now see that your sarcasm detector is off no. just injecting some craziness
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