TimmyH Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 (edited) I went on 1st date last friday which I think went really well. We went for drinks and hung out for 3 hours. I text her the afternoon after that I had a good time. She responded back in the evening saying she had a good time too. I called her yesterday. She didnt pick up. I didnt leave a voicemail. But I texted her saying that if she is free on Saturday. She should do this. But I havent heard from her yet.....Does it mean she is not interested and blew me off?? Edited March 28, 2012 by TimmyH
january2011 Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Possibly. Give it until Friday. Then if you don't hear from her, let it go and move on. I suggest that next time you have a great first date, make plans for the second date immediately. Don't leave it for three days. In that time, she could easily decide that you're not interested or a 'better' offer comes up, especially if she's very actively dating. Her interest will have waned and your chances of her agreeing to second date will be slim.
AriesBunny Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 January's suggestion of making the second date while you are on the tail end of your first date; means you are serious. If she spurns your advances, you've got your second date answer. You should also tell your dates that you don't see a second date. As a guy it is hard to turn down a woman.
poodle Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 (edited) January2011 gave some great advice! In the meantime try not to think of her and consider the many girls out there left for you to meet. If she isn't interested and isn't decent enough to let you know, you shouldn't waste another second on her. Edit: whoops, misread your post. I thought you texted her a few days ago and she still hadn't replied. Sorry for the rude reply above. I suggest you give her some time to reply. Edited March 28, 2012 by poodle
Feelin Frisky Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 I don't get why you would tell her what she "should" do, so I really hope you didn't phrase it like that. Anyway, here's my take on things, going out for drinks is a bad way to start off. Many people feel guilty and remorseful after they have exposed the part of them self that they wouldn't unless they were oiled with alcohol. Secondly I don't believe in texting early into a possible relationship. That's a chicken s--t device for communication that makes you soooo disposable. I don't care how popular it is. Third, the other posters are right in saying you should have asked her sooner for some kind of next meeting and definitely not another return to a saloon. It's not place to get to know a real person. Eat. Stroll. Meet for breakfast on Sunday morning where she gets an out and gets to see you're not a lounge lizard who tells chicks that they should see you again.
Author TimmyH Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 Should I call her once more?? Or just forget it and move on to the next.
Mantis Toboggan Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Possibly. Give it until Friday. Then if you don't hear from her, let it go and move on. I suggest that next time you have a great first date, make plans for the second date immediately. Don't leave it for three days. In that time, she could easily decide that you're not interested or a 'better' offer comes up, especially if she's very actively dating. Her interest will have waned and your chances of her agreeing to second date will be slim. I know this goes against everything that LoveShack stands for, but there's a certain dance involved in keeping someone's interest. And presenting yourself as being super available tends to lower your value more than raise it. Everything about human nature tells us that people want what they can't have. Or at least what they can't easily acquire. So, telling someone while on the first date that you'd immediately like to arrange Date#2 seems a bit questionable. I believe, January, that you're viewing this from the perspective of going out on a date with a guy you REALLY like, and you want to immediately know if the feeling is mutual. You also have to consider that you'll be dating guys you're not quite sure about yet. And any appearance that they're over-eager or too clingy could tip the scales towards turning you off from them.
dasein Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Disagree with the advice to plan the next date on the tail, or especially during the first one. Give yourself and her time to reflect and decide if going out again is in the cards. If you feel like you just know on the first date, take the time anyway and process. Most busy people can't plan dates like that anyway. In the future would never use texts with a brand new person. Also, leave a message in early calls always. Some women might think you are weird if they see a call came through and no message very early before they know you. In your shoes I would call the girl -now- and leave a brief message, but not referring to date plans, just ask her to call you back when she gets a chance. If she calls you back, she is likely interested, if not, move to next option. Good luck.
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Yeah I wouldn't press someone for a second date on that date unless you felt it was a sure thing and there was a strong connection, but really why would it even be necessary? It would just happen on it's own If you're both truly interested in each other. Otherwise give her an opportunity to go home and let it settle in with how she feels about you, because maybe she felt pressured to make plans for a second date because she was put on the spot...I think it's a little desperate, too aggressive If it's just a casual date and you already press for the date...however this really depends on the person as I've never even really had to put any thought into this myself. So I don't think you did anything wrong in terms of contact, I think she just didn't feel a strong chemistry. If she hasn't contacted you by now I would assume she is not interested. IF she was interested she'd get back to you right away and be all for meeting up again unless she really had something set in stone that she couldn't move. I would start to put this behind you at this point, If she calls and surprises you then great however If I were in your shoes I would not plan on it.
starla33 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I'm confused about the "you should do this"? That is weird I would be confused as hell with that text.
Joaquin Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 If a girl wants to see you again she will make every effort to make sure it happens. Dont pander. You asked her out. Let her meet you some of the way. 1
january2011 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 I believe, January, that you're viewing this from the perspective of going out on a date with a guy you REALLY like, and you want to immediately know if the feeling is mutual. You also have to consider that you'll be dating guys you're not quite sure about yet. And any appearance that they're over-eager or too clingy could tip the scales towards turning you off from them. You're right Mantis, that's exactly how I see it. Though I'm of the view that I don't want to play games and don't want to be with someone who wants to play games. While I recognise and accept that there might be a 'dance', I value a clear, honest intent and strong signal. But yes, the disclaimer is that it only really works if I really like the guy.
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